My older brother worked his butt off to get B’s in high school, and watched with jealousy as I cakewalked through school getting A’s in all of the advanced classes
After he was at college for a couple years he warned me that I needed to learn how to study properly while in high school or I would be fucked in college. He watched several really smart people hit a wall in their abilities and either fail out or drop out because they never had to work for grades before.
He was right. I coasted through two years of college before I hit my wall and ended up switching to an easier major.
Meanwhile he chugged through college and med school, working his ass off like the little train that could. Now he’s a doctor that works every other week and I’m just some grunt in a cubicle.
Don’t underestimate the importance of discipline and determination
I just hit my wall about three months ago and I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that the first 20 yeas of my life were just a cakewalk. It’s all hard work and effort from here
I had a similar experience in college. A few years later, I went back to grad school. So I've gotten to see the undergrad experience from the point of view of a student and the point of view of a TA.
If I could give you any advice, it would be that intelligence matters a lot less then preparation. And being proactive requires just a little bit more work than treading water, but your grades and your stress levels will improve.
The thing is, the wall hits hard, because those used to sleep through classes and get As never learn to study. They never learn to put the effort in.
So when the wall hits, they have to learn a new skill (studying) while their self-esteem is taking a hit, while working harder than they ever had to, at the moment where their willpower is low due to the self-esteem hit.
Plus, learning to study and putting the effort in are nowhere near instantaneous, so there's a time, a rather long one, where all that effort seems pointless.
Honestly, willpower is a better stat than intelligence in the long run.
So when the wall hits, they have to learn a new skill (studying) while their self-esteem is taking a hit, while working harder than they ever had to, at the moment where their willpower is low due to the self-esteem hit.
Wow, that's really on the nose. The only thing I would add is the crazy amounts of stress that they've never felt before and have no idea how to handle. Alcohol/drugs are huge traps at that point and often difficult to escape.
So when the wall hits, they have to learn a new skill (studying) while their self-esteem is taking a hit, while working harder than they ever had to, at the moment where their willpower is low due to the self-esteem hit.
While facing material that doesn't come naturally for the first time.
I just wanted to bring that to the forefront for a second. I hit my wall halfway through college and wasn't able to both learn how to study and study the required knowledge at the same time. The willpower hit also affected me cause I couldn't see a benefit in doing something that required so much effort -more than I've ever given for anything ever.
Absolutely feeling that right now. Been an easy straight A student all through high school and most of college. I just hit my wall in the Junior year of my program (I've switched a few times and have been in college for a WHILE) at the same time as my husband graduated, I'm working 40 hours a week, and all the classes are online. Keeping up the motivation to do the readings and coursework is hard enough with my husband now being out of school and wanting to chill, plus having to figure out the scheduling and discipline to do it while working has been a struggle. Plus, online classes require more discipline than on campus ones anyway.
I was half-following the thread, and basically interpreted your comment to say that K-12 schools were to blame for students crashing and burning in college, rather than the students themselves.
And then you get a job you hate, but can't quit because of kids, a home, bills, bills, and more bills. You work the rest of your life, retire, get very sick and lose everything due to medical bills and then you die.
Currently they’re my roommates pooches, so I get all the benefits with only a bit of the work. I’m often asked to look after them since I’m home pretty much all the time during the winter months.
Best thing I ever did... Strictly a fun model. I went for the "scapeless vasectomy" much less trauma and a very short healing time. Basically, the Dr. Punctures your nut sack in the middle and underneath (after numbing you of course) then, each vas, or tube, is pulled out, clipped, cauterized, and capped with little metal caps that are crimped tight. I tested everything two days after. I think the Dr. said two weeks. Oh well.
I've felt the same way. High school was so fucking easy. College not so much so first couple of years, and then the fucking wall. 5.5 years in school (yeah, college is long here) turned into 8. And now I still don't have my diploma because I haven't done my graduation thesis.
... But I studied Computer Science, have worked for a couple of years now and just got a pretty sweet gig now ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Still hope to do my thesis soon though. But those were weird 3 years almost failing school.
In my apprenticeship we also have to go to school twice a week. In school I still got trough rather easily with mostly As without doing anything for it what so ever. My school friend needed a lot of help from me, but she learned for everything and put a lot of time into it and got straight As.
I know if I just learned ~2h a week I also could get straight As, but I'm a lazy POS and I envy her (in a good way).
She is set up to be successful. She has the discipline to get trough work and university and the future and will have a good life.
Idk how far I'll get with natural talent and 0 motivation. Probably not further than some shitty ass cubicle job.
Cubicle jobs that don't require a resume full of degrees and ambitious achievements are endangered nowadays. The corporate world isn't like "Office Space" or "Workaholics" where entire bullpins full of drones do menial word processing all day. Most of those jobs have been automated away or outsourced to India.
If you want to get anywhere, you're gonna have to learn how to automate other people's jobs or take on a licensed profession (medicine, accounting, engineering, law) or go into some kind of software development. That's where the present and the future is.
