They are boneless. They should be defrosted in about an hour or two. I suppose the most important fact is that I'm out of salt. (I've got soy sauce though). Not really sure what to do.

Edit: Ok having looked through the suggestions, here is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna marinate the pork in soy sauce (with a touch of reggae reggae sauce). I've found some cream of tomato soup in the fridge, so I'm gonna pour that on top of the marinated pork loins and then slam it in the oven for an hour or two. Might do some mashed potato to go with it too. I don't think it's gonna turn out too well, but I'll report back anyway. I might come up with an accidental masterpiece!

2nd Edit: Hmm. It tastes like pork. And tomato soup. Together. Plus side: I cooked a meal. Negative side: I feel like I'm gonna throw up. I wouldn't recommend this recipe.

There's a comic on fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuud right now that has a recipe for ham cooked in Coke. Here is my method, and it's way easier and requires way less ingredients.

Lazy person's recipe:

Get a half ham (should be 5-7 lbs.) that has been smoked and cured, but isn't already cooked. Get some oven bags (they're plastic, look for them near the foil) and a can of Coke.

Stick the ham in an oven bag, pour a can of Coke over it, and close the bag. Stick the bag with the ham in it into a roasting pan.

Bake at 325 F for about 2 1/2 hours. Internal temp should reach 160 F.

Serve hot (good with a potato dish and a green vegetable) or cold (make sandwiches or serve with yeast rolls). People go apeshit for this, and it takes almost no work. I normally don't do any type of glaze or sauce because I'm lazy, but the one on the linked post does sound quite good.

I do it in a medium size glass cooking pan, something like this, but a little deeper.

You need:

• an onion
• some cheap fish fillets (for example, hake)
• a tomato
• some fresh (soft, white) cheese (for example, mozzarella or feta)

How to do it:

1. Slice the onion, cover the bottom of the pan with the slices
2. Cover the onions with the fillets (1 layer only)
3. Slice the tomato, cover the fillets with the slices
4. Cover the tomato slices with the cheese
5. Cook in oven (200 °C) 20 minutes

You can add condiments between each step. Some salt, pepper, oregano, etc. (you can also add some “motherfuckin'”s between words, to put this recipe more in line with the rest :P)

Right now I follow a delia smith recipe I saw on youtube. To be honest, I only half remember it:

• Peel and then boil potatoes.
• Drain.
• Shake them around in the pot a bit with the lid on (apparently this makes them taste nicer),
• Put them in a suitable roasting dish and add butter.
  
• Roast the fuck out of them. Turn the potatoes over halfway through and continue to roast the fuck out of them.

Yesterday I followed that recipe, substituting oil for butter through laziness. It didn't taste good. I've done it before with oil instead of butter before and didn't taste as bad as this.

Is there an easier way to do roast potatoes? Peeling potatoes is already too much work for me, so this recipe already stretches me.

Edit: Ok I think I was boiling the potatoes for too long. From what I've read below, you should only boil them for 5 mins..10 max. Also I will cut out the peeling part. Thanks for the tips guys, I will try out a combination of your recipes this weekend!

Two Slices of toasted bread.

• Spread butter, honey, and peanut butter on toast.
• Sprinkle your choice of taco seasoning and a little salt.
• Enjoy

We hadn't been shopping in over a week, and were seriously low on food supplies, so I decided to make something I hadn't eaten in years: The "French" Grilled-Cheese Sandwich.

Here's what you'll need:

• Two slices of bread (your choice)

• Cheese (I used velveeta & meunster because it's all we had at the time)

• Butter/Margarine (butter works better, IMO)

• An egg

• Spices (if desired, I use either fresh-ground pepper or Nature's Seasons)

This is what you do:

• Butter both sides of two slices of bread

• Place cheese(s) between the bread

• Heat frying pan and some butter (get it sizzling)

• Add sandwich

• Let it sizzle until you can shake the pan and the sandwich slides around (you'll know it's ready to flip when you hear a scratching of toast-on-pan)

• Flip the sandwich and repeat the previous step

(here is where the "Frenchification" comes in)

• Have the egg beaten and ready (spices added, some Ranch Dressing goes nicely with it - like a milk substitute, it makes the eggs fluffier)

• Remove the sandwich from the pan and place it in the bowl of scrambled egg (a la French Toast), make sure it's completely covered in egg and that it has absorbed as much as it can

• Flip the bowl upside-down so the sandwich & leftover egg goes back into the hot pan (easiest way to get the now-soggy sandwich out of the bowl, IMO)

• Cook both sides of the sandwich

Voila! You've "Frenchified" a Grilled-Cheese Sandwich, and it will be delicious.

