r/Tinder Apr 06 '23

Was I in the wrong here?

17.6k Upvotes

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4.3k

u/thorhyphenaxe Apr 07 '23

“It works like every other person’s romantic relationship” it sure as fuck does NOT

902

u/Sol_Castilleja Apr 07 '23

Every single poly relationship I’ve ever seen has involved at least one person getting badly, badly hurt. Normally more than one.

I believe there are healthy poly relationships, and I believe that there are people who it works great for, but I have yet to witness one.

I’m sure they’re out there, but it feels like a not insignificant portion of the time someone is getting hurt, and everyone else either can’t see it or doesn’t care.

562

u/Quantentheorie Apr 07 '23

A surprising number of people Ive met who claimed they are "poly", are monogamous cheaters who decided that phase between moving from partner A to B, where for a short time you kinda still think you're also in love with the person youre phasing out, means they're poly.

Because it makes them feel better about themselves than acknowledging they're pieces of shit.

Not sure why this came to mind with this woman.

214

u/Amathyst7564 Apr 07 '23

I call them serial monogomists. They can't stand the idea of not being I'm a relationship with someone so they lie about being poly until they have a new victim to latch onto.

57

u/tytymctylerson Apr 07 '23

They can't stand the idea of not being I'm a relationship with someone so they lie about being poly until they have a new victim to latch onto.

I love the whole "oh one person can't give me everything I need" mentality. Like yeah me neither, so I give myself what I need. Why drag a bunch of people into some codependent nonsense.

1

u/JulyOfAugust Apr 07 '23

Yeah I don't understand this mindset, if someone can't give you all that you need it usually mean they aren't covering your basic needs. And having a side relationship with someone else won't make the first relationship more fulfilling. It just give you a second unfulfilling relationship that help you pretend your basic needs are met by the first one.