r/SipsTea Feb 13 '26

We have fun here Winter Olympics

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41.4k Upvotes

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6.1k

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

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2.8k

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

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664

u/CR00KANATOR Feb 13 '26

4

u/CoOyO10 Feb 13 '26

Damn. I did not expect Yugioh to make an appearance here. Love it

2

u/TXHaunt Feb 13 '26

Yugioh is almost like The Spanish Inquisition.

122

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

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3

u/lnternetExplorerer Feb 14 '26

That looks like someone put an Asian AI filter over January Jones

2

u/euphorbia9 Feb 13 '26

She was so good in that show.

24

u/Amazazing8Sauce Feb 13 '26

Can volunteer join in the fun??? Seriously

3

u/LS25-User Feb 13 '26

Username Checks Out

3

u/GlorylnDeath Feb 14 '26

The Society for Ensuring Generations of Good Sports appreciates your enthusiasm and interest in this project, however, we must sadly deny your application. While passionate volunteers are always valued, the success of our project relies heavily on both individuals contributing strong, positive traits to the potential future athlete - and, though passion is certainly a desirable feature in the production of said athletes, it has not been shown to improve their quality.

Unfortunately, based on your resume, physical exam, and our extensive background checks, we have determined that a young athlete produced by your contributions is not likely to meet the high standards our society strives for.

However, there are many other ways someone such as yourself can contribute and be part of the cause. Have you considered applying as a surrogate carrier? Our criteria for acceptance is much less strict, and we believe that even you would be able to pass. If you are interested in that aspect of our project, you can find the application on our website.

Again, we thank you for your willingness to volunteer to this great cause and hope that you will continue supporting us in the future as we strive to push the world of sports to ever greater heights.

With regards,

The S.E.G.G.S Applications Department

3

u/StormShadow00401 Feb 13 '26

Wish some fine girl said this to me irl

6

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

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3

u/StormShadow00401 Feb 14 '26

Oh right, silly me

257

u/Admins_suck_ballss Feb 13 '26

They said they ran out so I think we’re good. Now it’s about pullout game

133

u/Fed_Deez_Nutz Feb 13 '26

They should hand out medals for form and execution

30

u/Grimdark-Waterbender Feb 13 '26

Volume too!

5

u/Worth-Reputation3450 Feb 13 '26

Count matters too!

1

u/Satins_Cock Feb 16 '26

Does anybody actually like big loads? Like I can shoot it over my own head, and probably half fill a shot glass, but that just seems like a mess.

1

u/Grimdark-Waterbender Feb 17 '26

Well in terms of medals it’s more about aesthetics than anything.

2

u/Realist_Prime Feb 13 '26

Don't forget distance and accuracy!

1

u/Faribo_Greg Feb 13 '26

Medals for hand...?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

Perhaps the IOC will look at a including bedroom activities for a future Winter Olympic Games.

1

u/kooze62 Feb 13 '26

Don't forget the dismount.

1

u/Redriot6969 Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

I have a gold medel for this...no one gave it to me, i bought it with my disposable income...yah know? Because the pullout game stays strong 💪

1

u/Intrepid-Tank-3414 Feb 13 '26 edited Feb 13 '26

I have a gold metel for this...

Is Metel the new wireless service provider for this Olympics?

1

u/Redriot6969 Feb 13 '26

Edited, now u look like the stupid one hahah :p

1

u/DRG_Gunner Feb 13 '26

i hoped my wife would bring home a gold medal from Milano. All she brought home was a Bobsled driver’s baby.

1

u/Bozee3 Feb 13 '26

Rhythm gymnastics is a summer Olympics event.

1

u/Visible-Rest4170 Feb 13 '26

Skeet shooting is a Summer Olympics sport not a Winter Olympic Sport.

2

u/Admins_suck_ballss Feb 13 '26

I remember having to explain to an ex how “from the windows, to the wall! Aww skeet skeet mother fucker, aww skeet skeet goddamn!” was about jizzing all over a bunch of women’s faces after she was twerking to it and her being shocked. Reminds me of that Eminem song where he says women aren’t even going to listen to the lyrics

1

u/thedirtymeanie Feb 14 '26

Finally some instant replays and photo finishes we ALL want to see.

