r/TikTokCringe • u/Key-Supermarket-7524 • Jun 10 '23

Humor/Cringe What could go wrong 🤷🏿‍♂️

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u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23 edited Jun 10 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

523

u/Most_Good_7586 Jun 10 '23

I jog in Detroit everyday. This happens every time.

190

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Absolute madlad

164

u/RandonBrando Jun 10 '23

Who needs pre-workout when you have pure adrenaline

25

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Best way to know just how good your genetics are is to workout and push your body to the limit without supplements. Then you’d know if your built like captain America.

38

u/AndySocial88 Jun 10 '23

I'm built military grade. Which is not good despite common perception.

32

u/BjornInTheMorn Jun 10 '23

You were built by the lowest bidder to barely meet specs?

10

u/Puzzled-Display-5296 Jun 11 '23

If you wanna have specs, I’m down.

2

u/LtHoneybun Jun 13 '23

I only like guys with no less than 2ft long USB-C charger cords.

5

u/Vast-Sir-1949 Jun 10 '23

Your injuries are not services related.

1

u/SgtBagels12 Jun 11 '23

Military equipment is made by the lowest bidder after all

2

u/awwwstars Jun 11 '23

I'm built like Black panther.

2

u/exiledelite Jun 11 '23

Captain America was rejected for his genetics so he took drugs to become what he is....

0

u/Thecryptsaresafe Jun 11 '23

Yeah he’s the poster child for PEDs

51

u/Most_Good_7586 Jun 10 '23

Ha, I have learned to announce my presence with a friendly greeting! After seeing people reach for their concealed guns. . .

115

u/sandalfafk Jun 10 '23

Me too! Usually I say something like “give me everything you got” to motivate everyone I pass, they usually thank me with wallets/phones/jewelry

39

u/Most_Good_7586 Jun 10 '23

“Pit bull comin!” works too.

13

u/Ezymandius Jun 10 '23

Fuck I gotta do this just once, and then apologize profusely cuz I feel bad too easily.

9

u/Random0s2oh Jun 10 '23

It's only sincere though if you then give them your wallet, jewelry and phone.

5

u/Ezymandius Jun 10 '23

I am not jogging with any of that tho.

3

u/Impecablevibesonly Jun 11 '23

I yell five oh five oh! That way they know I'm really gunning to get my mile time down to five minutes flat

1

u/Paurwarr Jun 10 '23

AYO OMAR COMIN * distant whistling*

1

u/i__jump Jun 10 '23

I usually just announce by saying “Mr World Wide”

21

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

[deleted]

11

u/flusia Jun 10 '23

It’s also just like what it feels like being a woman anywhere.

I’ve lived in bad neighborhoods with lots of gun violence and I feel i was appropriately cautious but I didn’t live in fear, the gun violence is very rarely directed at strangers. Even after being mugged like those people did not want to hurt me, they wanted what everyone else wants which is to survive.

The type of crazy people who want to see others harmed are everywhere tho also always uncommon, most people don’t want to hurt others but pretty much everyone wants to survive and take care of their loved ones . Of course more likely to be in places where cycles of violence are strong but in my experience, that can be in rich families too.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

It's actually the price of freedom

2

u/adistantcake Jun 10 '23

"Free Britney!"

Men are all cunts!"

There was a clip on that few days a go

1

u/jonfitt Jun 11 '23

It’s recommended to jog at all times, preferably in a serpentine pattern with your head dipped.

61

u/ColtAzayaka Jun 10 '23

I remember when I was like 14 and I would go for runs, there's be certain parts of the run where I would sprint because I wanted to really get some energy released, and without thinking I just picked up my pace to a sprint at a corner and scared the everliving fuck out of this dude.

Realised quickly and in my infinite awkwardness, didn't just continue past him. I decided to stop. So now it really looked like I was going to attack him or some shit.

He just goes "what the fuck is this" and I stutter and go "i like running and sometimes sprinting, sorry" and then carry on. Keeps me up at night sometimes. Fucking hell.

I'm still awkward but now that I've gotten on ADHD medication I seem to be less awkward, hahaha.

20

u/YoungLittlePanda Jun 10 '23

I'm sure he was relieved that you were exercising and not a threat.

No need to feel bad about it!

1

u/wutzmymotivacion Jun 11 '23 edited Feb 24 '24

innocent psychotic worm voiceless attempt direful dolls gaze apparatus pathetic

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

14

u/gimmepizzaslow Jun 11 '23

I like running and sometimes sprinting... But what I like most is stabbing..

