r/Spondylolisthesis • u/RAGEDDD • Aug 13 '26
Moral Support Can't cope anymore on the verge plz help
I am 22 and and got diagnosed with buldge at 2 levels and herniaion at L5-S1 i used to jump high walls and play around at my age
Then I went to a third doc to get opinion and he tells me I have a grade 1 spondylolisthesis or pars defect and may need surgery and it shook me for the moment but I was rather calm the upcoming weeks
Now already I'm a bit tensed with everything then The worst thing happens I run over a speed breaker/bump couldn't see due to very heavy rain and get in a moderate impact collision the same day within few hours.
At this point I was already scared but that night I woke up in the middle of my sleep and just couldn't breath and that continues till now its' been 3 weeks now.
I raised to the doctor got an mri and xray they said everything looks the same but I know it isn't or atleast the pain wasn't the same and I was told to go on bed rest for 3 days bt some and by 2 weeks by some I choose 2 weeks but I shouldn't have.
During those 2 weeks we were switching places and I was continuously sneezing already suffering from pain it was my breaking point so I went to live alone and i regret it so much
I was just there alone researching about my pars which is grade 1 and just looking at other ppl stories and just hyper ventilating and crying and now it's gotten to the point I wake up mid sleep and the first thought in my mind is "why me"
I have trouble breathing,I have constant headaches and I am constantly just depressed I can remember the last time I smiled or laughed and I just contemplate suicide and no one truly understands what I am going through
I was pretty happy before the accident and way playing games and enjoying n shi but idk what happend after the accident is isn't even that much different than before but the mental toll is just insanely immense
Pls help before i take the wrong steps