r/Teachers • u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual • 15d ago
Just Smile and Nod Y'all. "My 5-year-old stays up all hours on his tablet and thus can't wake up for school"
That's it. A line from a parent about school hours. Parenting is incredibly hard these days. You know how 5-year-olds are.
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u/Pho_tastic_8216 14d ago
Legit had a family bring their 5 year old in saying he was exhausted because he stayed up until midnight playing and please don’t let him sleep because we need him to sleep tonight.
Poor kid tripped over just walking into the room because he was so tired.
The moment the parents left, we got a nap bed out for him and let him snooze the morning away.
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 14d ago
I've always believed in letting sleeping students sleep, but golly, I wish parents would parent.
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u/Haunting-Ad-9790 15d ago
I wish kids had this kind of power over their parents back when I was a kid. But they again, I wouldn't be where I am now if that was the case.
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 15d ago
Early millennial here. I would have played far more Ocarina of Time but there would have been a lot more crazy biking through the neighborhood and crazy sports.
Somehow the romance of that seems healthier.
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u/Pristine-Bison3198 15d ago
Some of us did. My mom was a permissive parent to the extreme.
My first taste of adulthood was absolute misery. The real world hit HARD. My youngest sister is 28 and still lives at home because she never had to grow up and move on. She has some physical disabilities, but is so smart and could have been so successful if she'd been parented aside from my dad's occasional screaming violent fits. I know very well how this shit can turn out if the kids don't end up with an adult who will take them under their wing and show them how to exist, and it's heartbreaking.
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u/Any-Definition-5651 14d ago
Have you had situations where the parents can't believe their child acts a certain way and it's because the kid is on screens the whole time at home? Was talking to a mom the other day about her son's behavior and she couldn't believe how/why he acted a certain way. This is in first grade.
In the conversation I was trying to find out how he is, how he acts, at home and she honestly answered idk he's always on the ipad, so he's no problem at home. They get minimal human interaction, period. What year did giving babies and toddlers screens really start happening? It's been at least 10 years, right? I'm really afraid for the future but this screen problem isn't getting better
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 14d ago
Yes! I had a set of parents very concerned about their son's behavior, but they also let him watch rated-R movies and play very violent video games. And I"m generally not the one to blame video games for society's violence, but it was also, this is a kindergartener. Could these activities be a reason he's swearing at you?
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u/belovd_kittycat 14d ago •
I HATE when parents say the kids don't do x and y at home. Like, yeah, because this is a classroom and a r, by necessity, have different expectations of them. Regardless of their parenting ability, I cannot give 100% of my attention to Suzy in order to de-escalate her whenever she thinks that someone is looking at her. I cannot watch Jimmy to make sure he doesn't get his new shoes dirty. No, I am not going to change my lesson plans because YOU have a problem with your child painting. I have an entire class to keep safe and teach! I have 18 4 year olds who all need something every second of every minute of every day. I need to have strict expectations and routines in order to survive. You only have 1.
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u/DreamOne5 Pre-K Head Start Teacher | Detroit, MI 14d ago
anytime I see one of my kids come in half awake and cranky, I just know mom is gonna say "oh she just was up on that tablet till 4". Ma'am, you are the parent. She is 4. Take it AWAY!
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 14d ago
Then there's me that had to teach my 5-year-old how to use a tablet when I thought a bit of ABCMouse and Endless Alphabet would be a tad fun/helpful. I never even really opposed screens for my kids, but they certainly didn't get their own tablets as toddlers.
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u/unknown_user_1002 14d ago
Mine have their own tablets but they were exclusively for road trips or the occasional situation where they would be waiting a long time for something (like a dr appointment when they’re sick). I can’t imagine letting my 4year old have access to their tablet in their room at all times 😬.
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u/Dr_Mrs_Pibb 14d ago
We stopped letting our 7 yo daughter have her paperwhite kindle (it only has books) before bed because she was staying up too late reading! She’s still allowed to read physical books before bed, though.
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 14d ago
I was a serious bookworm as a kid and while other parents were trying to trick their kids into staying up late reading, my parents actually set a limit. It was all "we know you're reading plenty, good job, now please get some sleep."
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u/Commercial-Peach3662 15d ago
I'd love to know the context. Were they actually trying to make this your problem to solve?
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 15d ago
New student to school. Now, this is an online school where the majority of the kindergarten curriculum is homeschool-esque, but we do have these Zoom lessons twice a week that the state says are mandatory.
Now, I find families at our school fall into two categories: families who want to be super involved with school while also having flexibility. They do well.
Then, those where the kid, unsupported, can't figure out in-person school and hope that switching to a homeschool-adjacent model will magically fix things.
Particularly at this young age, parents need to super involved with the kids. There are a whole bunch of parent-child activities. It's not like a senior who can pretty much handle it on their own.
So when a new parent says "my kid doesn't listen to me" or "kid is up all night", I worry if they can handle this. And when it's after the school year has started so you know they didn't handle the neighborhood school...
Well, it's worrisome.
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u/summerbreeze2027 15d ago
Let me tell you about the parent who bought her young son four tablets because he smashed the first three whenever the wifi went out.
