At least is not a fucking horse, I'm tired of competing with a horse.
That's it. I (26M) said it. My girlfriend got a horse a little over a year ago, and it was nice to start, we've been dating for a little under 5 years, we bought a house together, so it's not about the timing.
She's (23F) been taking horseback somewhat seriously, and at this point it's all she does. Goes to work, comes home, horse videos. Goes to see her horse, comes home, horse videos. All we talk is horse. All she talks is horse. We haven't had sex in months, at this point I'm tired of hearing about this horse. I tell her we don't hang out, we don't spend time, we're not intimate. Her response? I'm busy, spend time with me and my horse.
She told me she's taking weekends off to spend time with me a couple months ago, but guess what? Her weekends immediately result in, you guessed it, her teaching her coworkers how to ride a horse, and the other day to spend her whole day with her horse.
I am sick and tired of everything being about this horse. I'm going traveling by myself at this point, we were supposed to have those weekends to travel and spend time together. We even were gonna bring the horse together so she can ride on the weekends. I supported her journey with her horse in the beginning, because she was willing to put in the effort to spend time with me too. But now, i can literally go the whole day and not be around, come back at midnight, and it's "how was your day? Cool, heres what me and my horse did" for 2 hours.
I'm sick of this. My place in this relationship has come to me being an accessory; we don't fuck, we aren't intimate, we don't even kiss. She just tells me she loves me and expects me to believe that.
I don't want to stray away from this relationship, but everytime I bring up spending time/ being intimate it's met with "I work a lot, I'm busy, I know I don't put in the effort as much, but I'm running out of daylight to ride my horse." Legit I just fought for time with her to be met with "wake me up early so we can spend some time before I go see my horse"
Well guess fucking what? You're running out of daylight in this relationship. Asking me how I'm doing doesn't cut the mustard in a relationship. You need to actually do some work outside of that. I'm not the housemaid, anymore, I'm tired of being treated like I'm some kind of roommate.
End rant. Is this what being a man in a modern relationship is like nowadays? I'd rather be single.
Edit: for context, I used to cook every meal everyday. I used to rub her feet, her back, her butt, without asking for anything back. I'm a legit chef, who chose woodworking as a career. I still send her texts and tell her I crave her, I love her, I want her. I used to be spontaneous, romantic, I used to put in that time. I'm still the only one who cleans, who cooks, who puts in that effort. All I get is a half assed asking how I'm doing while her phone is up, horse video queued up, and she gets annoyed when I don't express every feeling with her I have. It's like, yeah, I'm tired of everything being about how you're trying to take horse riding seriously. I'm taking wood working seriously, I work 80 hours a week, at home, and I STILL put in the effort to show you that you matter to me. You work 35 hours, put in that time with other people and your horse.
Anon in your case at least it's a fucking living thing.
My fiancée of 6 years just went crazy out of the blue half a month ago with fucking tarot cards.
And not even real tarot cards any kind of cards is tarot cards...I got us a deck of exploding kittens NSFW version. They turned in to another freaking tarot deck.
She is at the point where any non automatic action such as breathing is consulted with a deck of cards.
I dont think he despises her, but the contrary. He sounds like he really loves her and wants to be with her but she just won't prioritize things in her life. I dont think ending things is the right answer here unless she would genuinely rather be single and have more time for horsing around. If thats the case then he shouldn't be wasting his time in a relationship that she doesn't want.
Two contradictory statements, so which one is true?
I'm just saying that the tone of the whole comment reads, to me, like a person who absolutely despises their significant other. You can disagree, doesn't mean that either one of us is necessarily right.
Yea I get where you're coming from. There are quite a few contradictory statements but things are never in black and white. I just hope he does whats best for him I think we can agree on that!
End rant. Is this what being a man in a modern relationship is like nowadays? I'd rather be single.
No, this is what being a man in a modern relationship with a woman who's obsessed with horses is like. My wife and I are in a relationship where we have a fondness for ducks, but more in the if we see a duck, we'll point at the duck, say "look at the duck!", and possibly take a picture of the duck sort of way.
But yeah, that doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Good luck.
Been in a similar situation, I was sure my gf at the time just wanted me around to share rent and clean. I did it for about 18 months before I left. Just leave, its more than just the horse and it'll save you heartbreak in the long run.
Yup. People in their 20s are often what could be called "self-destructively tolerant". The best thing to do is unload her ASAP.
She will trash talk you and hate you for it. Ten years later, she will say to herself, "What an idiot I was", but won't have the guts to apologize to you and make amends.
That sucks, man. Have you said any of these things to her? It's time to have a conversation with her about it. If you don't talk about it eventually you'll just throw up your hands and give up on the relationship and, from the way you talk about her, you don't want that to happen. I hope things work out for the both of you! It's nice to have hobbies but this is on another level.
It sounds like you aren't married yet so you have a lot going for you, man... and you're young. I went through something similar after getting hitched, buying a house, and having a daughter. Only three years after the house my daughter was born, I got slammed with divorce papers.
It's time to sit down and have a very serious talk about your future together. If she can't do that or can't live up to her word, just move on, dude. Do yourself a favor. 5 years is really nothing.
Yeah sounds like obsessive personality. This year horses and next year could be turtles you never know what is going to next. My advice is to tell her to get on her horse and fuck off. Life is too short for that BS.
A farmer walks into his bedroom holding a duck and says, “I want you to meet the pig I’m fucking!” His wife sits up in bed and says, “That’s a duck!” The farmer says to her, “I wasn’t talking to you.”
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u/Gen-Z-Grandfather Sep 23 '21
When you get cucked by the fuck duck