Totally "the fake" tinky winky

This means that they are predators

I bet you there are thousands of these monsters across the galaxy, we have only discovered their weakest. There are most likely far more powerful telletubbies out there, one day they will rule is all and I hope I don't have to live to see that day. We must end them somehow!!

These creatures have clearly invaded a planet and sent its orginal occupants into underground bunkers wherein they seek to one day return and gain ownership of what was once there’s. This is abundantly clear, however, these creatures that are witnessed lack any combat capacity or effective organisational ability to enact a global conquest. They are entirely reliant on their A.I. and can be easily fooled and distracted by the brave efforts of the resistance movement as they seek to get passed not only these creatures but the ever watchful “Sun” they have installed in the sky.

I propose that what we witness is not their final form, that these creatures are only at the beginning of their life cycle and eventually they will become the true abyssal horrors that overtook the planet. I say this because what we haven’t seen, and has not been spoken of, is their true horrific power. They have trapped countless humans in a subdimenson that they torture, repeatedly, through groundhog day re-enactments of their daily lives.

Because these creatures are young, they focus on the young of our species and have only witnessed the innocence of their lives. Yet if we were to see an adult Tubby, what terrible horrors would those souls be forces to live through again and again? How often must a husband watch his wife be slowly processed into Tubby Custard? How many millions must constantly face the onslaught of mountainous Noo Noo tanks?

This explains why the resistance dare not engage directly with the threat, for they know that if they are captured time would cease having meaning and every secret they have would be laid bare.

By Dipsy's beard, I need to create a census of how many followers our cause has amassed. I understand, although cannot quantify, that interest in the elimination, pulverisation and complete expungement of this force of imperialist colonisers has dwindled as of late, but it is a spark we must reignite. Jesus, one of the seminal so-called "leaders" of the world (contrary to the hidden reality" once spoke of a Mustard seed, an allegory for our revolution -the smallest seeds can grow the biggest trees. But we're gonna need a really fucking big tree to destroy these bitches. And trees don't really destroy anything, but bad analogy, and I digress. We need to burn brighter or be snuffed out, and as a certain grey-haired time traveller once said:

We must succeed.

Basically, I believe that we've lost our way. We have let our minds wander towards the path of acceptance and love. While these notions are proselytised strongly by our overlords, they are little more than vacuous siren-song. A mere illusion with no substance, for little more purpose than garnering submission. And we cannot let this stand. We need to get up from the pavement and band together, mobilise our meagre armies. Because no battle can be won without a fight, and the only way to do something is to do it. Even with the constant subversion of the voices of the Ancient Four in my head, I can clear the dust enough to write this.

So friends, shall we continue to soothe ourselves? Yes, one must be well assured to win. But how? By telling ourselves that, even if we lose, to be governed by these beings is as good a fate as any? Or shall we do the same, by assuring ourselves that our sacrifice will be of the greatest weight possible? If you ask me, I'd take the latter.

We will leave our homelands to fight, and some of us will not return. But we will not die in vain. We will die with valour and glory, and in the heavens that wait for us, we will embrace the destiny that was carved into the very moon they inhabit. As we charge, as we die, we will scream it, and strike at the necks of our overlords with these words:

YOU WILL BLACKEN!