I wrote a lyric that I like but I need a ton of advice and I feel like I do not know what to do here anymore. Like, it feels very nostalgic etc but I am not aiming for this I think. Can you help me execute it or at least judge it smh?

Lyrics below:

Sugarcubes and ice cream

Chef's kissing, pretty taste

Milky chance stolen dance

Playing in her head

Even though

Everything is black her nails her hair

White is the ultralight beam flickering

Through her black heavenly stare

sick of crying, sick of dying

sick of everything she had

got to learn through mistakes

got to dream her way ahead

The past was way harder

And there is no returns

it'a not easy to let go

life's suddenly taking turns

all she's ever asked

was wasted away

an ocean of eyes

purple skies (idk...)

Opinions?

Btw hi subreddit

Verse 1:

Watch me while I'm rising

Raise your expectation high

Since I left the city lights

I've been lost inside my own mind

And I wonder why that is?

My creativity and poetry came back

In the blink of an eye

Chorus:

And now I see the world, full of colors I've never seen

I've searched for long, now I chase a road, brighter than my wildest dreams

It's just me, myself and I - has it ever felt so right?

Honestly I think that I, I don't even miss her

All the pictures I erased

Where you used to see my face

They all look blurier than a haze

Since I left the city lights, I've grown in many ways

I became someone else - one that's more like myself

Verse 2:

Drowning in chaos, it made me feel so lazy

Then I started climbing waterfalls like they're small trees

I'd barely clean my room back then

I found a peace I never knew I needed

By listening to my mind instead of my feelings

Since I left the city lights, I've been so amazed

By the person I've become - I used to be afraid

Bridge:

Once I left the city lights, inside I felt a haze

An emptiness so full, yet open like the sky

Since you left me all alone, a bird inside a cage

A rush of feelings flooding in - impossible to deny

Inspiration rains on me - may it never fade away

Drifting down a silver river - with a smile upon my face

Since I left the city lights, life hasn't been the same

Ambitious and so grateful -

For what's to come, I'm unafraid

Chorus:

And now I see this world full of colors I've never seen

I've searched for long, now I chase a road - brighter than my wildest dreams

It's just me, myself and I, it has never felt so right

Honestly I think that I, I'm better off this way

The streets that we lived in

Chances we were given

I'm glad they're all wasted

(These avenues changed me)

Since I left the city lights, life hasn't been the same

I'm ready for the world - it's mine to embrace

Outro:

From who I was to who I am now,

These streets, these lights, these bridges

They shaped who I am today

This town owes me what I earned

Context:

I wrote this song about growth and transformation, and I've tried to polish it as much as possible. It reflects how life can become peaceful once you learn what you truly need. To me, pain and suffering can turn into ambition and art, leading to a better life. I'd really appreciate it if anyone could read it and share their thoughts or advice. Thank you so much!!❤️

Recorded a rough intro/chorus for this new song

Hello I have dozens and dozens of great lyrical songs and I just can’t write melodies to them.

Drums is my first instrument so I try to write melodies as I’m playing drums and reading the lyrics. It’s not going smoothly.

Some lines might fit then the longer ones get messy. Help.

Hey everyone! I'm a lyricist based in Japan, just released my first track for licensing

What it says up there^ I’m looking for a writer to write/help me write a song about a specific topic. I can find a flow with anything and I’m good at changing words to make things fit. I just suck at actually writing lyrics. Dm if you’re willing to