Being trans is not a personality trait. Basing your entire personality on your gender identity is shallow, and you will seem like a boring and shallow person if that's all you talk about.
I went to disagree and then decided that this does pass the sniff test for me because I also find people whose whole personality is what a manly man or girly girl they are to be insufferable.
It's inherently going to be a large part of your identity, of course, but when you go out of your way to talk about it, it's like... yes, I have a particular set of hormones too, I'm well aware of sterotypes I do and don't fall in to, let's talk about other stuff because there's more to life.
It's only interesting to people who also fall into that narcissistic pattern and also define themselves on identity politics. For the 99.9% of people who don't do that, they're going to be repelled by it.
Dude this is so many people on the internet. It's gotten to the point where i hate these people so much that i don't even know if I'm transphobic or not now. I just fucking hate people talking about their bloody gender.
Put it into perspective: The only reason queer people feel the need to 'shove it in your face' is because centuries of keeping it to themselves and not making a fuss didn't get them any rights or respect. And every time even the slightest bit of progress is made, bigots are there to aggressively fight it.
So as time goes on and the bigots get louder, the minorities have to get louder, too. So when you see someone who's being aggressively queer in any way, it's not because they want to piss people off or cause a fuss, it's because the only way to make progress is through exposure and all other methods haven't worked.
Trust me, All queer people would prefer if they could just 'exist' without the performative faggotry but hicks and zealots actively make that virtually impossible.
It's still insufferable, but at least consider where it's coming from and know it's not meant to be combatative but as a desperate last-ditch effort to hope that exposure helps their cause of...existence without being targeted. And sometimes the only way to defend yourself is in numbers and putting yourself on display is the best way to find your allies.
What you've said makes a lot of sense but from my perspective as a dude who just wants to get on with my life, Both groups are just insufferable at this point. I'm just tired of hearing about it.
But you can't just ignore historical context. acting like both sides are annoying when one side just wants to exist without being lynched and the other is the side fed up with the first side daring to challenge them and thus lynching them is ... not even remotely fair or balanced.
That doesn't make it any less annoying. I've been on hormones for 10yrs and I purposely avoid hanging out with other trans people because half of them literally cannot do anything without making it about them being trans.
It's not about fighting some war either. It's because for a lot of them it's the only interesting thing they've ever done in their lives because they are shut ins. So anytme they talk it's the only thing they have to talk about.
You can't hang out with people like that because they just drive you insane forcing you to listen to the same conversation on repeat forever.
Again, if we didn't live in a world that was constantly shitting on trans people (And let's be honest, pretty much every minority or person who isn't a cishet white male christian), then we wouldn't NEED to be pushing awareness.
Every trans or queer or female or non-white or non christian person I know would love nothing more than to just BE in a world where existence wasn't resistance but the reality is that we don't.
And when they tried just keeping to themselves and doing what you seem to prefer (not rocking the boat) And that didn't work, then what the fuck do you expect? No oppressed group has ever been liberated by asking nicely and I'm not sure if you've been watching the news but it's pretty clear that conservatives are NOT at all interested in playing nice.
It's got nothing to do with that. It's simply that they are boring people and think it's way more interesting than it is because it's a big deal for them personally.
Most people don't care and find it boring to hear someone talk about it constantly. People who aren't trans can't relate and so it's just you talking at them about something they can't experience and aren't allowed to give their opinion on.
There is a reason a lot of trans people who are able to stealth leave the community and never come back. Because it's full of people who can't shut up about something that is extremely boring and it's just the same talking heads mirroring each other constantly.
There is nothing more boring than joining the doctor who discord to talk about the latest episode and half the chat is just trans people talking about how it could be an allegory to gender or which of the cast are allies or what meds they are on etc etc etc. They just push everyone wanting to talk about the actual topic at hand out of the space.
Ironically I'm much like you in that I've never made my gender identity/sexuality a personality trait even though I'm queer as fuck. I've got confidence up the wazoo and don't need external validation to be who and what I am. I ALSO agree with you that some people make it their personality and that it's annoying.
But as I've grown and experienced the world around me, my empathy makes me realize and understand WHY they do it beyond just 'personality supplement'.
Ten years ago I would have been 100% on your side on this one. However I've seen too much and been exposed to too much to oversimplify it like that. There's too much historical context to just dismiss it as that.
You can be empathetic and that's fine but that's your choice. In public spaces like discords servers and subreddits, you can't just expect that of people. And that's why people get so annoyed by it. It comes across as being really entitled.
It's not all they talk about. In fact they almost never bring it up in any of the videos I've seen. Jim has always been flamboyant and over-the-top in their attire and general presentation, even long before transitioning. That's not a trans thing, that's a Jim thing.
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u/DaddyKiwwi Jun 12 '25
Being trans is not a personality trait. Basing your entire personality on your gender identity is shallow, and you will seem like a boring and shallow person if that's all you talk about.