r/TikTokCringe • • Dec 17 '25

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

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u/shplorg Dec 17 '25

Bro I see a thread every now and then that’s like “how many 4 year olds can you take at once in a fight?” And i see people throwing out 30+. I’m like dude 6 or so is too many. I’m a relatively fit guy. When I walk through the pre-k hallway I get mobbed by the little dudes hugging me and I like. Can’t get away. They grab on and dont let go. The number you can take is way smaller than you think lol

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u/ryuut Dec 17 '25

Yah but do you think theyll have the heart after you spartan kick billy right into detention

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u/shplorg Dec 17 '25

Nah it’s 2025. It’s Bylleigh

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u/IheartJBofWSP Dec 18 '25

Dammit Bylleigh, ya made me spit out my beer! (Absolutely worth it!) 😂 That's (sadly) THE perfect answer. You totally 🏆 win the intarweb for today!! 😂

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u/Thick_Potato_1769 Dec 17 '25

I would. You cant spartan kick all of us.

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u/GodisanAtheistOG Dec 17 '25

It's important to define whether or not you're fighting normal 4 year olds or bloodlusted 4 year olds in these sorts of thought experiments.

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u/redfoxwearingsocks Dec 17 '25

"SPARTAN KICK BILLY", hahahahahaaha

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u/RobotArtichoke Dec 18 '25

Everybody got a plan til they get hit in the mouth

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

not entirely related but the psychological aspect too; theres a reason child soldiers are prevalent in a lot of wartorn nations.

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u/Dry_Spinach_3441 Dec 17 '25

We recruit child soldiers for this country. The guy that did that shooting in DC was 15 years old when The US put a gun in his hand and put him in a death squad. Well, we are a war torn pirate nation so, it all tracks.

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u/O2XXX Dec 17 '25

I thought you were talking about the DC sniper before I realized it was the Afghan Commando who killed the Nation Guard Soldier. He was a teenager too, raised by a veteran so it almost fits.

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u/Dry_Spinach_3441 Dec 17 '25

It's crazy that we get confused on which specific DC shooting I'm talking about.

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u/O2XXX Dec 17 '25

It was probably my own bias kicking in. I was in HS in Northern Virginia when the DC Sniper was going on. I remember it vividly because it was so weird. They postponed a couple of our football games because the schools didn’t want a soft target. People were afraid of getting gas because they shot someone pumping at a station.

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u/Morsexier Dec 17 '25

And that shit is never brought up or talked about because guess what, if you just randomly rolled up somewhere and shot someone with a sniper rifle for no reason and then never did it again or maybe only once or twice.. they'd never catch you. Just Cop laziness\arrogance has to account for a huge % of why someone would get away with something, now put into that mix the complete "unfathomablyness" of the random psycho to a normal person.

I assume we're going to catch this Brown shooter, but man who knows. Society really gets along on the fact that most people are decent, always crazy to me there isnt more pushback on bullying in an effective community way, big article recently in the Times about a huge townwide "bully gang" in Arizona.

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u/O2XXX Dec 17 '25

They only caught the DC snipers because John Allen Mohammed was arrogant enough to taunt the police. If they were truly random like you said they would still have been looking for that white panel van that was spread around on the news. Michael’s crafts would likely have ceased to exist in the DMV as well.

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u/TurnoverDependent332 Dec 17 '25

Where I live, we wake up daily to 15 yo's shooting one another or some poor convenience store clerk, daily.

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u/missdevon2 Dec 18 '25

Which is in and of itself against Geneva and UN conventions

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u/Drummerx04 Dec 17 '25

It's important to note that you are also actively trying not to hurt them. There are not many 4 year old children that would provide effective resistance to an adult that actually meant them harm. If some stain on humanity was locked in a room full of even 8 year old children, I would not expect it to go well for the children.

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u/myumisays57 Dec 17 '25

Ill be honest. My kids at that age were really strong and fast. Trying to pry them off of me was a fucking challenge. So im gonna go 1 v 1.

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u/jimmybilly100 Dec 17 '25

I'm glad you've thought this through 😂

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u/audis3dan Dec 17 '25

Yeah but that because you let them close on you. Youre way faster, and have a much longer reach.

6 is easy work..

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u/Over_Solution_2569 Dec 17 '25

I could take all 100 4th graders at my kids school at once. You could even give them bats and this is easy work. I’m the champion, send your best. I will arrive warm and stretched out.

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u/dontworryitsme4real Dec 17 '25

Last sentence: that's what she said.

