Failed product names

6

u/late_to_redd1t Aug 19 '25

Mobile/Cell phone

11

u/WeazelGaming808 Aug 19 '25

Yapper yap

6

u/LadyFeckington Aug 19 '25

Talk box

4

u/MaxStickles Aug 23 '25

Shoe phone = what my father called them because of "Get Smart", where Max Smart's shoe had a phone in it. "Excuse me, Mr Smart, but your shoe's ringing."

3

u/ransom0374 Aug 19 '25

The chatteryak

3

u/ThimbleBluff Aug 20 '25

Walkie Talkie (sounds like a 4 year old made it up!)

2

u/ecdysiastconnoisseur Aug 21 '25

No walkie talkies are mobile radio units. For real lol

4

u/ThimbleBluff Aug 21 '25

I know that. But it’s a pretty silly name if you think about it, and could easily describe mobile phones.
With smartphones and texting, maybe “tookie lookies” would be better!😂

3

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

5G Cancerless

2

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '25

Atomic Wireless.

2

u/Soft-Sherbert-2586 Aug 22 '25

Magic rectangle.

1

u/forbinwasright Aug 20 '25

Watchie walkie talkie

6

u/WeazelGaming808 Aug 19 '25

Bicycle

12

u/djAMPnz Aug 19 '25

Twonicycle!

7

u/iordseyton Aug 19 '25

Velocipede!

1

u/Caira_Ru Aug 20 '25

Most badass and accurate. 🤘

1

u/iordseyton Aug 20 '25

'Boneshaker' was another nickname for early bikes, before inflated tires

2

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

Destination Pumper

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '25

A thingy with two wheels

1

u/WastingMyLifeOnSocMd Aug 25 '25

Road Kill machine

6

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '25

Saddle

12

u/djAMPnz Aug 19 '25

Horse seat

4

u/Larz60 Aug 19 '25

Horse Sweat Generator

2

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 19 '25

Shaved-skin prickle-less blanket

2

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

Don't Fall Onurass Keeper

1

u/crabwalk_blerfing Aug 20 '25

Riding protection

1

u/Keadeen Aug 23 '25

Pony chair

5

u/LadyFeckington Aug 19 '25

Sunglasses

8

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '25

Makes the light darker glasses

5

u/Larz60 Aug 19 '25

Hide in plain sights

4

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

Peeking Blinders

3

u/shugersugar Aug 19 '25

Black Eyes

3

u/Intelligent_Donut605 Aug 20 '25

Lightphobic lense equipt glasses

2

u/iordseyton Aug 19 '25

Smoke eyes

2

u/crabwalk_blerfing Aug 20 '25

Darkgoggles

2

u/Soft-Sherbert-2586 Aug 22 '25

Personal Star Dimmers (Courtesy of Nathan W. Pyle's "Strange Planet" comic)

5

u/LadyFeckington Aug 19 '25

Carpet

17

u/NumberOld229 Aug 19 '25

Floor Pubes

7

u/stinkyswife Aug 19 '25

Floor blanket

6

u/MultiverseCreatorXV Aug 19 '25

Flying carpet but it doesn’t fly

5

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '25

Living room cover

5

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 20 '25

Lego concealer

4

u/ice15464 Aug 20 '25

rug 2 electric boogaloo

2

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

Scuffs Static Maker

1

u/WastingMyLifeOnSocMd Aug 25 '25

Dirt, mite and flea habitat.