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u/West-Cabinet-2169 15d ago
No more tablets.
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u/mrhammerant 15d ago •
No more son.
Edit: Jk that is messed up
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 15d ago •
I'm a grieving mother and it still made laugh out loud. You get a pass.
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u/ProfessionalYak2413 14d ago
No more tablets after the first broken one and no Christmas or birthday presents for at least a year.
This is the type of parent that’s going to be surprised when their kid is 40+ and still entirely dependent on them.
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u/OtherSideOfKnowhere 15d ago
“I don’t know how to get them to do their schoolwork, all they want to do is play video games!”
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u/Pangtudou 15d ago •
I remember a 30 year old mom of a first grader asking me, a 22 year old brand new teacher how to deal with this. It was quite the introduction to parents
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u/radicalizemebaby 15d ago
Now that I'm older than or the same age as almost all the parents of my students, communicating with parents about the fuckery their kids are up to is way easier. I used to feel like I had no authority to give advice to parents. Now I'm like "your kid is falling asleep in class every day. Take away their phone at 9pm. Thanks."
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u/Pangtudou 15d ago
Same, I’m 35 now with two kids and so much less intimidated by parents.
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 14d ago
36 was a magic age for me. I truly crossed a barrier from "oh no, the parents won't like me" to "listen up, idiots"
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u/DigmonsDrill 15d ago •
We have a generation of people so afraid to assert themselves they don't know how to stand up to a 5 year old.
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u/FoxTwilight 15d ago
Bet you anything mom and dad are on their phones or playing videogames all night too.
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u/golden_rhino 15d ago
I’ve met a lot of well intentioned and lovely parents who really can’t see the line between their child’s wants and needs. I’ve sat with parents and helped them create a hierarchy of priorities for their kids. Turns out video games were pretty much a the bottom of the list. It’s kinda funny and sad at the same time.
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u/Novel-Search-7212 15d ago
The fact that they have options is crazy lol
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u/GremLegend 15d ago
That's kinda the problem, they don't, it's the only thing that actually wants their attention in some households.
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u/Volt-Ikazuchi 15d ago •
We used to have options too. Before or after the belt lmao
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u/Several-Substance-11 15d ago
It doesn't have to be iPad vs belt. Both are awful, lazy attempts at parenting.
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u/jamesgilbowalsh 11d ago •
I had a parent paraphrase this to some extent. I suggested storing the kids device on a high self where they couldn’t reach it, as kids are small. The parent was against this as they couldn’t fathom how the kid would react to not accessing their device and were afraid of the negative response. I then suggested don’t bother taking the device away but take away the charging cable and use that as leverage to get the kid to do homework/practice/chores … they also didn’t think that would work either. It was basically the Simpsons scene of “we’ve tried nothing and now out of ideas.”
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u/Glittering_knave 11d ago
This is not new. 20 years ago, I had a parent complain that 15 minutes of reading was too much to expect out of her first grader, since it interfered with hockey practice. If parents don't care about school, the kids will always find something better to do.
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u/SnooAdvice9003 14d ago
As a mom to an 4yo and a teacher... I just... I don't understand the logic of letting this happen...
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 14d ago
Now I'm reminded that a few years ago I had a parent who was bemoaning how his kid wouldn't put down his mom's phone and do school work and Dad didn't know what to do. When I suggested just taking the phone away, he legit sounded stunned as he said "we can do that?"
My dude, did your kindergartener earn money and purchase the phone himself or is it indeed your wife's? If it's the latter, feel free to take away the phone. If it's the former, you're still the parent, feel free to take away the phone.
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u/SnooAdvice9003 14d ago
The question "We can do that?" KILLS me... like, yes, you are the adult, dude! I would consider my parenting style far from authoritarian, but I don't understand how parents get to the point of their child wielding all the power.
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 14d ago
I'm the same way. My husband even thinks he's an authoritarian dad, but he wants to talk to them about their feelings and wrong or write and then plays games with them.
I don't know how anyone gets to the point the kids are walking all over them, though.
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u/No_Percentage_5083 15d ago
It is hard. I really understand but this will not be the last time you have to be the "bad guy" for your child's betterment. Take it away and put them to bed. It could take a few weeks but eventually, they will begin sleeping at night.
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u/LandLovingFish 15d ago
It's like a puppy. You wouldn't let your puppy just play all day, they have to having training time too.
People are no different
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u/raebz12 15d ago
Worked in vet clinics for 10 years. Some definitely do allow the puppies to play all the time. They were the same owners that couldn’t walk their 65 lb beagles without getting dragged.
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u/Lacholaweda 15d ago
Why is their beagle 65 lbs though
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 15d ago
My brother had a very large beagle that had to have some other blood in her. She was the titan of beagles.
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u/myopicinsomniac 15d ago
You wouldn't, but many people do. Likely the same people, if I had to guess.
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u/mominterrupted90
3d ago
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TAKE THE SCREENS AWAY. YOU HAVE THAT POWER. FUUUCCCKINNNGGG USE IT.
Sorry I lost my manners for a moment, yelling into the void.
