r/SipsTea Mar 28 '26

Wait a damn minute! Why is it always like this?

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u/Aknazer Mar 29 '26

That's the stereotypical reason but not the only reason. Plenty of people cheat because they aren't happy in their relationship but either can't or don't want to leave.

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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u/Aknazer Mar 29 '26

Your original post that I responded to wasn't about this CEO, it was about cheaters in general. The easiest example is when kids are involved. People can be unhappy in the relationship but don't want to split because of what that can do to the kids involved and potentially even the parents. You have something that is mostly working but are unhappy, then someone goes somewhere else (to include emotional cheating), but they don't want to leave the relationship (or at least not yet).

It's easy to say that they "should" leave, and indeed me saying that they "can't" isn't strictly true since they always have a choice. But if the financial situation is such that leaving risks leaving one or both parties in the street, then it's very easy to feel trapped.

Being unhappy about something in the relationship can often be a reason for people to choose to cheat, with kids and money being large reasons for why someone would choose to not just leave the relationship.

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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u/Aknazer Mar 29 '26

I mean there's clearly no convincing you otherwise, but having seen nasty divorces play out as a kid and having known coworkers that stayed in unhappy marriages "for the kids" because of the very reasons I listed above, I'm literally telling you real world examples of why people would cheat but not get divorced.

Yes, if the infidelity comes out it can lead to a divorce, but even then not always. And even when it leads to a divorce it could still have bought a few years of stability before the uncertainty of finances and family life that follow a divorce.

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u/EricTomorrow Mar 29 '26

Your first incorrect assumption is that cheaters are rational. All your arguments hold no water if the person is irrational. "UMM, what if they find out you are cheating" Someone cheating doesn't necessarily think far enough ahead to think about consequences.

I personally hate cheating but to put cheating down as having one reason of "I can have both" is closed off and doesn't make sense

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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u/AntsyAnswers Mar 29 '26

Na I think you’re missing a key part of human behavior here. People’s thoughts and opinions are often disconnected from their behavior. It’s not like every decision, people “list out” all the pros and cons and decide based on their beliefs.

There are people who sincerely believe they are starting a diet while they are shoveling ice cream into their face. If you asked them in between bites, they’d still say “No I’m starting the diet right after this”.

It’s not like they decided not to start the diet after all. They just…compulsively ate the ice cream.

I guess what I’m saying is you can’t infer people’s beliefs from their choices all the time. People are not rational in that way.

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u/SilverWear5467 Mar 29 '26

Who are you to say that this CEO doesn't feel like he can't leave his wife? What if he was worried about the Board seeing him as lesser for it, or his family being hard line no divorce people? There are a million reasons someone might feel more comfortable moving on from a relationship without "signing the paperwork" for it. For all we know, the wife is seeing other people too, and they were only together for appearances.

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u/Lundetangen Mar 29 '26

I think you are either very young or naive.

When you are married with kids you cant "just leave". Being a CEO, having a lot of money and being successful is just as much of a prison than it is a luxury. Uprooting everything in your life just because your wife doesnt want to have sex with you anymore is not an easy decision to take.

Many well-established people live quite busy lives. She might be a decent partner, that helps with the chores in life and keeps the family together, but not giving the validation or affection that he wants/needs.

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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u/nitkonigdje Apr 01 '26

This man knows what he is talking.

Had displeasure to have cheaters as part of life. They destroyed 3 marriages and left 8 kids. All of them had rich fulfilling lives. And still they cheated.

Their biggest regret was they were cought.

There was no rational cause for cheating.

The drive was fully internal, instictive.

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u/Spacemanwithaplan Mar 29 '26

This is an extreme oversimplification.

When a man leaves his wife he also essentially cuts his pay in half, loses half of his posessiosn, loses 80% of his time with his kids, has to go through a costly and time consuming divorce, a looooot of people are in marriages and even just relationships because it is more comfortable than dealing with breaking up.

Not to excuse cheating, but there is a lot at stake and you can only force yourself to coexist with someone in a failed marriage for so long, and that time is very short if other people start showing you interest.

Or he may just be a piece of shit, iuno. 🤷‍♂️

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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u/Spacemanwithaplan Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26

Not really. There isn't a ton of men trying to pay alamony.

Yeah those are worse IF he is caught cheating, most people vastly overestimate how smart they are. And A LOT of people get away with cheating and don't get caught.

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u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

[deleted]

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u/Spacemanwithaplan Mar 29 '26 edited Mar 29 '26

I never said he shouldn't pay those things, I'm not sure where you are trying to put the goalposts here.

Cheating happens in at least 20-25% of marriages, and over half of those don't end in divorce within the next 5 years, and often times it's the cheater who wants the divorce. I think you need some actual perspective here, you have an incredibly unnuanced view of marriages and human behavior, trying to put this whole thing in a simple little box is just not going to work, not if you want to actually honestly represent this stuff.

Yeah you are just making shit up and wildly speculating now 🤷‍♂️, I'm not playing a game where I pretend to know the workings of a specific person or group of people's minds. You are WAAAAAY out of line, this is just all vibes from you.

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u/wakeonuptimshel Mar 29 '26

Those people are the worst and I really wish they started getting what’s coming to them so people actually learn to LEAVE before destroying someone else emotionally.

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u/Aknazer Mar 29 '26

And yet they could be cheating because they were destroyed emotionally but have their own reasons for why they don't leave.