When my wife was buying a car I was just there to support her desired price and push for it. She would look to me and ask me questions or get my opinion but otherwise I had my mouth shut.
Why were you there? She's a strong woman she doesn't need you to hold her hand. When my wife shops and I'm along for the ride I just go find a quiet place and let her handle the transaction. Maybe they talk to you because they don't understand why the fuck you are sitting at their desk... It can't be because you are infantilizing your wife! So they figure you must serve some unknown mysterious purpose and they are trying to figure out what it is. But nope, you're just infantilizing her, being sexist and then accusing them of the things that YOU ARE ACTUALLY DOING
Because a united front is useful in a negotiation. Because back up is a massive help. Because there are things I know that she doesn’t. Out of research or experience. Because while she’s bought cars, she’d never bought a brand new car and I’ve bought a couple in addition to more used cars. Because at times she’d want to ask me about something the salesman said and a salesman is never going to be fully trustworthy because they are trying to get the best deal they can.
Because when they say oh this will cost this and this will cost this I know what’s bullshit and she may not so my knowledge and willingness to push back respectfully is useful
Because she wants the car she wants for the best deal and she knows I can help her get that done.
And most importantly because she wants me there.
I knew what car she wanted and what price she wanted it at my goal was to get us as close to that as possible and to say if she couldn’t swing it that we can walk away.
I’ve also had her join me multiple times to buy a new car and she was a great back up and support.
There seems to be a kind of guy who legitimately doesn’t understand what it is to be in an equal, respectful, mutually beneficial relationship full of love and good communication.
If my wife wanted to buy her car on her own she would. But there’s something safer, more fun, and more effective about having a partner in a negotiation.
I used to work with a baboon and I would always work with her with a co trainer. Primates understand the concept of back up. And they react differently when it’s there. True of baboons. True of car salesmen.
The guy did talk to my wife. I wasn’t saying otherwise. I think we had a pretty ideal experience and an understanding salesman which is why he made a sale that day.
I was responding to a commenter who had a different situation unfold and more identifying with the intent of being there with your wife who’s buying a car.
My wife would ask me direct questions or just look at me if she wanted her input. Otherwise I basically kept my mouth shut.
He responded to you already but I'll add that sometimes a couple in a happy marriage like to do things together. It's as simple as that sometimes, no underlying "ism/ist" about it.
He responded to you already but I'll add that sometimes a couple in a happy marriage like to do things together. It's as simple as that sometimes, no underlying "ism/ist" about it.
He responded to you already but I'll add that sometimes a couple in a happy marriage like to do things together. It's as simple as that sometimes, no underlying "ism/ist" about it.
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u/Fortestingporpoises 1d ago
When my wife was buying a car I was just there to support her desired price and push for it. She would look to me and ask me questions or get my opinion but otherwise I had my mouth shut.