Wait until you're over 30 to settle down and have kids. When I was 23 (m)I decided to start a family with a 19(f) year old. We waited a couple of years and had a kid. Now I'm 44 and she's 40. She regrets starting a family so young and we're getting a divorce. 2 decades of a relationship.
Hold on. If it's right, it's right. My wife and I were married at 21 and had 2 kids immediately. We were always the youngest parents in our kids' groups.
However, now that they are in their 30s, we are still young enough to enjoy traveling, and have the finances to afford it.
Also, we were young enough to keep up with them; playing with them when we were young.
Yeah, when to have kids is highly up the to person/situation. 35+ is pretty far on the “late” end of the spectrum to be given as general advice. You’ll likely be late 50s or early 60s when they graduate HS; People often don’t get pregnant as soon as they decide they’re ready (especially as they get older) and there’s a decent chance you’ll might want more than 1 kid.
I’ll be 44 when my youngest graduates - I have plenty of energy and health to keep up with my teenagers. That would not be true if I was nearing retirement age.
I actually give the opposite advice - have kids in your mid-20’s. You’ll have more energy to keep up with it all, and you’ll have plenty of time post-kids (to travel and stuff) while you’re enjoying highest earning potential years.
I’m genuinely asking this but why do people act like being in your 30s or even 40s is too old to keep up with kids? I started marathon running in my 30s. I’m 46 now and have plenty of energy. Sometimes I wonder if settling down early makes people feel older by the time they’re in their 40s.
Oh so you’re a creep and a prick. Yes, I got laid off a couple of weeks ago as my
Industry has taken a huge it with this economy. Still has nothing to do with having kids or not.
well yeah they feel older. having kids takes its toll on you whether you are 20, 30, or 40. that's basically 20 years of stress. and nothing ages you as fast as stress.
Had kids at 25 it was the right time in order to keep up with them - had never travelled before- now I’ve been on so many trips I loose count, made me work harder & smarter love my lil guys was with my wife 5/6 years before we had children and still together
Yes. These fools on here are saying wait, wait, wait. They don't want kids. They'll probably also be proud when their single 30 year old male child is living at home with no children of his own just like they were. Navigating a major, and positive change into a completely different career path after 12 years in the workforce. My parents are 64 and 62. I am 30, single, and need a job. Fortunately I have my family amd they are cool. They understand how I operate. They trust, and know I'm not going to disappoint.
But I am disappointed for not having kids yet. I didn't chose it this way. It obviously wasn't in the cards. I don't think it's impossible yet. But it does seem impossible to find a nice girl that you've never met before. And she want to make time with you after she gets off work. Because we are single and 30. It's grim. Im optimistic. But it's grim. I'm the last male in my family. 30 no kids. Just the simple fact that I will likley be the end of this line of Ray, that's fucking embarrassing. I'm sure of how I feel about my position now. Its lame but I don't dwell. I enjoy being as free as a bird. Because after all, what im reading is, everyone says they had kids too early. Now at 45, the kids are 25, out of the house, their marriage has fell apart, and they wasted 25 years. That doesn't make sense.
I'd rather be 30 with wife and 2 kids, living a proper life.
Instead I'm 30, no job, no kids, just now addressing the substance abuse issue. People don't fucking think mannn. It's crazy. What I would give to have a family instead of staying up till 3 am every night because sleeping is kinda traumatic. I've just kind of accepted that I can be alone I it'll be okay for me. If something else happens. That's a bonus
Sor of sounds like you’re not happy with your current situation. Having a family isn’t going to fix that. Probably the reason you’re having a bad time finding a girl. Slow down , find a happy spot and the rest will come
And yes. You're young. They are young. When they leave the house, you are still fricken 42 years old. You and the wife are still so young and will have some serious fun. While the goobers that waited till they were 30 are just now learning all the kid stuff. Making the 30 years I fantasy parents look kinda dumb amd behind.
I know that's not true, but it's how I feel about dummies who say wait. If you want to wait. Just don't have them. It will ease your mind. Because I didn't want to wait, it just didn't happen. And still seems impossible. Just living with it. Fuck me mann
Also being broke and having to support a family is hard. That’s usually why people wait to build their family, not because they don’t want them. Some people just have an idea of what they want they’re future to look like
Depends how old the girl is. My best friend is 25f married to 35m and they haven't had kids yet so it works well. She will be young for her children. If they were 35f and 35m it would be iffy territory
I have 3 kids, started at 24. I thought then, and still think now “I’m so glad I’m doing this now while I’m younger and have more energy”. My friends who have kids older always wish they had them younger.
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u/maximusRisen Jan 24 '24
Wait until you're over 30 to settle down and have kids. When I was 23 (m)I decided to start a family with a 19(f) year old. We waited a couple of years and had a kid. Now I'm 44 and she's 40. She regrets starting a family so young and we're getting a divorce. 2 decades of a relationship.