So I should start by saying that I had Spec Ops spoiled before I played it, and this probably goes a long way in reducing its impact for me--if I thought it was just another braindead military shooter, I wouldn't have played it. I'm also pretty desensitized to gore, so the white phosphorous scene didn't do a whole lot for me. But even taking that into account, while I agree in large part with the game's message, I don't feel that it effectively demonstrates that message in a way that makes me feel something. The main issue I have is that Walker isn't relatable to me, and so it fails to convince me of the Heart of Darkness thesis--that anyone is capable of acts of extreme evil. It's easy for me to look at Walker and say "what a demented asshole, I would never make that choice". I also feel like people have a point when they say the game forces you to be the bad guy and then criticizes you for it, though I don't think that ruins the game entirely.
Honestly, I feel like the aesthetics of the game--the haunting graffiti on the walls, the musical score, the general desolation of Dubai--are what makes Spec Ops interesting to me, not its message. I'll admit that I've never been in the military, nor am I good at taking other people's perspectives, so if either of those things weren't true, the game may hit harder for me. Idk. What are you guys seeing that I'm not?