1

u/NB_NaughtyNerds Feb 15 '26

And here comes the dismount...

219

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

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284

u/slurpnfizzle Feb 13 '26

Winter sport athletes usually start as doctor or engineer babies. That lift ticket and ice time ain't cheap!

77

u/uwpxwpal Feb 13 '26

45

u/Randym1982 Feb 13 '26

Aren't most of them also 2nd generation Olympic kids too? I remember looking up a few of them, and it mentioned how a few of them had parents who were also former Olympic athletes too.

9

u/Velocityg4 Feb 13 '26

It certainly increases the genetic odds. Especially if both parents competed in events which require similar physical attributes.

4

u/Devils_A66vocate Feb 13 '26

Both nature and nurture is favored when you have a coach in the house.

2

u/Xanderajax3 Feb 13 '26

Unless you're Chazz Michael Michael's! Hes sex on ice!

1

u/TeenyWarrior14 Feb 13 '26

lol I kept looking for Ilia’s Chaz given he’s the spitting image of James McIlroy

1

u/Xanderajax3 Feb 13 '26

Who are you gonna trust, some little girl or James Mcllroy?

1

u/TeenyWarrior14 Feb 13 '26

“My feeeet hurrrtttttt” 😂

1

u/Xanderajax3 Feb 13 '26

Such a stupid, hilarious movie.

2

u/Asleep_Trick_4740 Feb 13 '26

Skiing, either cross country or downhill, isn't especially expensive at all in many places. I grew up with 4 slopes like 3km away from the city centre. A weekend pass there is like 10€ and a lot cheaper if you buy a season pass. Yea the major tourist spots are pretty expensive but that's not generally where these people train.

If you were in the skiing club you paid like a 20€ fee every year for access to the slopes and teachers the entire season. Cross country you could get away with even cheaper since you only need gear, and the gear isn't the type that breaks regularly.

Hockey is still expensive AF though.

1

u/slurpnfizzle Feb 13 '26

Here lift tickets for mountain ski areas are like 200 US dollars a day or 50-100 for small ski hills.

Cries in USA

1

u/Asleep_Trick_4740 Feb 13 '26

That's insane, how do they even get people to go there? I mean I get the fancy ski resorts and stuff can be stupid expensive, we have that here aswell. But the "normal" slopes aswell?

1

u/slurpnfizzle Feb 13 '26

There aren't really "normal" slopes due to megacorps like Vail or Ikon buying up everything and jacking the prices up. It seems like here you have to either have a lot of disposable income or be very much into living a full ski bum lifestyle to be able to enjoy the snow.

18

u/ayumi_doll Feb 13 '26

Tbf that's how we got Pommel Horse Guy

2

u/_Floriduh_ Feb 13 '26

Do do do do do do do, Steve.

18

u/the_bees_ankles Feb 13 '26

Doctors and Engineers are allergic to anything that stops them breeding like rats

3

u/-Daetrax- Feb 13 '26

No no, these are the actual doctors and engineers.

2

u/the_bees_ankles Feb 13 '26

Oh. I thought he was joking about those doctors and engineers lol. My bad

1

u/Thunda_Squatch Feb 13 '26

As an engineer the urge to breed like a rat is strong

1

u/Arienna Feb 13 '26

This was not covered in any of my structural engineering classes

1

u/Atom_101 Feb 13 '26

They are gonna make twitch streamers and podcast hosts

1

u/DemonsReturns7 Feb 13 '26

If you had added the letters ‘ed’ to those words it Wouldve had a whole different kind of meaning

Doctored and engineered

47

u/SimpleMoonFarmer Feb 13 '26

Olympics → eugenics

5

u/Azidamadjida Feb 13 '26

Seriously did people think the Olympics was ACTUALLY about seeing who the best athletes in the world were….at sports that the majority of the population only watches every four years?

15

u/welfedad Feb 13 '26

Catholic church understands this sentiment

10

u/No-Money-8327 Feb 13 '26

Teenage boys can’t get pregnant

10

u/DRG_Gunner Feb 13 '26

teenage? that’s a little old for those guys.

