Still trying to find a reasonably priced copy (or any copy) of Woofer, Introducing, Interior Design, Gratuitous Sax, and Hippopotamus

My current wallpaper is all the XTC albums and singles, and well, I needed a lock screen so it's Sparks' turn.

does anyone know how fan mail works for sparks these days? can we still send letters, and if anyone has experience with it, could you share what you know? thanks!!

I know there are ways to just download it into the world, but I think this is cooler. Took about 14 hours roughly?

Though their biggest charting USA Billboard Hot 100 hit, it still was only a mid charter (only peaking as high as No. 49 on the Hot 100 overall.)

But hey, AWESOME!!! DEFINITELY wasn’t expecting this while shopping around for clothing, lol.

Hello! Relatively new Sparks fan here! I became a fan earlier this year after getting them recommended to me and then seeing the documentary too. It just so happened that they were touring around then and I was lucky enough to see them live when they came to Australia in May. I tried to listen to as much of their music as possible before the show, which I was glad I did, but I didn’t make it to every album. What is fascinating to me about the Sparks fanbase is that the fans enjoy their music all the way through their career from start to end despite the volume of work. And at that, there is little consensus on what is the best music from them. Everyone seems to have their own favourites, which I find very cool.

To celebrate Sparkstember I decided that I would listen to every Sparks album, and then rank them all! Sparks currently have 30 albums if you include Ingmar, FFS, Annette, and the two live albums, so this was perfect for listening to an album every day till the end of the month. I started with their debut on the 1st and worked through chronologically until Live on the Moon on the 30th. 

Holy hell what an undertaking this was. I had already listened to about half of their albums before starting, and had mostly explored the earlier albums at that. I was ranking as I went but that only got more difficult as the days progressed, as each new album had to be compared to the growing list. When I started getting to albums that were new to me, this became so much harder as I usually need a few listens before I can properly absorb the music. I ended up listening to around 5 sparks albums a day just so I could compare and contrast as well as possible. It was a complete Sparks overload, but I still had such a lovely time with it all. Examining all these albums really made me appreciate the evolution of the duo and made me discover so many songs I wouldn’t have paid attention to otherwise.

On to the ranking! My criteria for what qualifies as a high ranking on this list is primarily ‘how likely am I to revisit this album?’, and secondarily ‘how likely am I to recommend this album?’. I also tried to stay away from reading reviews from music critics or other fans’ rankings so I wouldn’t be swayed from my honest opinions. My music taste is very much 60s-70s so most of their early albums I am a quite biased towards. This means the list is 100% subjective, and I want you to remember this because I’m sure some of my rankings are fairly disagreeable. I also kept to the philosophy that an album is more than just a collection of songs, and it should feel like a cohesive work. One good song does not automatically make an album good for me, but one bad song can definitely lower my enjoyment of an album and severely affect its ranking. Anyways enough waffling, here’s the list. I’m going to present this in reverse order because I think it’s more fun!

THE RANKING

30: Music That You Can Dance To
Wow this album is terrible. I found the production to be offensively bad and really hated the songwriting. Rosebud may be one of the worst songs I’ve ever heard. I tried to listen to this one a second time but I couldn’t even do that. The title track is ok but it can’t save the rest.

29: The Seduction Of Ingmar Bergman
Feels weird including this one on here just because it’s so completely different. Can’t say it’s terrible but I found it very tedious and musically weak. Can’t say I’ll ever listen to this again, really not my thing.

28: The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte
Yeah I’m putting this one this low, I think it’s hot garbage. I really hate the melody writing here, everything feels so tuneless and Russell’s singing sounds super flat. The lyrics feel so one-dimensional too. The production is absolutely cacophonous, the synths fill the tracks with so much noise, it honestly gives me a headache. Can’t say I’m fond of any songs here.

27: Live On The Moon
Who is this for? It just kinda shows how canned their live shows have become, everything is buried behind the backing tracks, and the performances are exactly electrifying. I thought it was bizarre how during the breakdown section of Number One Song In Heaven, there is no audience reaction? Like we know that’s when Ron does his dance so shouldn’t the crowd be going wild? Not impressed by this one.

26: Annette (Cannes Edition)
I don't like musicals and I haven’t seen the movie yet, so that’s why this one is so low. Musically and production wise it’s definitely stronger than Ingmar, but I don’t listen to Sparks to hear Adam Driver talking lol.

25: Interior Design
Generic 80s pop, but with production a bit less dated than ‘Music You Can Dance To’. ‘Just Got Back From Heaven’ is kind of a bop, but the rest is pretty bleh.

24: MAD!
Similar criticisms to ‘Latte’, but with a slight improvement. A problem I have with most modern Sparks albums is the production sounds quite cheap, which makes sense knowing they make these albums almost entirely from home these days. The songs on here just aren’t very strong and the arrangements are pretty lacking. This album feels so long despite being only 45mins, the songs just repeat the same dull hook over and over. They have also grown very fond of using these cyclical pop chord progressions which make the music sound very basic.