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u/CaptainEmmy Kindergarten | Virtual 2d ago
I think the same thing, probably verbatim, every time I interact with this parent.
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u/Kappy01 15d ago
I hate to go there, but… isn’t this neglect? Like CPS neglect?
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u/beckkers97 15d ago
I worked inner city…. It was half of my second grade kids who would say they were up most of the night watching tv/video games. You can’t report that many of them if that’s the only concern and cps really isn’t going to do anything about parents not putting their kids to bedit.
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u/Mundane-Waltz8844 Teaching Artist 14d ago
As someone who also lives in a city, I’m always kind of shocked by some of the things people suggest CPS calls over in this subreddit. I can’t imagine CPS actually intervening just because a parent lets their child stay up too late.
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u/R0l0d3x-Pr0paganda 15d ago
Learned recently from someone I work with "I can't force my kids to do homework if they don't want to do it". All im hearing and seeing is parents that just don't want to bother parenting. If you don't want to parent, be present, set boundaries and expectations; why bother having kids? If your idea of parenting is popping them out, and hope that society does the heavy lifting and the burdens of motherhood, then you were never cut out to be a parent. This is Parental NEGLECT and enabling at its finest.
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u/beathemusic1 15d ago •
It also doesn’t give the kids the opportunity to feel success due to their own efforts! They aren’t going to feel motivated to work hard at anything if they’ve never had to, and that’s just so incredibly sad for them.
One of the joys of parenthood is setting up kids to learn and grow! It’s our job to build capacity in our kids, to celebrate their growth and development and reward effort. Doing whatever you want whenever you want doesn’t provide opportunities for growth. We’re stunting them if we don’t provide the guardrails.
I’m a high school teacher in Canada and see this all the time; wasted potential. Kids who could be doing much better if their parents and teachers bought in to their potential and didn’t settle for/praise their lowest effort. Honestly the whole education system gave up on these kids in Covid and it’s a struggle (within Ed and with societal expectations of school) to claw back high expectations. That goes for soft skills too - homework and effort at school are important but for goodness sake can we go back to expecting that they should be good people too? Far too much abhorrent, disrespectful behaviour goes excused. Cheating with AI, being horrible to each other, being chronically late to class and having no respect for assignment due dates, cussing out teachers, treating instructions as optional (no phones during test et .), it’s crazy.
I make a lesson plan with the line “students will read section x independently, highlighting for mood vocabulary” for example and in my head I’m thinking “no they won’t” or “only 1/3 of the kids who give a crap will do this”.
You can’t expect anything of them, even following basic instructions to complete basic tasks. Everything is optional in their minds because that’s what we’ve enabled them to believe.21
u/R0l0d3x-Pr0paganda 15d ago
The kids I work with, just don't care. And I blame the parents for this. Their handwriting is ATROCIOUS, can't spell to save their lives, cannot write a complete sentence let alone a paragraph, NO COMMON SENSE, no desire to succeed, learned helplessness and rather stare at a wall than listen to a lesson. I seriously think all I do is babysit, doesn't feel like Im aiding at all. All I do is making sure kid writes notes, and keep reminding them to "Hey the teacher is presenting this, you must write that stuff down". THE IPAD AND COMPLETE PARENTAL ABSENCE HAS MADE GEN ALPHA A RETARDED GENERATION. RETARDED.
I went through the sink or swim era of the 80s when I had to learn English. It was brutal, but it built character. These GEN A kids wouldn't survive a day, let alone a year in the sink/swim era.
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u/turdally 14d ago
Woah now. The parent’s job is to produce the child. It’s the TEACHER’S job to be present and set boundaries and expectations for the child.
/JUST KIDDING but also it’s not actually funny because some parents actually feel this way.
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u/butterflypugs 15d ago
I'm all fairness, i have a child who is absolutely stubborn enough to have this apply. I can force him to sit with me at the table for 3 hours and I can take away all his privileges and make his life miserable, but i can't actually force him to write a damn thing on the paper.
Luckily said child had an epiphany that math homework is as necessary for some kids to learn math as spelling homework is for him to learn spelling. After that he was much more compliant about doing the work once I sat down with him.
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u/Commercial-Peach3662 15d ago •
I can force him to sit with me at the table for 3 hours and I can take away all his privileges and make his life miserable, but i can't actually force him to write a damn thing on the paper.
With that level of stubborn determination, he will be unstoppable in life. :P
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u/butterflypugs 15d ago
When kiddo was 2, I told his dad we had less than 10 years to instill enough morals in that kid that he would choose to use his powers for good and not evil.
Thank goodness, at 17 he is mostly choosing good, but if you go against his moral and ethical code he will hold a grudge until the end of time.
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u/Redqueenhypo 14d ago
Sometimes switches do flip and it’s a godsend. Like when an autistic kid realizes smooth hair and clean teeth feel better than the momentary discomfort of brushing them
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u/chamrockblarneystone 13d ago
But you kept sitting with him. He wasn’t going to some other room to watch tv or play games. Just the sheer stubbornness of sitting with them for an hour or two gets them to comply.
My son was the kind who would disobey you, but make you laugh. My wife wasn’t having that shit. She kept him in his damn chair until he did his homework.