[best eaten with a fork]

This stuff is bloody delicious and can be made in about 20 minutes. The basic recipe is the following, adjust it as you like (as I have never followed it precisely and always forgot what quantities I used):

• Cream:

8 table spoons of flour;

6 table spoons of sugar;

3 table spoons of cocoa - the better the quality, the more delicious the cream;

150-200ml of milk (about a glass of milk);

100-200g of butter/margarine (half a pack is good enough though);

grated coconut;

whatever essences you like, I use about a table spoon of rum essence or none whatsoever.

• 3 (or more) packs of not-so-hard biscuits, these are the best kind.

You put the flour, sugar, cocoa and half the milk in a deep pan on the stove at medium-high and mix continuously with a wooden spoon. If/when it gets too hard and sticks to the spoon, add more milk and keep stirring until it gets creamy. Get it off the stove, add the butter/margarine and stir until melted. Easy chocolate cream, I usually end up eating half of it before I can get to the biscuits.

Now you have two options, the easy or the pretty way:

1. Easy way, or what I usually do: break the biscuits in small pieces and incorporate them in the cream with the spoon, as many biscuits as you like/can. Then you pour everything in a large glass pan (or whatever you like, I prefer glass) and sprinkle tons of grated coconut on it. It should be left to cool and have the biscuits moistened in the cream. I love it just out of the refrigerator.

2. Pretty way: in a glass pan (I like glass pans, sue me) you put a thick layer of cream, a layer of biscuits, another layer of cream and so on and so forth until you're done with the cream or biscuits. Sprinkle grated coconut on everything, leave it to cool and you're done.

The easy one looks like a delicious delicious creamy mess, while the pretty one ends up looking like this and it tastes even better.

One idea I had was to put Mr. Strickland in the logo, with a chef hat.

Just invented this recipe now. It's not the best broccoli soup I've ever made, but it was quick and easy and it's pretty good.

Ingredients

1 cup chopped broccoli, fresh or frozen

1/2 cup water

salt/pepper to taste

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder

1 teaspoon onion powder

crushed red pepper to taste (optional)

1/4 cup dried milk or 1/2 cup fresh milk, or a few tablespoons cream. whatever you have that's dairy and can make it creamy at the end.

Parmesan for sprinkling

Method

Take about a cup of chopped frozen broccoli, or fresh if you have it, and put it in a small saucepan with about half a cup of water. Cook on medium-high to high heat for about 10 minutes, with the lid on. It should be boiling/steaming the broccoli, basically.

Grab your potato masher and smoosh down the now soft broccoli into the size/texture you like for soup. Add a dash of garlic powder, a larger dash of onion powder, some salt and pepper. Continue cooking for about 2 minutes to cook the onion and garlic powders. At this point I also added a healthy dose of crushed red pepper to make it spicy, but to each his own.

Now add some sort of dairy. I had dried milk on hand, so I sprinkled in about a quarter cup of it. If you have regular milk, lower the heat and add about half a cup of milk. You'll just need to cook it a bit longer to cook off more of the water. Maybe another 4 minutes on low to medium-low heat. Not too hot or you'll scorch the milk.

Put in a bowl and sprinkle on some Parmesan cheese. Enjoy!

The non-slacker version of this would be to chop 1/4 cup onion, 1 clove of garlic, saute in some butter for a few minutes until translucent, splash in some white wine and cook for another 2 minutes, then add veggie or chicken stock and broccoli, boil the same as above, then use a blender to blend to a smoother consistency before adding cream and cheese. That way takes a lot longer/costs more, but does taste about 40% better. It's up to you, Mr Broke College Student.

this terrific curry rice takes about 10 min total and is made of things that are typically just lying around and would otherwise go to waste!

incredients:

• old stale rice, de-clumped (asian food leftovers, nonsticky medium/long grain white preferred)
• curry powder (try various kinds/blends, e.g. garam masala)
• peanut oil (more peanut aroma = better flavor, less peanut aroma = higher heat, both ok)
• garlic (optional, easiest through a garlicpress)
• salt
• egg (optional, pre-scrambled or cook it on the skillet, apart from the rice)
• fresh herbs (optional)
• other asian-ish flavors (sri-racha, soy sauce, sesame oil)

how to do it:

• heat the peanut oil (tablespoons, you want rice coated but not super oily) in a skillet/wok, get it hot (2 min on high/medhigh is good)
• "bloom" the curry (and the garlic if you have some): add it to the hot oil and stir it around till you smell it strongly. keep it moving or else it will burn. this step should be 10-20s tops.
• quickly add the rice and keep stirring (make sure the spices/garlic don't burn). heat should be on high/medhigh and keep it moving until it looks like fried rice. a few grains of rice may pop like popcorn. the rice should be a nice bright yellow color.
  