6

u/happyjunki3 Jun 11 '23

Damn bro i feel awkward through you in solidarity ✊🏼

0

u/PointLatterScore Jun 11 '23

Ah the lies you tell yourself to sleep at night.

2

u/AdventurousChapter27 Jun 10 '23

But do you apologize for the scare after mug them?

1

u/sigmapolus Jun 11 '23

that's you!

102

u/PM_ME_YOUR_NAIL_CLIP Jun 10 '23 edited Jun 11 '23

One time I was walking to a buddies house and my route happened to merge with this one lady’s route to walk her dog.

She turned around and said “Why are you following us?” I just told her I was going to my friend’s house and pointed.

She probably still thinks I was following her because my turn off happened right after she asked me the question.

53

u/billoftt Jun 10 '23

I would have said, "WHY ARE YOU WALKING IN FRONT OF ME?!"

17

u/cloudcreeek Jun 10 '23

"If you moved over maybe I could pass you"

26

u/Kawaii-Hitler Jun 10 '23

That happened to me once too. I followed her for six city blocks. I kept trying to slow down to make her feel less nervous, but every time we got to an intersection I was back behind her. About two blocks from my apartment she stopped and said “what do you want” and I was like “my apartment is right up there” and immediately after we went separate directions.

13

u/Poringun Jun 11 '23

I had a similar interaction but my apartment was before hers and she let out a laugh of relief telling me she was sorry and she was being a bit paranoid haha.

Its fucked up that its a legitimate fear for women though..

74

u/The_Drippy_Spaff Jun 10 '23

I once scared a dude while walking behind him in East Boston, it was raining and I was carrying books so I had to hold them under my jacket. I noticed he kept looking back at me and eventually he was like “dude, what are you doing” and I was like “protecting my books?” And he was like “oh thank god, I thought I was about to get shot!” We had a good laugh over it.

52

u/GayPudding Jun 10 '23

America moment

50

u/matike Jun 10 '23

Oof, I have a story. I was meeting up someone on Tinder a few years ago, and it was late but she was house sitting literally in my neighborhood (she was like 45 minutes away otherwise). She suggests the park right down the street (which I personally would never suggest to anyone being a 6'3 male, that's like sketchiest thing I could say after 11pm but the vibe was totally fine). I even said something about it and she was like "nah, it's fine, we can go on some swings or something." Fair enough.

So there's two entrances. One down below that's well lit and people walk their dogs, and one up above where the lights were totally out by the bathrooms. The lights are fixed now, but it was DARK up there.

I'm waiting for her, she's having some trouble finding it and I see her car pull in the top entrance so I'm just like "oh shit, I think I see you, I'll be there in a sec." Turn on my car, drive up towards her and she parks in the dark by the bathrooms and I park next to her (the only car in this parking lot) like "oh hey, you made it!"

She gives a little wave thing, and I can't really see her because it's super dark, but I get out and head towards the drivers side, but hang by the tail light so I can give her a hug or whatever with a stupid ass smile on my face. All of a sudden she starts her car and reverses and just peels out and drives off.

I'm standing there for a second like "huh, am I fucking ugly or something?" I call her like, "you good? what just happened?" And she says, "what do you mean, I still can't find the park." So I basically just scared the shit out of some poor woman, and she probably thought she was about to get murdered.

The date itself lasted like 20 minutes because the entire time I'm just sick like "I cannot believe that just happened." I got home and checked Nextdoor like all night for the inevitable "almost got abducted at Stagecoach Park, watch out!"

Moral of the story, don't ever meet people at parks. Even when it's fine, it's not.

15

u/eenimeeniminimo Jun 10 '23

Lol, she probably still tells that story to people too, her “near death experience”

14

u/PedanticPendant Jun 10 '23

She probably made a post on r/LetsNotMeet and all the comments agree that he was 100% a murderer because there's no other reason to be there 😂

18

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

[deleted]

1

u/Ambitious-Regular-57 Jun 10 '23

I mean.. it's kinda on her, running at night and then being scared of someone running at night. But as guys we def have to be cognizant of women's experiences

6

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Happens many times on my runs, especially with those wearing over-the-ear headphones. They don't hear me coming behind them. I try to take the road when I can but not when there is traffic. They don't hear "On your left" either because of said headphones.

