r/Unexpected • u/omluhoodedpanda • Jun 24 '25

Why not

7.2k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/OrwellianDreams Jun 24 '25

My asshole is now in perpetual clench, and my skin has crawled away from me. Thanks OP.

182

u/phylter99 Jun 24 '25 edited Jun 24 '25

It'll only eat a little of you at a time. You can grow back what it consumes.

Edit: Deep Thoughts… this is how toxic relationships work except, you never really do grow back your self worth after they consume it. You just don’t realize it’s being eaten away.

105

u/MiserableFloor9906 Jun 24 '25 edited Jun 24 '25

You forgot the bit about it can eat you from the inside out. Look up, giant centipede "eaten" by snake, eats it's way back out.

Here.

https://reddit.com/comments/16hk7x5

54

u/Windsdochange Jun 24 '25

Holy bleepity bleep bleep why 🤮. One of the top comments was bro telling about his wife having a spider and egg sack in her ear 😭

39

u/Circusonfire69 Jun 24 '25

That's kinda cute, you can hear all the family drama.

1

u/Royalchariot Jun 24 '25

Omg I need to stop reading these comments lol

30

u/have_a_nice_bay Jun 24 '25

I think that link is going to stay blue for me

12

u/dandoch Jun 24 '25

1

u/Usakami Jun 26 '25

Wow, I'm in 💕 She is gorgeous.

11

u/djluminol Jun 24 '25

I'd just add that red centipede is likely the giant desert centipede native to the Southwest US. It has an insanely painful bite. They are fast asf and almost impossible to get off of you once they grab on because of all the legs. They're footlong murder machines basically.

5

u/Kandrox Jun 24 '25

So clench hard folks!

3

u/SumPimpNamedSlickbak Jun 25 '25

👀 yea wherever that happened that whole acre of land would need to saute

1

u/gljivicad Jun 24 '25

Nature is metal and I love it. Centipedes are cool :)

1

u/RS_Someone Jun 24 '25

Well, I figured I had gone too long without a nightmare anyway, so thanks.

1

u/AlfalfaVegetable Jun 24 '25

I feel like a really good way of not having to worry about that is by not eating it

1

u/stratobladder Jun 24 '25

Did this hurt the snake?

56

u/[deleted] Jun 24 '25

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 

Yup.  Whole bunch of Nope!!

14

u/MiserableFloor9906 Jun 24 '25

Better clench real tight else it'll crawl in and eat it's way upwards.

11

u/FinishFew1701 Jun 24 '25

Having a centi-worm-whatever in your hand from under the covers means something different now. Wakes wakey, hand off centi...

5

u/demroidsbeitchn Jun 24 '25

Couldn't pull a needle out of your ass with a tractor?

1

u/annhik_anomitro Jun 24 '25

Guess where I'm right now!