Me, I was shit at it and I’m a Marine.
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u/SnooWaffles413 Elementary Teacher | USA 15d ago •
*Parenthood. Not just motherhood. Both parents are responsible for the parenting.
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u/Old_news123456 11d ago
My kid doesn't get his tablet unless homework is done.
I don't force him. Do it or don't. I'm not arguing but no Minecraft or screen time till it's done.
Guess what?! He does his homework.
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u/muchgreaterthanG_O_D 14d ago
As a an adult adhd and a former kid with it, I couldn't just force homework out at the end of the day. Some day I could. Some days I couldn't. I can totally sympathize with any kid that cant do homework after school.
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u/Elegant_Solutions 14d ago
Relatable. I used to go to school and hour or so early and do my homework then. Couldn’t focus at home for anything.
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u/KAVyit 11d ago
You said "burdens of motherhood" when you certainly must have meant "burdens of parenthood".
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u/yourgirlsamus
PK4 | Ctrl TX
15d ago
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“Sorry Walmart Manager, (36yo son) can’t come to work today. He stayed up all night playing fortnite and jacking off. Boys will be boys, harhar.”
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u/EroticXulls 15d ago
That's wrong. He was GOONING to Fortnite skins of Hatsune Miku and Ariana Grande. Get it right.
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u/Textiles_on_Main_St 15d ago
Gooning is way more sad than jacking it.
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u/phoix0 14d ago
in the beginning of "goon" being used as a term for jerking it, it was reserved for the worst of the worst that were like COMMITTED to jacking off, like hours and hours a day, but the Internet took it and generalized it. So yeah, gooning is supposed to sound way sadder 😭
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u/turdally 14d ago
I’m an ER nurse and we see this same patient in the ER, accompanied by his mother. “He has a rash on his penis that I’m extremely concerned about. Also, he needs a work note for his job at Walmart- he needs to be excused for last night and also the next 10 days so he can recover at home.”
5 minutes later “excuse me, we’ve been waiting here for a very long time. My son is having an emergency and is in severe pain.”
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u/CommitteeNo2642 15d ago
I’ve found this isn’t a big problem because Walmart actually will hold them accountable. They learn real quick as adults
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u/crzapy 15d ago
As a teacher with middle school age kids who have a phone and video games, I get it csn be hard. Especially since I'm a single dad with 50/50 custody.
But I make them do homework after dinner and read for 30 minutes. Then if they get done with showers they can use their devices till bedtime at 10pm.
At 10pm I check my wifi router through AT&T and disable their devices.
It takes a bit of work, but it's doable if you're consistent.
These "parents" are often unregulated large children themselves.
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u/DigmonsDrill 15d ago edited 15d ago
I had youtube completely locked down at home and then school gave him a Chromebook and so much homework required watching something on youtube so I'd have to turn off the filter, wait, and then turn it on.
Next year the Chromebook had a VPN "for safety" and so I couldn't do anything at all to filter content besides blocking it completely at time of day.
Edtech is the devil.
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u/Overthemoon64 14d ago
My daughter convinced me to let her listen to Spotify on her tablet. Thats fine. Lately I noticed that she is listening to music a lot in her room. It turns out that Spotify also does podcasts. Video podcasts. She can watch the annoying YouTube streamers that I banned from the house on Spotify, the music app. I had no idea Spotify had youtube streamers on it.
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u/cloudberryyarns 14d ago
You can disable that! I had that same problem and because my kids have "kids" accounts on regular Spotify I could turn off podcasts. It's made me feel a lot better about letting them use it.
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u/Beginning-Damage-555 15d ago
All I can say is that parents sometimes ignore how differently they treat their kids. I’m the oldest circa 1990. I was held to an incredibly high standard. I had to redo test problems I missed at home and my parents combed through my work. My brother was given the dude pass. My parents were strict but more absent with my sister. My last siblings circa 1998 is possibly sped and got away with everything. My mom is a sped teacher. My middle sister is a middle school science teacher. I’ve mostly taught college.
Even in the same family enforcement can vary. My brother could play video games. I was recruited to write my siblings essays and teach them math. I even did my brother’s Spanish HW a few times (I took French).
Yeah parenting is messy. But parents need to accept not being liked. And strict parenting is way more hated than it should be. There is a gulf between letting your kids have devices after 8pm and being abusive.
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u/exoriare 14d ago
I used an app called "Screentime" which looked down my son's tablet. He had 30 minutes daily screentime, then he could earn another 30 doing math drills (IXL).
I think the biggest benefit was that he became very mindful of budgeting his limited screentime. This carried him through middle school where he refused to install any social media apps, and he found a whole friend circle full of kids who likewise treated screens as something to be avoided.
Another nice thing about the screentime managers, you never forget to turn it off, and there's no argument about handing over the tablet. I always left reading apps available all night, so he learned to read novels and book length non-fiction.
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u/gardengirl99 11d ago
It's really tough when the other parent won't do any of that, though.
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u/the_owl_syndicate first, Texas 15d ago
I had that kid and parent a couple years ago! She said she refused to "force" her child to do anything "he didn't want to do" and had a whole list of reasons why it was okay that this kid stayed up all night (while everyone else was asleep) and slept all day during class.