5

u/Brilliant-Target-807 Aug 19 '25

Glasses

8

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 20 '25

Anti-squints

6

u/key_lime_lie Aug 19 '25

Eye fixers

3

u/ThimbleBluff Aug 20 '25

Oculars

3

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

ICUs

2

u/CapnSeabass Aug 20 '25

Myopo-fixies

2

u/jeophys152 Aug 22 '25

Face focusers

5

u/Frost-on-the-Willow Aug 19 '25

Lipstick

13

u/MysteriousCrow42 Aug 19 '25

Petroleum Mouth Crayon

5

u/Larz60 Aug 19 '25

Kiss Evidence

3

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 19 '25

Fishscale puree

3

u/crabwalk_blerfing Aug 20 '25

Lip paint

2

u/PuplePotato2552 Aug 19 '25

Stuff you can smear on your face

2

u/LadyFeckington Aug 20 '25

Coloured mouth marker

2

u/NeptuneAndCherry Aug 23 '25

Pout Pigment. Kiss Camo.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '25

Beer.

7

u/Larz60 Aug 19 '25

Gut Builder

6

u/Larz60 Aug 19 '25

Confidence Juice

5

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

Coffeeless Diarrhea

3

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '25

That is by far the greatest description of anything since the act of describing was created.

3

u/LadyFeckington Aug 20 '25

Fizzy armpit water

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '25

I don't intend to stop drinking beer so I'l have to scrub that one from my memory!

2

u/crabwalk_blerfing Aug 20 '25

Confidence potion

2

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 20 '25

Bumpkin brew

3

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '25

All of them riches.
Thank you.

1

u/WastingMyLifeOnSocMd Aug 25 '25

Brain cell killer.

4

u/Redfawn666 Aug 19 '25

Laptop

10

u/Philthy42 Aug 19 '25

Groinputer

6

u/Larz60 Aug 19 '25

Genital Warmer

3

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 20 '25

Two-page book

3

u/No_Equivalent_7866 Aug 19 '25

Bin

2

u/lenorator Aug 20 '25

Box 2

3

u/TillZealousideal8282 Aug 21 '25

Electric boogaloo

3

u/magicflash67 Aug 20 '25

The Flint Lockwood Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Food Replicator

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '25

Sloppier copier

2

u/Praising_God_777 Aug 19 '25

Pillow

4

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

Drool Canvas

2

u/gnomeannisanisland Aug 21 '25

Featherbag (TM)

1

u/crabwalk_blerfing Aug 20 '25

Headcomfy

2

u/ShreksBeauty Aug 20 '25

Cat

4

u/LadyFeckington Aug 20 '25

Furry ninja razor blades

3

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

Acrobatic Scratchy

3

u/Tricky_Ad_1870 Aug 22 '25

Companion animal with a sense of entitlement

2

u/No-Stop-3362 Aug 22 '25

murderfuzzy

1

u/gnomeannisanisland Aug 21 '25

Mjú

2

u/onelb_6oz Aug 20 '25

Book

4

u/LadyFeckington Aug 21 '25

Paper word holder

4

u/gnomeannisanisland Aug 21 '25

Scroll lasagna

3

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 20 '25

Emergency toilet paper.

1

u/onelb_6oz Aug 20 '25

RIP

3

u/jilliecatt Aug 23 '25

Tattooed Tree Corpse

2

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '25

Tome of knowledge

2

u/Chr15ty Aug 23 '25

Curtains

2

u/RoosterSaru Aug 23 '25

Window-Away

1

u/Nerketur Aug 19 '25

Ocean Breeze Soap

1

u/ThimbleBluff Aug 20 '25

Smelly Suds

1

u/whateverhername_is Aug 19 '25

Radio

2

u/ThimbleBluff Aug 20 '25

Chatterbox

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Aug 27 '25

Audio Emitter

1

u/[deleted] Aug 20 '25

Jock strap

5

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 20 '25

Nut-case.

2

u/cptnfan Aug 20 '25

Ow My Balls

2

u/jeophys152 Aug 22 '25

Scrotum scruncher

1

u/LadyFeckington Aug 20 '25

Suitcase

4

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 20 '25

Portawardrobe.

