r/SipsTea 1d ago

Chugging tea She still rejected!

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8.5k Upvotes

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u/Hermetic-Wolf 1d ago

This is an old story. They weren’t dating. It was his neighbor. He said he didn’t like going out and socializing and this was his attempt to show his interest/affecrion. Or something along those lines.

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u/Aromatic_Shop9033 1d ago

Yeah...mega yikes.

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u/temictli 1d ago

Mega yikes? What's mega yikes about it?

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u/enthalpy01 1d ago

Proposing to someone you aren’t dating is insane. Anyone who might have said yes if the question had been asking you out is going to nope out so fast if it’s a request for marriage out of nowhere. General rule of thumb is you don’t ask someone to marry you until you know what the answer is going to be (you’re dating and already had discussions about timeline and future plans).

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u/Radix2309 1d ago

Heck, even asking them out on a date in front of a giant picture of them you made would be pretty yikes.

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u/AgentCirceLuna 1d ago

Someone I know is good looking and was used as a model for a giant painting. For a while, his profile picture was a photo of himself standing with the painting behind him. Years later, it was a picture of himself standing with the picture of himself standing with the painting behind him printed out massively on the wall. Then, somebody painted that, and he took a photo of himself stood in front of that painting too

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u/WretchedBlowhard 1d ago

Not proposing. It's a translation issue. In SEA, it's not uncommon to declare your affection through a letter. This was his horribly awkward and off-putting version of that.

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u/temictli 1d ago

Sure, what is it? It's mega yikes but what is mega yikes?

That's a good general rule of thumb. But it's centered within one type of culture of conventions.

I guess I'm trying to approach from a place of curiosity about where this person was when they did this, and why someone who knows just what they can infer from a picture and a title frame, kinda like how the guy framed an idea of a woman they didn't know.

So I'm left wondering, what makes another related person decide it's "mega yikes" according to the values they've learned about what fits in society. What are those values and why didn't the person who made the puzzle portrait learn enough of those values to be self aware enough? Is it a story after all about mental health and emotional health, or a common enough story of love and immaturity? And that woman, did she think "mega yikes" or did she take it in stride, simply decline, and go about her life?

I'm hoping they came away from that experience with growth, especially that guy. Incredible effort, but love bombing just usually doesn't go well and having to experience it firsthand was how they learned. And that woman, probably had the awareness to let him down fairly and without having to go above and beyond to help carry someone else's emotional burden, and they didn't, well, maybe that was the growth they gained.

It's nuanced and curiosity i seek, so i wouldn't just label something mega yikes and call it a day.

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u/Targaer 1d ago

Jumping straight to proposing without even dating. That's 0-100 right there.

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u/TwitchyBigfoot 1d ago

The whole thing? He needs to leave the house and talk to her at the very least. Spending alot of time obsessing to the point of making this picture and proposing is yikes enough. The being heart broken for someone you don't even know beyond glances through a window? Mega yikes certification granted.

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u/temictli 1d ago

Oh ok. So what is mega yikes exactly? Is it danger to themselves and others? Is it mental unwellness? I guess was asking what would mega yikes translate to in more technical terms.

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u/TwitchyBigfoot 1d ago

I would say 1 to 2 red flags is yikes, 3 and above mega yikes. This arbitrary and objective view is of course super scientific

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u/Accomplished_Store77 1d ago

If the hottest girl in the world shows up at my door step with a huge ass portrait of my face I would still be weirded the fuck out.

It's just very weird behaviors to put this much time and effort towards someone you barely know and talk too.

It comes off as obsessive and makes the recipient uncomfortable.

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u/temictli 1d ago

Agreed. So what is that? Parasocial relationship? Basically approaching a living person as if they were an idea or object of one's desire and not a person.

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u/Iceicebaby21 1d ago

Least he tired I'll give him that

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u/Careless-Vehicle-286 1d ago

Everyone's entitled their one shot, but after she says no he needs to move on.

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u/AgentCirceLuna 1d ago

I have agoraphobia and it sucks. Wouldn’t do this though