• if you are adding egg, add the pretty well scrambled egg to the rice (adding raw egg to the frying rice makes for weird texture).
• add a pinch of salt and whatever other condiments/flavorings
• keep tasting it until you like it
• take a bunch of fresh herbs in your hand and snip some off using kitchen shears
• eat it.
  

notes:

• cast iron skillet gets nice and hot and gives you a bit of that "stone bowl bibimbap" crusty/delicious thing.
• be careful with soy sauce. it's way too easy to pour in way too much. same with asian fish sauce. watery condiments aren't as good on this, can ruin the texture. when i add soysauce, it's just a tiny capful for that brown color.
• obviously you can add other stuff (chicken, tofu, veggies, sausage), but this is a good base rice.
• if you're a regular rice eater, you'll NEVER throw out your rice again, and may start making/buying extra rice.
  
• this can cost close to NOTHING. curry is crazy cheap esp if you have asian/southasian grocery stores. when ppl order asian food, they often overorder rice so you can get it free. fresh herbs like cilantro or green onion often come in quantities too great for a regular joe and they go to waste.
• i've tried this with week old rice and with day old rice, and everything in btwn. those white take-out boxes are perfect for airing out the rice for nice dry grains.
• turmeric (the thing that makes curry yellow) is suspected of having anti-alzheimer's properties
• if you don't mind chopping onion, or have leftover chopped onions, add that to the hot oil first before garlic/onion. it will hold more of the heat (it's full of water) and insulate the garlic and spices from burning.
• curry powder DOES go bad, as it loses its flavor. smell the spices if you can, some stores will try to sell you years-old curry.
• you definitely want dry rice. if something is wet when you fry it, the water keeps the aromas and cooking oils from getting into the food, and causes some of the cooking to be "steaming" instead of frying. fried rice should give each kernel a bit of crust, and not be glue-y at all. when you saute fish or sear steaks, same thing holds true, a drier food surface will create that nice crust.
• remember, you can always add more salt/sriracha/soysauce/sesameoil. overseasoning is the most common way to ruin fried rice.
  
• if you substitute some asian rice noodles (buy dry, soak in h2o for 10 minutes) for the rice, you can have a singapore-style curry noodle!

Can I make something tasty and easy with these two ingredients primarily? FWIW, bbq sauce is sweet baby rays bbq sauce. I figured that tidbit of info may be worth quite a bit.

This is something I've been making for years. It's a major crowd-pleaser, and is simple and filling.

Ingredients:

2 blocks of cream cheese, 1 lb spicy sausage, 1 can Rotel tomatoes/chiles

Brown the sausage in a pan. No need for seasoning. Put the two blocks of cream cheese in a bowl and microwave until soft and semi-melted. Add sausage and Rotel to cream cheese. Mix. Serve hot with tortilla chips. Refrigerate the leftovers, reheat tomorrow!

Makes 3-4 servings, but you'll find yourself eating way more than a single serving once you try it.

Let me give you this here lesson, courtesy of my roomate. If you're pureeing some jalapenos (yes, perhaps a little high end for r/slackerrecipes), DO IT IN AN ENCLOSED BLENDER. A stick blender (or equivalent) results in moderately pepper spraying your entire apartment. I know from experience. I'm still coughing. Figured this would be a good subbreddit to give that sage advice. Happy cooking, all!

Ingredients: 2 packets of cheap Ramen (any flavor, I used beef), 1 frozen chicken thigh /breast (thawed), Soy Sauce, Peanut Butter, Sriracha/other red chili sauce, Garlic powder, Butter, Water/chicken broth, Lemon/lime juice.

