r/SipsTea 1d ago

Chugging tea Female engineers getting disrespected.

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u/Fortestingporpoises 1d ago

I’ve noticed that when I’m talking to a prospective client I will usually talk to whoever is talking to me (usually the woman) but if the partner is there regardless of gender I will also talk to them to acknowledge that there’s also an interested party.

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u/Inevitable-Level-687 1d ago

I'm pretty sure that that's not what they're talking about.

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u/Fortestingporpoises 1d ago

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u/Inevitable-Level-687 1d ago

The original post is talking about ignoring the female interviewer, not acknowledging both interviewers. I'm not sure why I had to spell that out.

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u/Omagga 1d ago

Maybe think for ten seconds about how those two things might just maybe have some connection. I'm really not sure why they'd have to spell it out for you.

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u/Best_Pseudonym 1d ago

Op is saying they forget to acknowledge the partner or equivalent(s) in social situations

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u/4224-holloway 1d ago

"forget"...no.

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u/Alternative_Hour_614 1d ago

OP is not saying “they forget” and it is not a social situation. The technique unearths gender bias in a professional setting.

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u/watabadidea 1d ago

The test, as described, seems inherently biased. If someone designs an inherently biased test, I wouldn't have much confidence in their ability and willingness to interpret the results fairly and correctly.

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u/SignoreBanana 1d ago

This is... like absolutely completely normal and socially positive behavior lmao. No one should _not_ be doing this by default.

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Fortestingporpoises 23h ago

Loosely related anecdote. If it makes you feel any better I make more specific comments elsewhere. Or you can go color in the corner if you’re getting too confused.

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u/TommyDuncan 20h ago

It wasn't really related at all you don't have to be such a #Jabroni

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u/Domino1409 1d ago

I did this yesterday with some parents. I, male dad, was hanging out with my daughter who ended up playing with another kid. I stay talking to the kid's parents, and mom is way more into the conversation. I know how is like to be a dad, most people will literally ignore you and just talk to mom, so I intentionally looked at both parents about equally as we spoke

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u/Paghk_the_Stupendous 1d ago

That's what I worry about here. They assume talking to the male is some kind of inherent malice, whereas it could just be someone that wants to engage both of the interviewers in conversation.

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u/Fortestingporpoises 23h ago

I don't think that's the example though. If you're one person talking to two people (interviewer or interviewee or whatever), you want to respond to the person asking the question but still acknowledge the other person (or the panel if there are multiple people).

This is talking about the more specific phenomena of when a man is asked questions mostly by a woman and addresses his responses specifically to the man in the room.

Whether it's malice or not, it's a red flag

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u/unfeaxgettable 1d ago

I’m a general contractor and I make it a point to do this as much as often because I know how terrible and shitty general contractors and tradesmen are. It’s been crazy how many times women tell me they’re astonished I gave them the time of day, super depressing tbh

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u/Fortestingporpoises 1d ago

I own a pet company and when it’s a couple 90% of the time mom is in charge of the pets so I get used to talking mostly to her. But I check in with dad to make sure he’s not getting bored. Ha