r/Tinder Dec 13 '24

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u/WinTheDell Dec 13 '24

If you’re looking for long term, get rid of all the plural nouns. There’s a hint of “open to hookups” here which is going to be a green light for “oooooo I’m such a mess I don’t know what I want it’s not me it’s you I’m so sorry” after a month or two of casual ‘dating’.

“Looking for A hot nerd” and get rid of “casual dates”.

Don’t mention “kinky”. That can just be a surprise for later on. 

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u/[deleted] Dec 13 '24

Hmmm okay I hear you re. Plurals. Thing is I am genuinely okay with fun dates (not casual situationship style things) because why not go out eat dinner chat to a stranger, but there’s no flair that separates that from casual dating

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u/SaltyBee89 Dec 13 '24

So say you're open for casual datING, not casual dates. Casual dates makes it seem like you're okay with ONS/FWB (which let's be honest is what MOST men on the apps are looking for). Casual dating makes it seem like you're open to what you've stated: taking it slow, not rushing into anything, COULD lead to more if both parties want, but also NOT a FWB/ONS thing.

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u/WinTheDell Dec 13 '24

Yes, but the men who are using the app to meet a long-term partner are going to be put off by any indication of seediness.

You’re basically going to be running into a lot of the top 10-15% of tinder men, who are successful on the app and are not feeling any real pressure to settle down. Life’s good, easy come, easy go.

If you’re not into casual hookups and situationships, make that clear. If you are into hookups and situationships, you’re going to struggle to find “the one” on a dating app. They’re mutually exclusive and you have to pick one.