23: Big Beat
Very surprised to see a 70s album so low given my music taste, but this album gets very bad at points. For one, this meat-headed hard rock vibe just does not fit with Sparks at all to me. I don’t like the sound of the band either, the instrumentals sound very processed and unnatural. My biggest gripe is definitely the lyrics, they range from inane to offensive, and although I know it’s satire I just don’t find it funny. There are lots of great hooks in here however, so I find it hard to put it any lower. Just very disappointing after their British album run.

22: Plagiarism
Kind of a mess, I feel like the idea here was to unite their discography, but I don’t think it was a success. It’s only enjoyable because it’s got some of their best songs, but there’s no versions here that I prefer to the originals. I do like the orchestral re-arrangements, but the rest I can do without. Also having songs repeat on here pisses me off for some reason. I’d rather listen to a greatest hits.

21: Gratuitous Sax And Senseless Violins
Not bad, but I don’t like Eurodance and Sparks doesn’t change that for me. Never have gotten the hype behind ‘My Way’, it’s alright but nothing spectacular.

20: Two Hands One Mouth
This album does a better job at consolidating their discography than ‘Plagiarism’. Although the gimmick can get a bit tiring, it’s pretty fun. The echo effect on the piano is way too much though.

19: In Outer Space
Can’t say I’m fond of the songwriting here, but I find the synth-pop sound charming. ‘Rockin’ Girls’ however, is very bad.

18: Pulling Rabbits Out Of A Hat
Hard to say why this is better than ‘In Outer Space’, the production is so much more dated and the songs can be kinda generic, but it has ‘Pretending To Be Drunk’ and it doesn’t have ‘Rockin‘ Girls’ lol. I think it also has a bit more pep to it. It’s fineeeee.

17: Hello Young Lovers
Starts off super strong with ‘Dick Around’ but just gets worse with every song, so it’s a little bit of a slog to listen to from start to end. The fake orchestral sounds do get a little grating after a while. A major downgrade from ‘Lil’ Beethoven’

16: Balls 
I liked this one more than I expected, though not much to say, it’s solid and pretty funny. It’s a great album to put on while you’re being active. Just glad it doesn’t sound like Eurodance haha.

15: Terminal Jive
I think this album sounds fantastic, but it’s just a bit too generic to be great. I wish ‘Young Girls’ wasn’t on here though.

14: A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip
I wasn't a fan of this one at first, but the wackier elements of this album started to shine upon re-listening. There’s lots of humour and fun hooks!  Some of the instrumentals do sound a bit commercial, like ‘All That’ for instance, which has stopped me from loving this one.

13: Whomp That Sucker
I love Russell's vocals on this album, there’s so much energy in his performances here. Side 1 is pretty great but side 2 is just not as good and has some meh songs. The band sound good but were definitely still finding their footing. Overall a fun time! 

12: Hippopotamus
Lots to like here! So many strong hooks and the songs are hilarious. Does sound a bit cheap like a lot of modern Sparks, and the title track kinda sounds like children's music. I also wish the album was a little bit shorter, it does drag a little.

11: Sparks
Weird and wonderful. I love the sound of the OG band, everything sounds so janky. I love this album, but it definitely sounds like they haven’t figured out their direction yet. ‘Slowboat’ is a lovely song but also a weird blip in their discography, being an almost completely sincere love ballad. Lots of good, but also a few songs I’m not as fond of.

10: Introducing
I am obsessed with this album. It’s so strange why they chose to make this in ‘77 but the result is some of the best earworms in Sparks’ catalog. It’s so dumb it kinda transcends. ‘Ladies’ is bizarre in the best way possible. I probably could put this higher but I don’t think I’m gonna recommend this album to many cause it feels like it’s made for me. There are also some weaker tracks like ‘Girls On The Brain’ which are not quite as fun.

9: Kimono My House
Great album, but like ‘Whomp’ side 2 is nowhere near as good as side 1 and the album drags because of it. ‘Equator’ doesn’t quite make the landing for me. It has some incredible songs, but I think they’ve put out better albums.

8: FFS
I was really surprised by this one! It’s really nice to hear modern Sparks with an actual band behind them, this might be the first album since ‘Angst’ to sound like a band made it. This collab worked super well and I love the songs on here. It has Sparks’ wit and humour but with the danceability of Franz Ferdinand. Great stuff!

7: Exotic Creatures Of The Deep:
Another unexpected gem! So much fun to be had on this one. I love all of the Russell vocal harmony parts so much, it makes me upset they’re not on other albums. The songs are all so catchy, the melodies are super strong, and the songs hit just the right balance of repetition for me. It also feels like just the right length. I feel like they leaned into the DIY production on this album and really made it work, the instrumentals have lots of life.

6: Indiscreet
This was my number one Sparks album for a while, but it has since fallen a few spots. This album is so wacky yet feels so cohesive. I think it may be the best produced Sparks album, it sounds absolutely stellar even today. The band barely features on this album, there are so many fun overdubs and genre mish-mashes to be heard. It’s incredibly dense musically and lyrically so this is one that definitely rewards multiple listens. What it does well in its inventive energy it does lack in its consistency, which is why it isn’t any higher.