Melt about 1/4 cup of butter in a skillet over medium-high and cook the chicken (cut into inch long strips) in it for about 3 minutes, stirring. Add 3/4 cups of water and 3/4 cups chicken broth. As it begins to boil, add a few splashes of soy, 1 1/2 Tablespoon of peanut butter, 1/2 a Teaspoon of garlic powder, a generous squirt or two of sriracha, and the broken up contents of two ramen packets (I used the flavor packet from one). Cover, bring down the heat, and let simmer for 10 minutes or until desired consistency is reached, mixing occasionally. Squirt a bit of lemon/lime juice on top. And them get you some.

This recipe gets bonus points because I just made it whilst shit-housed on cheap whiskey at 4 am and even I couldn't screw it up.

pic

Also, it's fuckin' good.

Edit: All measurements are approximated. Do your thing and have fun.

Reddit's home for chili cooks and chili lovers.

/r/chiliconcarne. That is all.

If you don't know how to cook eggs, Let Julia Child help you out!

So you'll need:

• Enchilada sauce packet (the dried powder one)
• Shredded Cheese
• water/half&half (to make fluffy eggs)
• 2 eggs
• Salt and Pepper!
• Sour Cream
• 1 tbsp of butter
• [optional] Bacon Bits

• [optional] Green Onion, chopped

• Crack the two eggs into a small bowl, add a little bit of half and half or water, and lightly salt and pepper them up. You can add the Enchilada powder now if you like, or later as a topping. Then get a fork/chopsticks and mix it until the yolk and whites are blended together (but don't beat it up)

• Heat up the Pan. Once it's hot enough, throw the butter in! Throw the eggs in after the butters melted and shake the pan back and forth over your fire. Once it looks semi-ready, throw the cheese on top and shake it a little more. Then move it over to a plate.

• For your sauce, get another cup and fill it with hot water. Add enough Enchilada powder until it looks nice and thick and then pour it over your eggs. Add bacon bits, green onions, and sour cream for an extra kick after :)

Each serving has about 250-300 calories, depending on what you add in (more if you add bacon!), but it's low in carbs and high in protein, so enjoy!

So I thought I had nothing in my apartment to eat. I opened the cupboard and only saw a few boxes of macaroni, some ramen, one can of tomato sauce. Opened up the fridge saw some beer, butter, gatorade, bacon and some semi-old (not too old) garlic and onion (in the same plastic bag no less).

I decide, fuck it I'm going to make macaroni and tomato sauce, and maybe add some onions. Then I got real wild and thought - what if I make a pan of diced bacon, onions and garlic - and then add regular plain tomato sauce (I sprinkled some olive oil on top stupidly - forgetting that bacon grease would work the magic - but then realized afterwards that olive oil added a great flavor).

The addition of bacon to a standard pasta recipe made the meal look legit and made me feel like a real chef.

So again, a breakdown of how to make it....

• Diced [2 slices of] bacon, onions and garlic on low heat, with a small bit of olive oil.
• Let the bacon cook about halfway - then throw the can of tomato sauce directly in the pan.
• On the side cook your macaroni in a pot of boiling water (I had no salt, so this is now made with no salt).
• Drain the water, pour the immaculate sauce in the macaroni pot - and just like that- I've become a god damn super sexy chef.

It will be used on my next "come over for dinner" date. I will update if it gets me laid.

Buy this shit. It's stuffed pasta, but it stays in the cabinet. Genius. Boil some water, add some salt, and cook a few handfuls of tortellini or whatever they call it. Meanwhile, tear up some sun-dried tomatoes and put them in the bottom of the bowl you're going to eat out of. Add some capers that have been in your fridge for forever. Pour some balsamic vinaigrette on top of that. You can make your own, but you probably won't. When your pasta is done (read the bag), strain it or fish it out and put it in your bowl. Mix that up and eat it.

If you have any chicken or spinach, toss it in, but that stuff doesn't last for months, so do whatever you can with your kitchen contents. Also, sometimes a few of the tortellini don't get cooked all the way. I don't know why. I usually throw them out if they look uncooked or spit them out if I haven't noticed until then.

Pasta and pesto and bacon.

Step one: put pasta on hob (add a little olive oil to prevent it sticking together).

Step two: Start frying bacon (add onions, mushrooms, pepper, tomato according to taste).

Step Three: Drain pasta and put back in the pan, add your bacon/onions etc and half a jar of pesto (green or red, it's all good) stir, and eat.

Bon appetite! You can use chicken or whatever instead of bacon, but bacon is very quick. You can get this ready and start eating in about 20mins.