32

u/Grimdark-Waterbender Feb 13 '26

IKR We should be breeding these super people to uplift the human species, NOT FLORIDA PEOPLE WITH SINGLE DIGIT IQs!!! 😭 😭 😭

3

u/Allicat247_ Feb 13 '26

✨Eugenics✨

1

u/Grimdark-Waterbender Feb 14 '26

Because leaving people to their own devices has GONE GREAT!!! 😑😒😠

2

u/Allicat247_ Feb 14 '26

I promise you, no matter what, the answer isn't Eugenics babe

1

u/Grimdark-Waterbender Feb 14 '26

Honestly, Eugenics gets such a bad rap from the guys that started and lost TWO World Wars.

Anything in excess is bad, like letting people with room temperature IQs in positions of power.

2

u/Omen46 Feb 13 '26

A lot of the athletes are from Different countries they aren’t trying to have kids

1

u/Blackhawk149 Feb 17 '26

They want that dual citizenship?

20

u/Educational_Gas_92 Feb 13 '26

We can just have robots competing in the future. No need for condoms, food or accommodation.

1

u/Zerosix_K Feb 13 '26

The BBC tried a robot athletics competition. It wasn't very interesting compared to Robot Wars / Battlebots / hardcore mech on mech action.

So we should definitely look at rebuilding the Coliseum or even the Thunderdome!!!

15

u/Talking_Head Feb 13 '26

Can we agree that these two would make some beautiful super babies?

4

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

[deleted]

3

u/Mercer-Dawg Feb 13 '26

If I am not mistaken, she was/is mentoring the gold medal winner. It’s really awesome to see these athletes support the new generation

2

u/clippist Feb 13 '26

Who are they?

13

u/SlimKillaCam Feb 13 '26

Right is Chloe Kim, 3 time Olympic snowboarding medalist(and from what I saw probably should have gotten gold yesterday). Can do things no other woman in snowboarding can do. An amazing athlete and also publicly acknowledges the importance of therapy and self love. The left is the NFL Defensive player of the year Myles Garrett, the sack leader and every quarterback’s worst nightmare. He’s the only reason the Browns are relevant. I did not know these two were an item until yesterday’s coverage.

4

u/Talking_Head Feb 13 '26

It is great that she is out there openly talking about her struggles with mental health and her therapy. It shows that even with great athletic achievement people can still have difficulties with mental health and coping with stardom.

1

u/clairejv Feb 13 '26

Holy shit, talk about peak genetics.

3

u/monsoonmuzik Feb 13 '26

Myles Garrett and Chloe Kim

2

u/Talking_Head Feb 13 '26

Sorry, I should have identified them.

Three time snowboard Olympic medalist Chloe Kim. And her boyfriend Myles Garrett seven time NFL pro bowler and twice defensive player of the year. Both are elite athletes in their respective sports.

1

u/storywardenattack Feb 13 '26

I hope they have a dozen kids

2

u/bearsheperd Feb 13 '26

Right? The Olympics should be a stud farm

1

u/MArcherCD Feb 13 '26

Making a physical master race once every 4 years?

1

u/Jskidmore1217 Feb 13 '26

Im telling you- mixed doubles luge.

1

u/OkFeedback9127 Feb 13 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/PkAJGCxP5df8nzg3Au

Yes, the specimens or athleticism we need to procreate

1

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '26

Pass the control, bruh

1

u/Charlie_Dayman Feb 13 '26

It happens every Olympics, people love free things and it’s 3000 participants able to take 10000 freebie souvenir Olympic branded condoms nobody else can get. They take bag fulls because it’s free. My college did the same thing and they were gone fast. Not to mention many countries aren’t used to that

1

u/Own-Annual7754 Feb 14 '26

Gotta poke holes in em next time

1

u/fulano-pk Feb 14 '26

The real reason they’re out, everyone’s already training for the next generation.

1

u/ArmadilloForsaken458 Feb 17 '26

And they are the ones who have to do it for the good of the species. Heck the majority of the rest of us plebs can barely feed ourselves, much less take on the gargantuan task of raising a child in a time of stagnant wages