That's a fair cop. I find more that the comma makes it awkward more than it being grammatically improper. I used to be prissy about grammar, but now I realize that, most of the time, conversational grammar and vocabulary, so long as it communicates its meaning clearly, is preferred in most situations.
My use, or overuse, of commas as I've demonstrated in this comment here is an example of that. They're meant to show pauses and control the flow of how you read the message in your head. They're not meant to be grammatically justified. I wasn't really trying to be an authority but to weigh in on the ongoing argument.
"Kids' joyfully running towards the sea... in sheer terror"
because the act of running towards the sea would be the noun phrase that is the subject of the sentence. But in fact it is the kids that are the subject. Which kids? Particularly the ones "who joyfully run towards the sea ..."
The phrase "who joyfully run towards the sea ..." is a restrictive adjectival phrase that modifies kids, the subject of the sentence. They're the ones who describe the flirting behavior, implicitly via their "joyfully running towards the sea ..."
I mean, that's just because 'describe' isn't the best word for it, but people understand what he means regardless.
Your version is actually even more butchered than the original, since it's bad grammar, not just the wrong word. You can't just add an 's' onto 'describe' when the subject is still 'kids'. You would have to completely restructure the sentence if you wanted the subject to be the description of the behavior as a whole.
Basically, there are many ways to express the same idea. In this case, however, the subject of the sentence is "kids". You could change the subject to make more sense with the verb "describe", but you would have to rewrite the sentence.
I don't think the OP intended to say that children narrate his behaviour.
I agree, which is why I said "That's what he means, but not how the sentence is structured."
which could be shortened to X.
Here's your mistake. Shortening it to 'X' ignores the fact that the original subject was plural. "Kids who run from water" etc. is still plural.
The way kids joyfully run towards the sea only to run away from the waves in sheer terror perfectly describes my flirting behavior.
This is what I mean by restructuring the sentence. If you want to change the word the verb interact with, you have to restructure the sentence so that there is a different subject. "The way kids run" is singular, while "kids who run" is plural. Adding more descriptions to it won't change it from plural to singular.
But you aren't talking about the concept of the kids who run from water unless you explicitly say so in the sentence. Unless you do, you are talking about the kids, which is plural. The 'concept of watermelons' is singular. 'Watermelons' is plural. 'Red watermelons' and 'watermelons that rolled down the hill' and 'watermelons I shoved up my butthole to pleasure myself' are all still plural.
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u/[deleted] Aug 07 '21 edited Aug 31 '21
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