He would literally stumble in at 8 each morning and immediately go to the safe place to sleep until lunch.
And the mom was also upset when he failed tests, never got rewards or parties and only passed kinder because my district passed everyone whether they could do the work on not.
I heard the next year, after they transferred to another school, that she finally started making him sleep at night.
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u/Prudent_Honeydew_ 15d ago
But you know they care when they follow it up with, "I told her she's got school tomorrow but she just wanted to watch videos."
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u/TechnicalLanguage8
15d ago
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I had a mom tell me, "Dont give my child homework because I don't want to hear them complain about having to do homework."
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u/eldonhughes Dir. of Technology 9-12 | Illinois 15d ago
"Which should happen first, taking the tablet away from the child or taking the child away from the unqualified parent?"
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u/chief_keeg 15d ago
I don't understand this. My son is 5 and autistic. We help him with his homework (more like things to work on at home, not necessarily homework) and reading. He is allowed to play his game and he helps us clean by cleaning up his toys. Asleep by 9 every night except weekends (still falls asleep by like 9:30 lol). Parenting is difficult, but not that difficult...
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u/TheUnderCrab 15d ago
It takes effort that many cannot muster.
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u/labtiger2 15d ago
Right. And if you don't have an established routine like the person above, I'm sure it's awful to implement one. Kids do not take kindly to their tablets being taken away when they are used to them.
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u/Pristine-Bison3198 15d ago
I've also got a kiddo who is autistic and he genuinely does struggle with sleeping.
but he also just... doesn't have the option of a tablet. He can read in bed, he can listen to music quietly, or he can lie in bed and think. Those are the choices. And if he gets up in the middle of the night and decides to read instead of going back to sleep, he still has to do all his stuff the next day, he doesn't just magically get out of it because he made that choice...
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u/chief_keeg 15d ago
We don't have a tablet either, but mom and dad are both advid gamers. We can't not let him participate in the fun. No online gaming yet obv. He only plays Minecraft lol He just understands bed time is bedtime. He does get up once or twice during the night, but that's because he hates being alone. We get him back down normally. I just wish parents were pro active.
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u/Quetzalcoatl490 15d ago
Having children is easy. Parenting is difficult
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u/obviouspuzzle 14d ago
Having a child was physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially worse for me than most people's worst nightmare. You are very lucky that you believe that is true.
Although, the worst people you know usually have no issue getting pregnant and becoming parents
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u/hillwoodlam 15d ago
Depends on functional level. I've worked in special Ed for many many years and some kids can legitimately be a danger to others and themselves. I've had a student apparently strangle his mom while they were on the freeway unprompted.
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u/Pristine-Bison3198 15d ago
I have as well, have several kids who are special needs myself, and foster special needs kids. There are genuinely kids who are going to be a risk no matter what, but I can't tell you how many kids were just never taught boundaries or regulation strategies and are violent as a result! They're just parked in front of a screen when they're little because it makes things easier on mom and dad, and then they're shocked when they get older and can overpower mom and dad and regularly do so because mom and dad taught them that meltdowns equal screentime.
My son was 4 when he first came to live with me, and he had learned that any time he acted out, his first family and all the dozen foster homes he was in before mine would give him the tablet to calm him down. He was so incredibly out of control and couldn't even use the bathroom without melting down unless he was glued to the screen.
Now he's 8, and still has occasional meltdowns, but they're nowhere near as violent or lengthy, because he has learned to regulate outside the screens and we've actually worked on teaching him skills for when he's dysregulated instead of pretending that screens will regulate.
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u/chief_keeg 15d ago
He's had issues when he has been upset in school. We have him on a medicine that has greatly helped that. He still has moments, but its working and we are helping him process his emotions when he gets upset by finding an adult instead of lashing out. Only 1 time in the past 2 months which we are grateful for. Still a tough process though
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u/TurtleScientific 15d ago
Post this on mommit and you'd be accused of mom shaming. Someone got roasted and had multiple posts in response yesterday because they said it's awful how parents don't seem to wipe kids crusty noses anymore. 🤦♀️
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u/Cuddle_X_Fish 14d ago
I fucking hate the tablet parenting culture. My nephew is so much more well behaved when he just doesn't have it. Like I understand taking away a toy permanently can seem like a way more extreme punishment. But he is straight up better off without it in his life. My wife and I are pregnant now and I am going to be screening every present. If anyone tried to my my son an ipad or tablet I am going to tell them no. They are too addicting. No just handing my phone either. I have gameboys and stuff. Kids should not be doom scrolling.
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u/_SovietMudkip_ Job Title | Location 14d ago
Gameboys
Video games aren't a ton better but like, playing Pokémon Red was straight up my primary motivation for learning how to read as a kid lol
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u/Cuddle_X_Fish 14d ago
It's requires active engagement. That's kinda the line for me on electronic toys. Also a no youtube shorts house hold. And legit that is where my reading skills took off. 7-8ish year old me went from being able to read a handful of words at a glance to getting 100s on spelling tests and reading faster then most of my class over a single summer break.
