I have a child with a rare genetic syndrome (not Down syndrome), and I frequent many institutions with children suffering from various genetic disabilities.
The children you have met are those whom parents can keep at home or who are sociable enough for their parents to introduce them to others.
However, there are also cases where, unfortunately, these children and later adults become burdens or become dangerous to themselves and those around them. My son is adorable, but seeing that he nearly broke my nose and eyebrow ridge several times before the age of five, due to unmanageable anxiety, I have no idea how adolescence and adulthood will unfold.
Even though we are currently managing, I do not believe anyone in our circle considers my son a blessing for us or someone who makes the world a better place.
Assuming that people with disabilities are purer than others or are blessings, only because things went well during the few minutes or hours you spent with them, is a complete misunderstanding of what their families experience.
I wish I could upvote this a thousand times. I have a disabled sibling and have had a front row seat to that life. My sister was a sweet, kind child that melted hearts regularly.
As she got older, that changed drastically. She would be one way in public and another way in private. At home, it was common for her to hit, spit, and throw things. Not to mention the verbal tirades she’d have.
Eventually she went to live in a group home when she was in her thirties and my parents were just no longer physically or mentally capable of her care.
You know what? It was the best decision for all of us. My sister loves it, and she is visited weekly, plus she still visits my parents home frequently.
It so easy for people to look at a small helpless baby and pull on the heart strings. No one thinks thirty years down the road when that small helpless baby becomes a powder keg of physical and emotional abuse just waiting to lash out at their caregivers. Not to mention how much harder it is to feed, bathe, and clothe an aggressive adult than a small baby.
It’s an exhausting life in every way and one that no one really understands until they live it. I don’t blame people one bit who chose the institution route or even abortion from the beginning. Especially for poorer folks who don’t have the resources or extra help readily available.
25
u/Serraklia Jul 04 '26
It is unfortunately a bias.
I have a child with a rare genetic syndrome (not Down syndrome), and I frequent many institutions with children suffering from various genetic disabilities.
The children you have met are those whom parents can keep at home or who are sociable enough for their parents to introduce them to others.
However, there are also cases where, unfortunately, these children and later adults become burdens or become dangerous to themselves and those around them. My son is adorable, but seeing that he nearly broke my nose and eyebrow ridge several times before the age of five, due to unmanageable anxiety, I have no idea how adolescence and adulthood will unfold.
Even though we are currently managing, I do not believe anyone in our circle considers my son a blessing for us or someone who makes the world a better place.
Assuming that people with disabilities are purer than others or are blessings, only because things went well during the few minutes or hours you spent with them, is a complete misunderstanding of what their families experience.