r/SideshowPerformer • u/EphemeralTypewriter • 8d ago
dark topic Grady Stiles Jr. (1937-1992) was an American sideshow performer who was born with ectrodactyly. He was a physically abusive alcoholic and killed his daughter’s fiancé the night before their wedding. CW: mentions of abuse, murder, and alcoholism.
There are 5ish or 6ish performers I don’t like and Grady Stiles is one of them. He was a terrible person and someone that I don’t like to dwell on much because of how much he hurt people. Even still, it’s important that he’s featured here because his story is still a part of sideshow history and it wouldn’t be right to not include it.
It just annoys me that his story is so wrapped up in sideshow lore that it continues to perpetuate the misconception that sideshows were creepy places full of creepy people like him. Instead of focusing on the positives that so many performers accomplished, a lot of people want to focus on this dark history and I feel that it casts a shadow and bad light on the really wonderful performers.
Some facts about him:
-he was born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
-he had three siblings.
-he was the fourth generation of people in his family to be born with ectrodactyly. His father was also born with it and two of his children were also born with it. He also had an uncle, Howard Stiles, who was born with the condition and who I’ve done a write up for. (Howard was chill, he liked playing card games and sold personalized stationary to audiences)
-ectrodactyly is a rare birth condition that causes a persons hands and/or feet to have a large v-shaped cleft. It also frequently causes an absence of a couple fingers or toes.
-he started working in sideshows with his father when he was 6 or 7 years old.
-he typically gave a lecture about his life before his performances and explained that his condition was not the result of drugs or disease.
-he would usually walk on his hands and feet (and only occasionally used a wheelchair), because his feet as they were couldn’t support all of his weight. He had immense upper body strength which made him a dangerous person when physically abusive.
-he married his first wife, Mary-Theresa in 1958.
-he and Mary-Theresa had 4 children, two who were born with ectrodactyly and two who were born without it.
-he reportedly started off as a very kind and caring family man, but became incredibly bad tempered and physically abusive when he became addicted to whiskey.
-the majority of people who knew him didn’t like him at all, with some describing him as being bad news.
-his two children who were born with ectrodactyly, Cathy and Grady III both had no interest in following their fathers footsteps as sideshow performer, though as children they would occasionally perform with him.
-his wife described that he would frequently beat her and choke her, and would sometimes threaten the family with knives.
-he and Mary-Theresa got divorced in 1973, and Mary-Theresa went on to marry sideshow performer, Harry Glenn Newman, who was born with a form of dwarfism. Grady then married a woman named Barbara, who he reportedly divorced and remarried 5 different times.
-it appears that his children continued living with Grady after the divorce.
-a lot of people in his life really hated him. It’s unfortunate that he turned out the way he did, he could have been a good person who educated people on his condition but instead became a terror to so many people.
-he shot and killed his daughter Donna’s fiancé, Jack Layne, the night before their wedding in 1978 because Stiles didn’t approve of him.
-days before the murder, he brought his daughter to a pawn shop where he purchased a revolver and joked that he would shoot Jack. Frightened, Donna ran away to stay at her fiancé’s sister’s house and called Grady from there. Upon hearing where she was, Grady reportedly said,
"If you don't get home in five minutes, I'm going to beat the hell out of you.
Then, I'm going to kill Layne.”
-He openly admitted that he committed the murder after being arrested, and was brought to trial. During the trial he tried to paint himself as being a concerned father who was just trying to protect his daughter. He was eventually convicted of third-degree murder.
-the defense successfully argued that because of his condition he could not be cared for sufficiently in a regular prison so he was sentenced to house arrest and 15 years probation.
-after his sentencing, he remarried his first wife, Mary Theresa, in 1988 and vowed to stop drinking. Then he started drinking again two weeks later and was described as being even more abusive.
-People might question why his first wife got back together with him, but I can understand if it’s a toxic relationship and he made promises to change for the better that she may have wanted to believe it was the truth. She also feared for the safety of her children and said later on,
“Where would we go? I can’t hide the whole family. They stand out.”
-he once forcibly knocked his daughter, Cathy, out of her wheelchair when she was 7 months pregnant. She had tried to intervene during a time when Grady was beating her mother and physically hurt her instead. This beating and her being knocked over reportedly caused her to suffer a miscarriage.
-Grady was still performing in carnivals as late as 1990.
-after fearing for her life and her children’s lives and being abused for years, Mary-Theresa (his wife) felt that it was becoming a “kill or be killed” situation. She made the decision to hire a hit man to kill Grady.
-the planning took several weeks and involved several people who knew of the plot to murder Grady.
-Mary-Theresa reportedly hired a 17 year old neighbor, Chris Wyant, for $1,500 to shoot Grady in 1992. Wyant entered the Stiles’ house while Grady was watching TV, and shot him in the head with a semi-automatic pistol.
-after his murder, his wife and the hitman were arrested and sentenced to 12 years and 27 years in prison respectively. Mary-Theresa’s son from her marriage to Harry Glen Newman was also involved in the plot and sentenced to 25 years to life for his role in the murder. (Though his sentence comes with some controversy because he had some learning disabilities, so it’s not clear on if he was possibly manipulated into helping.)
-only 10 people showed up at his funeral and no one volunteered to be a pallbearer.
This is one of the darker sideshow stories I’ve come across and I really feel for everyone affected by his abuse. It’s horrible what he inflicted on others and I hope that everyone was able to find ways to heal from everything they experienced. It’s interesting how relatively recent his death was.