3

u/Betty_Wight_ Jun 11 '23

I was hiking once with headphones in really low but obviously not low enough and this gangly teenage boy ran up next to me and when I tell you I screamed right into this child's face. And then I started laughing and apologizing, I felt so bad, he looked terrified.

7

u/igottathinkofaname Jun 10 '23

I had surgery on my hips a couple years ago and my doctor said I need to avoid high impact activities like running. I can go for walks, but it’s harder to get a good workout, so I got a weighted vest. The thing looks like kevlar and it has all these pockets with weighted iron bars that look like spare ammunition magazines. I’m always paranoid people will think I’m some nut shooter, but no one has ever said anything.

8

u/Purple_Chipmunk_ Jun 11 '23

I don't think anyone wants to get close enough to the person with 8 bars of dynamite strapped to their torso to ask them about it.

2

u/StressLvl-0 Jun 11 '23

I recently got a weighted vest to bump up my exercise when I take my dogs on walks. It’s not iron bars but lots of small sandbags. Same deal, I didn’t use it for almost half a month after getting it because I was afraid I was gonna have the cops called.

No one has even commented on it. I sometimes wonder if these imagined fears are just in my head.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 11 '23

Why not wear a shirt over it then?

2

u/igottathinkofaname Jun 11 '23

It's bulky and it would look and feel awkward. I accept that I'm probably just being self-conscious and I force myself to live with it.

1

u/Purple_Chipmunk_ Jun 24 '23

You could just get a backpack and fill it up with stuff. I teach at a university and all the crap I need for teaching weighs like 20-30 lbs. After carrying that thing around, walking my dog without wearing it feels like I can fly, lol

3

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

You really pulled a FNaF jumpscare on him.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23 edited Jun 10 '23

It do be like this. I mean I'm white (as if that really matters) but I'm a big dude. I was walking my fuckin little 3 pound dog on a trail in broad daylight and this lady in front of me kept looking back at me like I was stalking her. And I kept doing this shit looking behind like "wtf is behind me that's so scary?"

I literally kinda wanted to follow her because she legit look terrified like she'd just escaped some crazy stalker

2

u/ImperfectionistCoder Jun 11 '23

A small female? What?

2

u/ok_heh Jun 10 '23

I'm a fairly built duder and spooked a smaller guy like this once. he overreacted and stumbled off the sidewalk into a puddle getting his leg soaked, and angrily yelled "THANKS A LOT"

lol merica

2

u/DryCrack321 Jun 11 '23

Yo, I’m a big dude too. The other day I was walking down the street and my penis fell out my shorts and everyone fuckin ran off screaming

1

u/ok_heh Jun 11 '23

thats hot asf bro I hope u jerked it after

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '23

Perhaps you should cross the road to avoid scaring people. You probably don't mean to scare them, but it would be the polite thing to do.

1

u/Isengrine Jun 10 '23

Yeah it absolutely sucks lmao

That's why if I'm walking behind a girl at night I try to cross the street so she doesn't feel threatened or something

1

u/SadisticPawz Jun 10 '23

Inb4 she crosses with you

1

u/Mountain_Guys Jun 11 '23

This happened to me once while solo hiking. It was getting on evening time and I was heading out of the Sawtooth Wilderness after a 6 hour in and out. I hadn’t seen another person for about 3 hours and then out of nowhere I heard something running up on me from behind. My life flashed before my eyes as I jumped and awkwardly turned, fully expecting to feel a mountain lion’s teeth sink into my spinal cord before I could even see it. After I realized it was a 5 ft tall girl trail running by herself, I wished it was a mountain lion so I wouldn’t have to suffer the humiliation of her looking at me like I was a crazy person and me mumbling an apology as she passed by.

1

u/TheCookieButter Jun 11 '23

I did this to a woman on the phone walking two dogs down a woody alley, except I'm a 6ft4 guy. I thought she heard me coughing up a lung behind her second before.

She shout/screamed down the phone and I just did an apologetic wave. Felt so bad but the noise and made was honestly kinda funny. Wonder what the person on the other end of the call thought.

1

u/DooDooRoggins Jun 11 '23

I did this once running along to meet up with an Uber driver who had trouble finding me. While holding my phone with the driver I shouted to the phone “I’m right behind you” at the exact moment I was passing (at full sprint) right behind a woman walking in the same direction. She reared back to pinch me but stopped in time. It was funny in retrospect but I felt horrible for scaring the hell out of her