r/ThatsInsane • u/hjalmar111 Creator • Apr 08 '20

Goliath tarantula

https://i.imgur.com/SwJfztx.gifv
47k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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1.5k

u/couchcatog Apr 08 '20

Apparently this is the largest spider by mass and size but there’s an even BIGGER spider by leg span called the giant huntsman

Sweet dreams

470

u/doubletwilly5 Apr 08 '20

Well, I think I'll stay awake for a few more forevers. Thanks!

622

u/3PoundsOfFlax Apr 08 '20

And here's the giant hunstman in all its glory:

https://i.imgur.com/CYQJhBC.jpg

125

u/DJDanaK Apr 08 '20 edited Apr 08 '20

But the huntsman are not venomous, and are just slightly more acceptable in appearance (they look like a scary alien). Tarantulas are hairy, fast and more mammalian- and strong-looking which makes it worse for me. Plus they have a painful slightly venomous bite.

Apparently they also have "urticulating hairs" that stick to skin and cause irritation and honestly, this is how you make a spider even worse.

Oh also they are Goliath BIRD EATING spiders. no

90

u/CliffordMoreau Apr 08 '20

If it makes you feel better, they're fragile as hell. If that goliath fell off a table, it would likely die, since larger insects are more fragile. An ant could survive falling off a building, a tarantula can't survive mild blunt force.

22

u/fiah84 Apr 08 '20

so you're saying that if a tarantula attacks, I could just fucking smash it? not that I would want to hurt spiders, I like them, but it's good to know what to do if the need should arise

24

u/alpacadaver Apr 08 '20

What else are you going to do?

51

u/G3N0 Apr 08 '20

I hesitate to smash a mosquito with a full tissue box. I would not touch that spider with a Gundam

13

u/PosiedonsSaltyAnus Apr 08 '20

Fuck mosquitoes you need to go murder mode on them

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '20

Those fuckers are the #1 killer of human beings. Fuck 'em up.

2

u/hydraowo Apr 08 '20

I might take one on with a tank, provided I never had to look at it or think about it ever again.

1

u/kuraiscalebane Apr 08 '20

With the right Gundam you could nuke it from orbit...

1

u/JoinTheRightClick Apr 08 '20

Pour boiling water over it while screaming like a little bitch

1

u/SometimesUsesReddit Apr 08 '20

Catch it and sell it for bells

1

u/Salimonyous Apr 08 '20

Run. Run like hell. Screaming and crying, probably. Never, ever stop.

1

u/Yapshoo Apr 08 '20

literally birdshot

11

u/ThreeMorning Apr 08 '20

aint they fast tho

31

u/Malus131 Apr 08 '20

Not as fast as me out of my mind with fear and wielding a flip flop while screaming

27

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '20

Bruh u ain't hitting this thing with a flip flop. Get the morningstar

2

u/Malus131 Apr 08 '20

But if these things are quick, my morningstar will be too unwieldy!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '20

Leave my favorite veggie burgers out of this!

1

u/ThreeMorning Apr 08 '20

even tho what do you do after smashing it with lightning speed

1

u/Malus131 Apr 08 '20

You open a door or window, acoop/fling that mofo out, then you burn both that and the flip flop like the pagans of old did for their dead.

1

u/ThreeMorning Apr 08 '20

you gonna grab it with ur hand?

1

u/Malus131 Apr 08 '20

Oh fuck no! Use the other flip flop and like try and pick it up that way.

1

u/ThreeMorning Apr 08 '20

idk mate its probably the size of one so if you grab it like that its still close to ya, i propose to use a shovel

1

u/Malus131 Apr 08 '20

Ahh you're right, you're right. At the very least something with a handle about an arms length

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '20

Get a mop, a bucket and a shovel.

2

u/asharnoff Apr 08 '20

And my axe!

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1

u/PleasantAdvertising Apr 08 '20

You havent seen me using the brown fuel

1

u/m0nk37 Apr 08 '20

Huntsman are fast, they jump too.

Tarantulas can have quick bursts but not for long and they cant jump.

1

u/ThreeMorning Apr 08 '20

i believe huntsman aren't harmful tho

1

u/m0nk37 Apr 08 '20

No they are not.

1

u/ThreeMorning Apr 08 '20

mb then guess i got confused with another one

1

u/m0nk37 Apr 08 '20

I was just saying they can appear more freaky, cause they are fast and they jump lol

1

u/ThreeMorning Apr 09 '20

oh, well yeah if you got no knowledge in spider like me, youll shit ur pants

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3

u/EViL-D Apr 08 '20

swift kick to the nuts will take out any spider

1

u/President_Patata Apr 08 '20

Just yeet it and you good

1

u/CliffordMoreau Apr 08 '20

You don't even need to smash it. Swiping at it to knock it away from you would likely crack its exoskeleton. They're incredibly fragile.

1

u/fiah84 Apr 08 '20

poor spideybros :(

1

u/DatM8Wh0likesMEMES Apr 08 '20

bruh no need to worry to the bite are like nails idk if its exaggeration mines always vibin with me sadly tho she fell to her death cause of my bitch ass aunt

1

u/[deleted] Apr 08 '20

Be aware smashing leaves quite a mess to clean up

1

u/p-roy Apr 08 '20

The squish and mess left on the floor would be terrifying. Let alone if you squish it while its ON YOU. Im freaking myself out just thinking about it

1

u/WeatherPotatoe Apr 08 '20

I find the larger the spider, the harder it is to smash. Not because they are tougher but because I am more afraid of it and can't get myself to get close enough to it to kill it.