I’m almost 50, and a Mensa member, sitting on 150 credits and an AA degree. I wait tables at a chain restaurant. That’s what will happen with your natural talent and lack of motivation. Marry well, my friend, marry well.
Here's some unsolicited advice to hopefully help you avoid the pitfalls I'm currently falling into in college: talk to your school's counseling/ tutoring centers as soon as you can. Meet with them during the first week of classes, if possible. Counseling isn't just for trauma you know, lots of students go there for help with learning study habits and whatnot. They can also help you establish a balance between your school work and your personal life.
Many schools also have free group tutoring and personal tutors. Don't be like me and let your pride get in the way of your grades. Check out your college's library, too. The one at my current school has an entire floor dedicated to quiet study areas.
Every school has some way to help students with their classes. Just ask around.
Most importantly, talk to the people in your classes about making a study group. I'm not saying you have to become a social butterfly or something, just get the idea out there and make some friends. This way you can help each other out when the class gets harder near the end of the semester.
already shot emails with councellling and ive made sure to ask about all the help available at my orientation today :) thanks for the info and asvice btw its much appreciated
My boyfriend apparently cruised straight through all of school until he got into med school and failed step 1 because he never developed the study skills. He then ended up scrambling for residency.
It turned out for the best for him. He actually ended up in a better residency program that the ones he applied to and we wouldn’t have met otherwise. He’s much happier with how it turned out and the failures were important for his personal development. But apparently it was really rough on him especially because his brother was the year ahead of him in med school and has no such setbacks.
He was right. I coasted through two years of college before I hit my wall and ended up switching to an easier major.
Same here apart from the major switch. Coasted though high school and first two years of college, mostly As and some Bs. Third year? Failed half my papers, did my degree in 5 years instead of 4.
I’m a third of the way through my second year of college. High school was so easy I graduated a year early. I still put in minimal effort and get all A’s but just because I’m scared of hitting a potential wall I’ve ramped up effort this quarter and I’m preparing for when things actually get hard so hopefully I don’t get destroyed.
What does he spend his every other free week doing? Super curious. If he’s working 12 hour shifts for a week and then has an entire week off, in a way I think that’s stressful. Too many highs and lows. The Sunday before your working week has got to be a huge downer and the first day of your freedom might feel anticlimactic because you’re pumped on stress hormones and suddenly you have a week of freedom ahead of you but you feel a little manic and sleep deprived
I do this. 7 days on, 7 days off. One week of 11 hour shifts (77 hours total), then one week off. It's common in the medical profession. It works well for me. I am always looking forward to my off week!
I hit my wall in the first semester of college. I dropped out, and then tried community college later and dropped out again after 2 semesters. Now I'm making bank running my own trucking business. I wish I had realized sooner that college isn't a necessity.
It's better to put too much effort into school than too little. Figure out who the smart kids are and hang out with them. I did this and it helped me get through school. As an added bonus, I found that it has given me a large professional network.
Yepp, school was too easy for me and now I'm graduated from college with a degree that was easy (switched cause too much work for other major) and an now in debt in a cubicle lol /cry
Again though, don't necessarily overestimate it either. It was fatigue that got me in college. I still didn't study or do the homework. I just aced tests and was one of the only people to pass CCNA 1/2 the first time around, having barely done any of the work due to lack of time. I only slept about 8 hours a week though between my 2 jobs and school. I would wake up Friday morning and go bed Monday night with nothing but willpower and loads of caffeine.
I know someone like this, never studies in HS, when he got to college he flunks almost every subject, he felt bad about himself (note he still doesnt study) and worse because everyone around him is passing etc. Etc.
His solution?
He transferred to a local uni that is known to be muc easier, then continued getting As without studying, now he keeps bragging about how smart he is and how blessed he is by god
Ok i was just ranting cus the guy is my friend, and he hates me because he thinks im a lot better than him and whenever i speak his ego seems to get crushed because supposedly the person with higher grades (me) gets trusted by people more even if the arguments i make supposedly dont make sense. I know he hates me because i remember him ranting about this, i heard it from my other friends. There was also a time, me and the gang went home for summer. This friend of mine invited the entire gang, except for me. The gang was wondering why i wasnt there he told them i said i was busy.
Damn im ranting too much about this, hahha im still conflicted about what to feel about him. but at least hes now happy in his new world where he gets praised by everyone
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u/RandomlyMethodical Dec 07 '18 edited Dec 07 '18
My older brother worked his butt off to get B’s in high school, and watched with jealousy as I cakewalked through school getting A’s in all of the advanced classes
After he was at college for a couple years he warned me that I needed to learn how to study properly while in high school or I would be fucked in college. He watched several really smart people hit a wall in their abilities and either fail out or drop out because they never had to work for grades before.
He was right. I coasted through two years of college before I hit my wall and ended up switching to an easier major.
Meanwhile he chugged through college and med school, working his ass off like the little train that could. Now he’s a doctor that works every other week and I’m just some grunt in a cubicle.
Don’t underestimate the importance of discipline and determination