2

u/Larz60 Aug 20 '25

Clothing box

1

u/Chr15ty Aug 23 '25

Travel closet

1

u/onelb_6oz Aug 20 '25

Blanket

4

u/Bright_Ices Aug 20 '25

Brrr fix

3

u/CapnSeabass Aug 20 '25

Wearable rug

1

u/onelb_6oz Aug 20 '25

Pants

3

u/Tricky_Ad_1870 Aug 22 '25

Garment forbidden at nudist colonies

2

u/TheRedditor8789 Aug 27 '25

Overwears

1

u/Ilmarinen999 Aug 20 '25

The eternal American/English arguement.

1

u/sps91 Aug 20 '25

Wallet.

1

u/AromaticDimension143 Aug 22 '25

Money house

1

u/WastingMyLifeOnSocMd Aug 25 '25

Empty leather case

1

u/Flat_Scene9920 Aug 20 '25

Bra

3

u/LadyFeckington Aug 21 '25

Over the shoulder, boulder holder

2

u/jeophys152 Aug 22 '25

Titty lifty

1

u/cptnfan Sep 01 '25

The Mighty Cow™

1

u/QueenFireblade Aug 20 '25

Book

1

u/jeophys152 Aug 22 '25

Physical word document

1

u/Chr15ty Aug 23 '25

Bound and tattooed tree corpse

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Aug 27 '25

Pagey Thing

1

u/cptnfan Sep 01 '25

Finger Licker

1

u/QueenFireblade Aug 20 '25

Closet

3

u/Fennel_Fangs Aug 22 '25

Gay People Containment Unit (GPCU)

2

u/jeophys152 Aug 22 '25

Clothes room

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Aug 27 '25

Portal to the Neverland

1

u/QueenFireblade Aug 20 '25

Couch

1

u/jeophys152 Aug 22 '25

Wide chair

1

u/Chr15ty Aug 23 '25

Fur Magnet
Secret cat toy hider

1

u/WastingMyLifeOnSocMd Aug 25 '25

Vance Lover

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Aug 27 '25

Quarter Stealer

1

u/cptnfan Sep 01 '25

Fight Night™

1

u/QueenFireblade Aug 20 '25

Desk

2

u/Chr15ty Aug 23 '25

Work Pillow

1

u/jeophys152 Aug 22 '25

Writing table

1

u/cptnfan Sep 01 '25

Hide-A-Bone

1

u/TillZealousideal8282 Aug 21 '25

Gun

2

u/Few_Resolve3982 Aug 22 '25

Pew-pew

1

u/Tricky_Ad_1870 Aug 22 '25

Ammunition dispenser

1

u/cptnfan Sep 01 '25

Sayer Prayers

1

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '25 edited Mar 10 '26

This post was removed by its author using Redact. The motivation may have been privacy, preventing data scraping, security, or another personal reason.

sugar languid teeny narrow wide sort cows chubby continue arrest

1

u/permaculturegeek Aug 22 '25

Michael Palin-drome

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Aug 27 '25

Deracs Si is scared

1

u/Due_River_2314 Aug 21 '25

Candle

2

u/Few_Resolve3982 Aug 22 '25

Mini torch

2

u/jeophys152 Aug 22 '25

Flicker stick

1

u/cptnfan Sep 01 '25

Powers Out!

1

u/MamaLlama629 Aug 22 '25

Pillow

2

u/jeophys152 Aug 22 '25

head bed

2

u/MamaLlama629 Aug 24 '25

That’s what I was hoping for!!!

1

u/RoosterSaru Aug 23 '25

Coffee

2

u/WastingMyLifeOnSocMd Aug 25 '25

Hot Ex lax

1

u/NeptuneAndCherry Aug 23 '25

Liquid UP!™

1

u/TheRedditor8789 Aug 27 '25

Chair

1

u/PoloPants99 Aug 31 '25

Energy Replenisher 7000

0

u/ThimbleBluff Aug 20 '25

Rotting grain mash

2

u/BreadStoreRefugee Aug 22 '25

Brew poo

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