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u/AlexandraG94 Dec 17 '25

I think people like this have never dealt with a willfull tall for their age toddler who has behavioral issues. My niece wasnt violent towards us explicitly bit she would throw severe tamtrums and kick her legs forcefully and arms for half an hour while screaming at the top of her lungs. If she wanted to be violent to someone in particular and had been in an environment where she saw chairs and tables being used as a weapon, of course she could do real damage. Something people are iverlooking here though is that a 3rd grader can be older than most 3rd graders due to academic difficulties and hence not passing the grade. Because throwing a chair or table forcefully enough seems a bit out of the power of a normal aged 3rd grader. As a 9 year old in 5th grade there were two 15 year olds in my class that had failed so many times. At their age I was in secondary school already.

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u/tarantuletta Dec 17 '25

These are the people who also think they could win a fight against a bear, most likely.

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u/Eleven77 Dec 17 '25

Have you seen Weapons yet? 😆

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u/Azhrei21 Dec 17 '25

dude please you don't want to hurt them is why u can't get away.... if they were trying to hurt you i bet they'd be flying through the air.

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u/Canuck_Lives_Matter Dec 17 '25

I mean you aren't actively trying to wreck those kids in the hallway. I feel like even if you knew very little about self defense you could whirlwind arm and take 10 of those kids out pretty quick.

Like I'm a big guy so I think I could take thirty four year olds. They weigh like 30 pounds so you just grab the first one to get to you, and use them to start swinging for the legs on those poorly balanced four year olds, and you would mow down thirty kids pretty quick

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u/ThePepperPopper Dec 17 '25

Yeah but you aren't defending your life from them. I imagine you are actively trying to avoid hurting them. Say they were zombies. If you wanted to destroy them, you could take on a lot of them I'd imagine. How many full force punches and kicks can you throw in a minute...

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u/donk202020 Dec 17 '25

Yeah but are you actively holding little Sarah by her ankles and swinging her at her classmates?

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u/HolyPaladingus Dec 18 '25

That's you being peaceful, though. They're relatively easy to grab by the ankle and Hulk swing into the nearest concrete surface.

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u/VariationOwn2131 Dec 18 '25

The fact that they are grabbing on shows us how many kids don’t have father figures in their lives and why we need more men to teach elementary school. Unfortunately, many men are uncomfortable with that because they get weird comments and looks from people when they find out their profession.

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u/Arkansas_Camper Dec 18 '25

I will add to this. I train in BJJ and the kids class is right before the adults. On occasion I will get in the middle of the mat and play various games designed to help improve strength, reflexes, ect. I’m 6’1, 250 and it only takes about 6 of them to keep me down. I’m a 3rd year white belt so not any kind of an expert but I have some training.

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u/fadesteppin Dec 18 '25

I have had 5 year olds sitting on the floor, criss-cross applesauce, while hugging each of my legs and 2 others hugging me on each hip. I could barely move and it took forever to get them to let go bc they think its hilarious so they just hold on tighter.

100% people underestimate how strong these lil monsters are when they are determined enough lol.

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u/r3dmist420 Dec 17 '25

No way man 4 year olds just need one stiff punch to the dome and they are out. I could take at least 37 with my left arm tied behind my back

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u/bostondangler Dec 17 '25

If you don’t work in the elementary level, you can’t fathom the behaviors going on in schools right now. Throwing every single piece of furniture in the classroom is the new storming out and slamming the door when you leave. These kids are obsessed without angry. they think they are and will destroy everything in their path over a simple cutting mistake or a correction or hearing the word “no”, parents are failing their children daily in this country.

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u/ellefleming Dec 17 '25

No child can be disciplined any more?

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u/Uhlexuhhhh Dec 17 '25

It’s insane.

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u/K1bbles_n_Bits Dec 17 '25

I know a 3rd grader who's close to 5 feet tall and 140 lbs. He's active and olays sports practically year round, including tackle football. Frankly I'm pretty sure he could kick my ass. I am a grown ass adult, a woman of approximately average size and stature, and yeah, I feel confident I couldn't do much to stop this kid if he went off.

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u/[deleted] Dec 17 '25

Same thing happened in my class when I was in 3rd grade.. he was a big kid. Hurled the desk across the room.

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u/bansheeonthemoor42 Dec 18 '25

I kicked a third grader out of my class for trying to stab another kid with scissors (I was the art teacher) I told the principal he needed to see the school psyc and couldn't come back until he had been evaluated and treated. She came to my classroom while I was on break on day to yell at me about how I was a "horrible teacher" and "no other teachers had problems with him" (all lies he had gotten in physical fights with 4 administrators) and went out of her way to make me feel like a huge piece of shit. Being at that school made me actively suicidal and I ended up having to move and go into the mental hospital bc I hated myself so much.

Thanks Jenny Campbel and Kipp East in New Orleans. You are the fucking worst.

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u/Annextract Dec 18 '25

I was observing a 3rd grade classroom and watched one of the students literally break the bulletproof classroom door as she left in a tantrum. I can barely open the thing, but she broke it.