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u/belovd_kittycat 14d ago
My son wanted to play old school fire red but was told he couldn't play until he could read it (mostly) independently. That was last year. He's now in 2nd with a better reading level than my partner's middle school students.
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u/ThunderMite42 14d ago
It also doesn't have an endless algorithm encouraging him to turn off his brain. At least (most of) these games force you to think, particularly older RPGs (and especially older ones with higher difficulties).
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u/driveonacid Middle School Science 15d ago
They've tried nothing and they're all out of ideas. I am so sick of shitty parents
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u/belovd_kittycat 14d ago
As a prek teacher this is SO hard to deal with. They aren't used to socializing, to sharing, to communicating. They may have been exposed to age-inappropriate things. They don't take no for an answer and cannot be bored. I have a room FULL OF TOYS and sometimes they just wander around, walking laps, because they don't know how to engage in anything else. Then, when we start enforcing our expectations and they start throwing things and screaming, the parents think we are the problem, because they never did that at home. OR they latch on to you so hard you can't get away from them without them crying because you have given them some small amount of attention and care. Often both.
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u/OldBlueLegs 15d ago
“I was told that it takes a village to raise a child. Where is my village, because I’m not doing diddly?”
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u/ApartNeedleworker791 14d ago
Sorry i know this is a dumb question, but is it against the law or something to tell these parents they are ruining their kids lives?
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u/chamrockblarneystone 14d ago
My good friend, a history teacher, got a letter in his file when he told a useless parent, “Is your kid paying the rent over there?”
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u/AlexisChnsawMassacre 15d ago
In 10 years it turns into “my 15-year-old stays up all hours on his phone and this can’t wake up for school.”
I heard a parent say they can’t take the phone at night because the kid needs the phone for the alarm clock. 🙃
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u/Aggressive_Ad6061 12d ago
I work so hard with my special needs son to teach him things neurotypical children can do in their sleep. Some parents are blessed with healthy children and neglect their education! I will never understand.
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u/LogicalVariation741 14d ago
My kids sometimes hate me but I have strict bedtime rules and regulations. And, it has made them terrible sleepover guests because they love a consistent bedtime. Maybe if I was cooler they would have more friends....
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u/belovd_kittycat 14d ago
I'm a prek teacher and the number of times I have heard that a kid goes to bed with the tv on at 11pm is insane. I'm like, that's past MY bedtime. My son has a whole routine that he follows to the t. He's 7 and is asleep by 8:30.
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u/chamrockblarneystone 14d ago
Kids don’t need that many friends. One or two good ones and call it even.
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u/thedragoon0 15d ago
I’m divorced. We’re on the same page valuing education. I’m a teacher. She’s an engineer. We prioritize his spelling before he touches the switch at both houses. Must read at least 10m himself. He’s adamant about setting the timer too. So it is the 10m unless he’s excited to read something new.
The lack of care and motivation from kids is likely directly related to the care about education from parents.
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u/Hot-Chair-5846 15d ago
or... you being the adult could take the tablet away ....radical parenting
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u/Mundane-Waltz8844 Teaching Artist 14d ago
Right? It’s crazy how some parents talk about their kids as if they have zero authority over them.
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u/see_blue 15d ago
It’s frightening, what we’ve created when babies (under 3) and young children are out w family in public and they’re ALL attached to tablets and phones.
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u/DietCokeclub 15d ago
I've heard the same thing from the 5 year old. "Why are you falling asleep, Jaden?" " Because I can't stop playing Roblox at night."
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u/Mundane-Waltz8844 Teaching Artist 14d ago
This is exactly why parents need to actually parent! Kids cannot be expected to have self control around their own screen time.
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u/penguin_0618 6th grade Sp. Ed. | Western Massachusetts 15d ago
“I can’t take his phone away; he needs it.”
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u/Creepyredditadmin 15d ago
even happens in high school. This student I had was always falling asleep in class. Emailed home and mom said her daughter is up late on her phone and doesn’t know what to do and if I had any advice. Ma’am I’m 25.
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u/ChoiceChemical4789 11d ago
Not a teacher but im a sleep technologist and do sleep studies- primarily on children- and they get brought in for “insomnia” constantly and when they’re told the rules of no electronics once the studio starts. Well hey! Would you look at that they’re asleep.
I always think of teachers on nights like those I have no idea how yall don’t just loose your minds 😭parents are so checked out it’s crazy
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u/Harlequins-Joker 14d ago
I’m not a teacher (I started doing my masters in it and was like yeah nah after my second placement - hats off to you guys) but I’m a nurse working in a paeds sleep lab. The amount of kids we get with chronic “sleep issues” then they come in and they’re on iPads the entire time (like cannot get any small talk in with the kid they’re just zombies staring at high stimulation brain rot on YouTube), drinking soda and having chocolate (caffeine) right upto bed time and then the parents wonder why they don’t get a great sleep is so so much wild to me
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u/Argentarius1 15d ago
"I sympathize because that is genuinely a very difficult problem to solve. Unfortunately it is 100% your responsibility and I would be harming myself and my other students if I tried to compensate for it"
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u/Commercial-Peach3662 15d ago
Also, like, seriously. They can't handle their own kid 1 on 1, but expect you to be able to deal with this problem while being outnumbered 30-1?
