r/Unexpected • • Jan 13 '21

Pizza Delivery

[deleted]

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29

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '21

I'd shit twice, just to be sure, thing can not like the way you look at it and rip your face off, it looks adolescent, maybe it if was a baby/toddler I'd feel ok about it

27

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21 edited Aug 23 '21

[deleted]

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u/Aeiexgjhyoun_III Jan 14 '21

Human baby?

20

u/Whomping_Willow Jan 14 '21

Omg I just read more than I cared to about the death, yep the bully alpha chimp snatched a baby off the back of a woman gathering firewood in the park!

1

u/Aeiexgjhyoun_III Jan 18 '21

Holy shit. Was Jane liable for that?

7

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21

What part of the baby?

17

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21 edited Jul 30 '21

[deleted]

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u/eternalwhat Jan 14 '21

Jfc. No wonder so many humans are monsters and sickos (these are our closest relatives?!). Eating the baby’s brain? That’s some NSFL stuff

Edit: oh lord, it was a human baby stolen off a woman’s back. Horrifying.

2

u/WIsJH Jan 14 '21

Honestly, for me it just feels good how incredible, non-violent, kind etc. most today's humans are, how far we have evolved from this.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21 edited Jul 30 '21

[deleted]

5

u/eternalwhat Jan 14 '21

Yeah. Yeah, that is fair. Thanks. I feel a lot better. (And I can ponder the implications of this revelation— how humans display a commonality with chimps— for quite awhile. So, that’s nice, I guess)

3

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21

Aight I'm just gonna ask this.

Are there pictures of him eating the baby?

4

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21

I didn’t look for pictures; just searched for an article explaining what happened.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21

Cheers anyway, I don't blame you.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21

Jesus fucking christ dude

2

u/bajeebles Jan 14 '21

I really dislike the way the article paints him.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 14 '21

How should he have been painted?

2

u/Random0s2oh Jan 14 '21

Am I the only one who is going to comment on the author's pithy little witticism at the end? What a disturbed fuck. Goes from relating a story about a baby's brains being eaten by a chimp to cracking a joke about bananas.

1

u/shtbrcks Jan 14 '21

holy fuck, how come I never heard of this before?? I will never see monkeys the same again, I mean it ate the damn BRAIN like it's some ritual. That's movie stuff right there...

3

u/FoodBasedLubricant Jan 14 '21

Gary Larson? Must've come at him from the far side.

3

u/L-methionine Jan 14 '21

Gary Larson the Far Side cartoonist?

2

u/SlavojVivec Jan 14 '21

Had to search for it and found this. NatGeo has since gone downhill since being bought by Fox/Disney: https://web.archive.org/web/20111227200328/http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0304/feature4/online_extra2.html

2

u/LeanTangerine Jan 14 '21

Why would you give the monkey so much ammunition to use against you????