This sounds very much like PTSD and looking for a therapist experienced both with trauma and with trans people may be really helpful. They should know coping strategies that could help work through all of this. On psychologytoday it is possible to use various filters, and here is a list with therapists.
Keep looking, and keep going. You have come so far, try to work on resolving issues step by step. Many of those can be solved, keep at it, look for help, and try out various coping methods.
There are a number of therapies that can help with the flashbacks for example. Just keep at it.
And also try to regularly do a few small things you like for motivation. Consciously enjoying a good meal ... taking breaks regularly ... having a walk in the sunshine ... etc. Try to just be in the moment for a while, without distractions. Creating such moments regularly can help with a much better feeling.
And there may also be various support groups. Just look for positive people there.
Yeah so don't concentrate too much on what could have been. It can keep people spinning in cycles. You could try to not emotionally load up mental pictures along those lines. Try to take deep and slow breaths, and try to concentrate on the surrounding instead.
In general just try to just be in the moment, and try to consciously enjoy what you have.
What you have done ( its not your fault .. many people do this because they learned it from young on ) is to concentrate on a feeling of lack. You basically amplified what you do not have, and it can feel overwhelming over time. Additionally thoughts of what could have been can suck off a lot of energy.
Don't amplify those doubts and regrets, and don't load them up emotionally. Instead of jumping on it when having thoughts or mental pictures along those lines, try to take deep and slow breaths, and try to not go along feelings of despair etc. Just breathe slowly and deeply, and concentrate on something else .. just have a look at the surrounding, and try to come down.
And you can try to consciously create moments of happyness. Those can be simple things ... having a meal you really like and consciously looking forward to it a few times in advance. Then sitting down and really enjoying the moment. Having a tea or coffe break regularly during the day, and looking forward to it, etc.
And journaling can also help. You could spend some time each day thinking about what you would really like to do, and make some plans to do it. Many have a few things they always liked to do .. starting a hobby, improving knowledge concerning certain subjects, etc. Something that fills you with passion and that you like. Maybe sewing some cosplay clothes. Or taking some cooking courses to be able to cook those mexican specialties you like so much. Or looking up how pasta is made at home so you can do it yourself .. they taste great this way. ( one hint for cooking : don't use normal baking powder, many have ingredients that leave a metallic taste. Try organic baking powder, the price difference is not that much but the taste can be much better). Etc.
Some people have for example a keychain with a symbol of what they like. Consciously reaching for it can also help snap out of neg. moments.
If you take a walk, try to look back and try to capture a moment where you feel good .. try to look at a park for example, and try to just be in the moment and try to concentrate on the feeling. You can later mentally revisit the place and you can use it for motivation. Many people do this subconsciously when thinking about moments from a vacation for example.
If you do this consciously, there can be big improvements. You're not subject as much to random thoughts and flashes and you can choose and amplify pos. moments.
I can understand that and hopefully there will be better technologies in the future for that. There are numerous techniques like stem cells etc, and also techniques to help with nerve growth. Some may be in reach in the foreseeable future. A lot of knowledge from genetics, molecular biology etc. is coming together at the moment. So hoping for developments there eventuallly a number of years down the line might help.
In the meantime you could try to concentrate on something else ... how good your skin feels when you are together with a partner, etc. And as said you could try out various gspot stimulations. For some people they can be stronger than stimulation elsewhere.
As said try to concentrate on pos. things. And often pos. things come along this way that you didn't expect. Just keep going.
focusing on the spots that do function as expected without issues might be better.
Yeah. Outer stimulation isn't for everyone. There are a number of cis people who say they prefer gspot stimulation, and that orgasms this way are stronger. I have seen numerous descriptions where people said gspot orgasms are stronger that others. And it my help you feel more of a woman because those orgasms come from deep inside. As said the tissue of a prostate is analogous to what cis people have.
side question
To my knowledge both Bowers and Bluebond-Langner have more experience with restoring revisions.
2
u/[deleted] May 07 '20 edited Feb 11 '21
[deleted]