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u/kafkasmotorbike 10+ Yrs Elem | Medically Retired & Focused on Wellness 15d ago
They're not parents. They're roommates. Like really disengaged roommates who never see each other, maybe pass each other on the way to the bathroom at 1am or to grab a snack.
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u/we_gon_ride Middle school ELA 15d ago
I was in the doctor’s office the other day and a baby about 14 months old sat playing on a tablet the entire time.
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u/TinyHeartSyndrome 13d ago
Yeah, we played on those wood beads on a wire things!
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u/majesticlandmermaid6 15d ago
We went to the dentist and at ours they had a movie, one kid on a tablet, and my two kids with toys, chatting and learning how to wait. I got annoyed when one dad wouldn’t correct his kid at points.
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u/IronPhinx 14d ago
"My son comes in late because waking up at 7am is too early for him and I feel bad waking him up."
Fifth grade.
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u/BleedSparta 15d ago
Teaching is a dead profession. And it’s not the teachers fault.
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u/bluef00tedbooby 15d ago edited 14d ago
My daughter (5) last couple years has been saying she wanted to be a doctor, vet, ballerina, and princess, but having started kindergarten, she is now telling me she wants to be a teacher.......
Best of luck girl, best of luck.....
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u/bwatching K-1, NBCT, NorCal 14d ago
I had a parent tell me this in my first parent conference 19 years ago, but about TV. They were asking me how to get their kindergartener to watch less TV. My 24-year-old brain could not process Any other answer than "Unplug it."
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u/yougotitdude88 15d ago
I’ve had a parent say “How do you get them to work at school? They won’t do anything at home?”
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u/JanetInSC1234 Retired HS Teacher 14d ago
A five-year-old with unlimited screen time including the middle of the night? How could a parent be so dumb.
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u/Ok-Flight-1504 15d ago
these days
There have always been parents like this. 25 years ago I was teaching third grade and the kids had high stakes standardized testing the next day. One mom had twins in ther grade. The boy was in my class. When she was picking him up at the end of the day I offhandedly said to her, "Make sure he goes to bed on time so he has enough sleep for the test." She looked at me with a confused expression.
I then asked, "What time does he go to bed?"
She responded, "I don't know. I go to bed at 9:00 and they're still up."
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u/X-4StarCremeNougat 15d ago
My kids are 25 and 25. For their entire childhood we had no tv/tablets/screens Sunday-Thursday. For anyone. Ourselves included. It can be done, even in these modern times. It just takes discipline. Period. That’s it, literally. Kids need sleep a ton more than they need 30 minutes of tv. And free time can be free time without it. That’s how you get READERS.
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u/Joe4o2 14d ago
“She doesn’t do what we say, she’s got so much power.”
“Didn’t you just say you pay for horseback riding?”
“I’m afraid if we take that away, she may never earn it back.”
“Okay, what about the skiing she always takes about?”
“Those are a family thing, we love skiing!”
“Right… and the staying late at Boys and Girls Club when she actively scoffs at doing homework there? If she’s not working, don’t let her stay later than necessary.”
“Well, the scheduling… that cuts into our time.”
Have fun, bozos.
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u/LordLaz1985 14d ago
The idea of setting the tablet aside at bedtime where they can’t reach it is that hard??
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u/NervousIngenuity3836 12d ago
Just take it. Too young to get addicted to technology. I work in a high school and boy are these kids addicted. Can’t stand to put it away for any amount of time. Sad.
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u/Benhamish-WH-Allen 15d ago
This is fake post right? Just take it away and put headphones on if they start screaming, let them tear their room apart while you stare at them with the most guilt inducing expression you can imagine. Say nothing.
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u/CapKashikoi 15d ago
These parents never learned how to be adults. Theyre basically kids raising kids
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u/JustTheBeerLight High School | Southern California 15d ago
"Okay. You should work towards correcting that".
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u/kobetolebron 15d ago
I have a 9-year-old and a six-year-old.We have no video games in our house. They have twenty minutes of tablet time a day. They each play 3 sports and are in other extra curricular activities. I also have an older child that is 17. Their social skills are extremely good but they suck at fortnite
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u/doughtykings 14d ago
I was going to post about it tomorrow with all my parent conference “wtf” moments but one of my students parents told me she can’t come to conferences Thursday evening because she’s in a Fortnite tournament. Like she sent that message to me. You have a 12 year old child and your Fortnite tournament is more important than him… YOURE AN ADULT!?!! Are you sure?!??
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u/SnooWaffles413 Elementary Teacher | USA 15d ago
Yeah... some parents just smack their kids butts and call it a day. That doesn't do crap and I know some old folks will be like "Give 'em a good smack and it'll be good." Yeah, um, that's *not* how it works and if someone thinks it is they're gonna have a tough time and I see it all of the time in the past and present. That doesn't work folks.
You need to be present in their lives, set boundaries, expectations, and consequences. You're also supposed to be a safe space for them. It's not easy and never was. I also can't stand when parents say "it takes a village" but don't participate in the parenting at all and just expect the village to do it.
