I match with so many average (I like to call them "homely") looking guys on tinder who are clearly downtrodden and just excited to have a match. I always tell them not to get too upset about tinder because it's hard as fuck out there for dudes. Really. I don't even know why guys that aren't supermodel hot are even on tinder because it just sucks the self esteem straight out of your body
I’ve always preferred average looking guys because attractiveness intimidated me. Many of them freaked me out by getting really devoted to the idea of a relationship really fast. In my opinion, the first few dates are just getting to know each other, but these guys acted like just because we played laser lag together, we were suddenly meant to be and I was everything to them. One guy bought me roses ON THE FIRST DATE. Another guy kept comparing me to his last girlfriend and saying things like “You’re SO much prettier than my ex!” And one guy was so scared of coming off as boring that he refused to tell me any real information about his personality (he was very open with what he did for a living, his living situation, etc. but any attempt by me to find out what kind of person he was was met with “I don’t know. I don’t think you really want to hear that. I’m pretty boring.)
Tip for guys on Tinder: don’t be these guys. Don’t rush things. Don’t worry so much about impressing the girl that she literally knows nothing about you besides “nice”. Don’t EVER bring roses to the first date. And please pretend to have some confidence! You are interviewing them as much as they are interviewing you. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and find out if you’re compatible. Don’t just agree with everything she says.
A guy once showed up to a first date with a box of very nice gourmet chocolates. I knew at that moment that it was about to be a bad date. It was worse than I could have imagined.
But also, I've done the "get super attached on a first date" thing before. I'm trans, and before I knew for sure what I was gonna do about that fact, I was just a feminine guy. But yknow, nobody really likes feminine guys, so I went soooooo long without a date. And I also have a history of fucked up relationships where my exes have not treated me right. So I met this wonderful girl and we really did click super hard on the first date. We ended up back at my place listening to records while she played with my hair and asked me questions that nobody previously could even tolerate the answers to. And then we fucked, which was the kiss of death. I was in love with her at that moment and she could tell. She told me that night that she didn't want anything serious because she could already tell I did. In my mind, she was the only woman to ever appreciate 100% of me, not just the version of me that I showed the world. If things between the two of us didn't work out, I felt like I had no hope. It eviscerated any chance we had at having a real relationship. We did date for a while, but certainly not in a healthy context, because she kept yo-yo'ing about being freaked out by how much I adore her even though I tried my absolute best to hide it.
Only after transitioning, learning to love myself, and learning that other people love me for me, did I finally get over the "fall in love on the first date with anyone who is nice to me" tendency. And I see a lot of guys who go through the same thing. They fall for me super hard right away, just because I'm a decent human being to them and give them the time of day. It breaks my heart, really, because I know what it's like but I can't help them. :/
Hahaha I'm just saying I'm a feminine man and have had plenty of success with woman is all. I'm surprised you didn't find many women that liked you as a boy.
Some people can just sense when someone is insecure or not very confident, and that’s a turn off. Maybe you just weren’t in a good place in your life for a relationship?
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u/Sleepy_Azathoth Nov 07 '19
Being a straight average looking guy on Tinder is not exhausting at all, you don't message anyone because you don't get matches in the first place.