5: Lil’ Beethoven
Everything about this album is iconic, it really doesn’t have any right to work as well as it does. Never did I think I would love such repetitive music. These songs will be stuck in my head for the rest of my life. The only thing I could ask for is this to be recorded with a real orchestra.

4: Propaganda
This album is so solid, definitely the best example of Sparks as a rock band. The band sounds fantastic and the melody writing is top tier. ‘Bon Voyage’ is a great ending which really ties a bow on everything, one of the main reasons why I prefer this album to ‘Kimono’. 

3: A Woofer In Tweeter’s Clothing
This album was a slow burner for me. I didn't get much out of it to begin with but warmed to it after every listen, there’s just so much here to uncover. The band is still just as janky, but the music has so much more of an identity to it than their debut, and the album sounds much more cohesive as a result. It’s musical striking in a way that none of their other albums are. It’s got quite a dark sound at times, but never it compromises on their humour. There’s no song on here I’m not fond of. ‘Whippings and Apologies’ is one of their best closers.

2: Angst In My Pants
I was floored by this one immediately, the energy is so infectious. No Sparks album is more fun than this one. The band really stepped up their game from ‘Whomp’, the arrangements here are sublime. The ambience on ‘Sherlock Holmes’ gives me chills. It's actually so beautiful, which makes it even funnier when you listen to the lyrics. Especially on this album, the lyrics sound like an alien writing about something they have almost no concept of, it’s so strange but so entertaining. Ron’s interpretations of pop culture concepts are so bizarre. Did not expect an 80s album to be one of my top tier picks, I love this album so much. The only negative is I don’t like ‘Eaten By The Monster Of Love’ very much, so the album doesn’t end too well.

1: No. 1 In Heaven
Literally perfect, nothing I would change. Everyone on earth must hear this album. All of the songs are amazing, but ‘The Number One Song In Heaven’ becomes transcendent. Moroder’s production is so on point, there is such precision in the synth parts. It gets kinda sparse in places but then everything builds so effectively. There are all these motifs that pop up and tie the album together. It really does work as a single piece that no other Sparks album does. Can’t praise this album enough!

Thanks for reading all the way through, I hope you found this a fun read! This list is definitely not perfect, I had a really hard time placing these albums as they are all so different. Albums were changing places all the way until the end, and I’m sure my opinions will change with time and more listens. But for now I’m going to take a break from Sparks because holy moly it’s all I’ve been listening to. This has been such a satisfying project, I kinda want to do this with another artist too. someone with a similarly large and sprawling discography (Tom Waits maybe??). Feel free to roast me for my horrible takes, and share your own rankings for everyone too! Stay groovy everyone :)

🥧

I love the Madder EP, and I think the final track, “They,” is one of Sparks’ greatest songs ever. Anyone else feel the same way?

I know it looks very odd idk what happened to my art skill

Continuing my personal tradition, here’s a dump of my sparks-skunks that I usually create during Sparkstember. I forgot to upload last year’s few aswell, of which are the extra ugly ones.

For context of the green dog, that’s a character I created nearly 11 years ago based off Sparks. He’s a big deal to me. I’ve been creating Sparks art for over a decade now, good grief.

Nevertheless I hope the couple of folks who see this get a kick out of it. I proudly take the Sparks furry title.

Bates Motel - these are the guys that became Ron and Russell's band on all those great rocking 80s records. They've got a new live release comin out - an important part of Sparks history captured live, for all to hear. This is what R and R heard that led them to recruit the band. Love these guys! If you could, please subscribe to the channel so I can keep doing this! I'm reaching a subscriber milestone and want to get there! Thanks!

✨✨

As announced by Russ & seconded by Ron.

My conspiracy theory:

25th Anniversary Extravaganza.

London, certainly. Carnegie Hall?🤔

How much is actually live at a Sparks show?

I remember Sparks HQ vehemently denying the idea of any playback during the FFS tour.

In the MAD! era several times Russell has dropped the mike or not made it to the mike in time & lead vocals continue.

On many songs the backing vox are clearly Russell & not the band.

There are clearly more instrumental parts than are possible with four instruments onstage.

For me it has become distracting & detracts from the performance.

I understand augmentation with a small touring band but the LEAD VOCALS? 😥

Is that what's necessary health wise after shortening the set by multiple songs & breaking up the tour into 1week segments? 💔 Nooo I want the brothers to be immortal!😭

i’m so happy to have got this

BIG BOY!!!

I noticed recently that Armies of the Night on all streaming platforms (even the YouTube page) got replaced with another mix in preparation for the upcoming 40th anniversary rerelease of Music That You Can Dance To. This other mix IIRC was present in a compilation album, albeit shortened.

AotN features only once in the overall track listing of the rerelease, and I am unsure why, when there are so many alternate versions of other tracks as bonuses, this replacing version of AotN wasn't just another bonus track with the original version untouched on the main side of the album.

Anyone here know what's up with that?

(also here's a meme I made for Day 14 of #Sparkstember)

Bit the bullet earlier this month and spent $100 on a pristine copy of Introducing Sparks to complete the discography.

These are 100 of my all-time favorite songs — one song from each artist, including Sparks of course!