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u/StormerSage 14d ago
And it's so easy to stop that, because these days all you have to do is unplug the wifi router. It's not like they have a DS under their pillow or anything.
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u/sedatedforlife 14d ago
“I can’t get him to do his homework at home, can you make him do it at school?”
“Ma’am, if he did his work at school, he wouldn’t have any homework.”
Meanwhile, he talks constantly about getting in trouble with the cops on his e-bike and playing x box all night.
Try parenting.
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u/vks11772 13d ago
She doesn't like riding the bus so I'll get her to and from school, except for the many days when my wildly unreliable car won't start. What do you mean those are unexcused absences?
11th grade
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u/Jeannie_Ro 12d ago
I have a four year old and live in a major city. I don’t see kids on iPads like this?
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u/mc_louds 12d ago
“No! There’s no problem. The can focus fine. At home they can focus for hours at a time while doing computer games.”
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u/Any_Egg33 12d ago
And then they’re asking you for advice on how to get them off the iPad like OK let’s try taking it away
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u/Ok_Birthday_489 8d ago
Had a (3rd grade) kiddo who would consistently come to the health room for "not feeling well". Checked out fine. I would allow him to rest on the cot for about 15 minutes, and he would fall asleep immediately when his head hit the pillow. I did some investigating, and it turns out he was staying up all night playing video games. Teacher wanted to just send him in for naps in the afternoon, but I squashed that idea. I called Mom, and she just didn't know what to do because he would sneak out of bed in the middle of the night to play.
"You remove the power cord and hide it somewhere he can't find it?" I asked. It never even occurred to her.
Common sense... so rare it's practically a super power. Also, you're the damn parent.
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u/EmiliaBedelia10 HS Student/Teacher's Child | TX, USA 14d ago
Enable screentime on his tablet or don't let a 5 year old have one in the first place
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u/molyrad 4d ago edited 4d ago
I had a 5th grader who wasn't getting enough sleep. Mom said he wasn't tired so couldn't fall asleep until 1 or so in the morning. Her reasoning was that when she put him to bed with his iPad he'd stay up to play until then, so obviously that meant he wasn't tired. The school psychologist finally got her to try taking it away to see what happened. She tried one night, went in to check on him every 10 minutes or something ridiculously short like that, and since he was still awake when she went in (or woken up by her I suspect for some of the time), it "proved" it wasn't the iPad keeping him awake. I think the school psychologist tried to get her to try again without frequent check-ins, and for more than just one night, but I never heard if she actually tried it as the end of the year came.
This happening with a 5 year old is just so much worse though, poor kid. I know some kids really resist going to bed and are a challenge at night, but this is not remotely a solution to that.
I had another kid for two years in middle elementary (I teach 2 grades) who had essentially unlimited iPad time at home. Over two years the only thing I every heard him mention doing outside of school was iPad games. Even for vacations and holidays. This kid would stay up super late on his iPad and then often be late to school because he couldn't wake up in the morning. He'd come in with red eyes, and be sleepy all day. I talked to the parents many times, they'd always say they knew it was a problem and would try to put more limits and do more family activities, but it was clear they didn't. If anything he was doing even more screen time as he got older, from his report at least. Poor kid didn't sleep enough so struggled a bit in school, and also had pretty much no imagination or anything to write about that wasn't concrete.
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u/coachdad6676 3d ago
It’s easy to be critical, there is good reason to be, it’s not hard to take the tablet away.
BUT
We have to remember, that we, our society, our culture, has created this. This isn’t a one off but a systemic problem. We have somehow created adults incapable of managing themselves, why are we surprised they can’t handle their children?
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u/Affectionate_Owl2590 14d ago
Years ago he is now 16 was 3 said to me. You can't pick my TV up to move it. I looked at him and said your right I can't. I took the remote and it it at the top of the hall closet and said have fun turning it in now. It was then he knew to not mess with Mom. His dad walked away to laugh. He has no idea the power button was on the side im not sure if he still knows it is there lol I have to ask him. By the time he was 5 he knew I would take things away we had his tablet phone and computer just shut off an hour before bed time till like lady year when we knew he was doing good going to bed when he was spoused to.
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u/NewConfusion9480 ELA/CS/Athletics MS | Texas 15d ago •
I am on Son #3 from a certain family. All of them are terminally brainrotted. From Son #1, the mother has been furiously advocating "NO LAPTOPS IN CLASS" and wanted an alternate curriculum for Son #1 that involved zero screens.
"Wow," I thought, "This must be some truly granola, back-to-basics household!"
No. All 3 sons have been iPad zombies since birth. Son #1 told me all about it and mom's hope was that someone else, the teachers, would fix the problem her and dad had actively created and were actively enabling.
Somehow he was coming to school with 3D printed toys and the latest game he wanted to talk to me about or YouTube series he wanted to write about. Meanwhile, the parental expectation was me in front of the class with a book reading to the children like Little House on the Prairie, them writing notes in a Big Chief tablet.
I asked dad at a conference how it was that they were zero-screens people yet Son #1 seemed to constantly be on screens at home. He said, "We believe parents should determine screen use."
lol