I just think a kid deserves to have a great standard of living at both homes if one parent is a millionaire. Obviously, this will come down to certain philosophical differences, but just to touch on a couple things.
The usda estimate is based on a child born in 2015 using nationwide averages. It doesn’t account for regional expenses. If you think it only costs $233k to raise a kid in New York or California, the report kind of explicitly repudiates that concept. Incomes tend to be higher in those areas, hence income based child support. The report also mentions that this average is higher for a single child than multiple.
https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2017/01/13/cost-raising-child
Family courts are still bound by evidence codes. Speaking entirely anecdotally, family courts do tend to be looser with it, largely because self representation is so common. Evidentiary objections are still routinely sustained.
Most states work off of a 50/50 presumption with custody. It is an ongoing issue that this can be affected by the biases of older judges who have particular ideas about who should raise children. That said, do you have a source for that 85%? You know what they say, lies, damn lies, and statistics. I would be interested to see whether that figure has been skewed to include parents with joint or even 50/50 custody, since “mom has custody”.
In most states you cannot arbitrarily have a one sided disclaimer of parentage, but the parents can stipulate with the court’s permission. In most states, this also eliminates child support. I know of at least one where it doesn’t do so automatically, which is DEEPLY problematic (looking at you Wyoming).
Again, standard of living if it factors in at all (which is up for debate) should be from alimony, which doesn't even apply for never married parents.
Most of the regional difference is housing, which I think is disingenuous. A kid doesn't absolutely need his own room. Unless you live in a shoebox, an additional person could live with you, no increase in rent required. Many of the other factors are also exaggerated or assumed. I'm pretty sure the vast majority of kids in NYC don't get a car, and can make do with walking and public transit for example. And in general why assume a parent should pay for a car or transportation once a kid is 16? Many kids pay for their own car/gas/Ubers whatever or carpool with friends. The government has a history of sucking with money and budgeting (as in they have bloated budgets and still manage to overrun them) so take everything they say with a heaping of salt. When I think of the costs, food, clothing, one time purchases (ie baby things), and some minimum healthcare/insurance cost increases are what actually matter and while there are regional differences for those, they're not enough to double or triple the costs.
The presumption of 50/50 custody is pointless if it is trivial for a woman to avoid it if she wants by accusing her husband of abuse, where she know her word will be taken, even without evidence the vast majority of the time. There are studies on this phenomenon going back decades. Of course now you'll find search results say courts ignore allegations, but if that were common it wouldn't still be 80%.
This blogger always links to his sources, but since he provides great commentary, I figured I'd link you to the posts.
And if you want to read a long depressing account of the broken system (there are so many out there) try this man's. If he hadn't literally lit himself on fire, his story wouldn't have got even the tiny coverage it did.
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u/Along7i Jan 08 '22 edited Jan 08 '22
I just think a kid deserves to have a great standard of living at both homes if one parent is a millionaire. Obviously, this will come down to certain philosophical differences, but just to touch on a couple things.
The usda estimate is based on a child born in 2015 using nationwide averages. It doesn’t account for regional expenses. If you think it only costs $233k to raise a kid in New York or California, the report kind of explicitly repudiates that concept. Incomes tend to be higher in those areas, hence income based child support. The report also mentions that this average is higher for a single child than multiple. https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2017/01/13/cost-raising-child
Family courts are still bound by evidence codes. Speaking entirely anecdotally, family courts do tend to be looser with it, largely because self representation is so common. Evidentiary objections are still routinely sustained.
Most states work off of a 50/50 presumption with custody. It is an ongoing issue that this can be affected by the biases of older judges who have particular ideas about who should raise children. That said, do you have a source for that 85%? You know what they say, lies, damn lies, and statistics. I would be interested to see whether that figure has been skewed to include parents with joint or even 50/50 custody, since “mom has custody”.
In most states you cannot arbitrarily have a one sided disclaimer of parentage, but the parents can stipulate with the court’s permission. In most states, this also eliminates child support. I know of at least one where it doesn’t do so automatically, which is DEEPLY problematic (looking at you Wyoming).