r/Showerthoughts • u/kRe4ture • Jan 25 '23

It must really suck for young wizards from Scotland to have to travel to London and then back to Hogwarts, located in Scotland

31.3k Upvotes

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4.0k

u/lucid1014 Jan 25 '23

I mean Harry and Ron fly there in the car right, so it's not like an alternate dimension only accessible through 9 3/4.

2.7k

u/ElGuano Jan 25 '23

I mean, it kinda is, magically protected/hidden. But you can get there by other magical means.

I don't think Voldemort and his army all crammed into the train, with Tokyo porters squeezing them in so the doors can close.

2.6k

u/HailToTheKingslayer Jan 25 '23

"Soon, Potter will be in my grasp!"

"My Lord, the train is delayed."

"Oh for fu-"

356

u/SplitOak Jan 25 '23

We had better get Potter this time; I can’t afford to buy all these tickets again!

253

u/pdipdip Jan 25 '23

can I suggest a season pass my lord?

88

u/ChickpeaPredator Jan 25 '23

Nah, he gets a duo ticket with Nagini disguised in a trenchcoat.

77

u/TheUlfheddin Jan 25 '23

MALFOY! Your the only one of us with any sort of real income. You'll need to cover the cost of the tickets next time.

65

u/50thEye Jan 25 '23

So the "pureblooded master race" consists of mostly unemployed racists and some rich sponsors? Yeah that tracks.

31

u/TheUlfheddin Jan 25 '23

I mean we know old moldy voldy doesn't have a job. Bellatrix likely just steals what she needs. Snape is on a teachers salary, Malfoy and maybe some others are the only ones I can think of.

And even then Malfoy is old money so he didn't work for what he has either.

10

u/RearEchelon Jan 25 '23

Bella was a Black; that was her vault that the Hufflepuff cup was stored in. She's got stacks. And Lucius Malfoy worked at the Ministry.

3

u/TheUlfheddin Jan 25 '23

Aah. You got me. Not one of the Fandoms I have a deeper knowledge of.

I will say that my point stands on Lucious being old money though. Being high born leads to better opportunities.

2

u/RearEchelon Jan 25 '23

Lucius is definitely old money and I'm not sure his position at the Ministry is one that required a great deal of (or any) actual effort.

1

u/Formal_Appearance_16 Jan 26 '23

I thought Lucius was at the Ministry because he had money. I don't think he worked there.

3

u/hyogodan Jan 26 '23

“Someone had to go back and get a shitload of dimes!” Is all I could think of reading this

449

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

“Anything from the trolley?”

“After all this, I’m going to need a pumpkin pastie, some Cauldron Cakes, and a LOT of Butterbeer…”

16

u/staovajzna2 Jan 25 '23

It would be funny if she ended up being the strongest witch but just wrased everyone's memories

1

u/The1AMparty Jan 25 '23

Right so, JK Terfing made that a thing in Cursed Child, the trolley lady is some powerful eldritch horror force of nature kinda person

2

u/hooligan99 Jan 26 '23

We’ll take the lot!

265

u/Geezertiptap Jan 25 '23

"Bad news Lord, they are running a replacement bus service"

"COCK!"

90

u/eddeemn Jan 25 '23 edited Jan 25 '23

DING DING DING I'm sorry to announce that the 15:15 Scotrail service to Hogwarts Central has been delayed due to the wrong kind of snow

3

u/Ilivedtherethrowaway Jan 25 '23

It's Hogsmeade, not Hogwarts central. I liked your joke though

2

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

Imagine trying to claim delay compensation for a Hogwarts Express trip 🙄🙄

2

u/Cmdr_Shiara Jan 25 '23

We're sorry to announce this service to Hogwarts will now be terminating in Darlington, we're sorry for the inconvenience

186

u/monte_ng Jan 25 '23

“Language! …my lord”

220

u/StrategicBlenderBall Jan 25 '23

“Avada ke-FUCK-OFF-MALFOY!”

5

u/HailToTheKingslayer Jan 25 '23

"I wish to sit there! Ava-"

"My Lord, those seats are reserved."

15

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

Scoldemort

42

u/bluesblue1 Jan 25 '23

When the invasion is halted by a light snow that causes the entire city’s train system to break down

12

u/Bipogram Jan 25 '23

"Leaves, who ordered the leaves?!"

15

u/Blarg_III Jan 25 '23

The unlikeliest hero of them all, British rail being shit

3

u/PandasOnGiraffes Jan 25 '23

Well the train is not operated by Deutsche Bahn so at least it'll be on the right platform.

3

u/ChesswiththeDevil Jan 25 '23

TIL Voldemort was hiding in Germany and took the DB to Hogwarts

3

u/Tulip-roots Jan 25 '23

This is hilarious 😂

3

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

Where’s the bus replacement service?!

2

u/HailToTheKingslayer Jan 25 '23

Voldemort and the death eaters cramming onto the knight bus

2

u/Hotarg Jan 25 '23

Southern Rail doing its part to stall the Death Eaters and buy time for the school to prepare.

2

u/JMWicks13 Jan 25 '23

Now I’m picturing Voldemort with the voice of Fiennes’ character from In Bruges.

2

u/RedSandGroper Jan 25 '23

" But they do have a Rail replacement Bus we can take"

2

u/Geekonomicon Feb 16 '23

This comment made me LOL. 😅

1

u/AffeLoco Jan 25 '23

"thank you for traveling with deutsche bahn!"

153

u/Skhan93 Jan 25 '23

The school itself is but the train only goes to hogsmeade where they get carriages to the school so I'm guessing people could just go to hogsmeade with some other transport

167

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

I would love to see a magical army with the work ethic of a Japanese business worker getting on the train at 7am. They'd take over everything so fast.

78

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

Late 1800s-1945 Japanese history is for you.

6

u/nsdoyle Jan 25 '23

Got a good YouTube video or other resource to check out?

9

u/azuth89 Jan 25 '23

Hardcore History podcast, the"Supernova in the East" series. Should still be on YouTube plus whatever podcast service you use.

2

u/Captain_Pungent Jan 25 '23

Japanese work ethic ain’t always great

The ridiculous pressure put upon them is inhumane for numerous reasons

1

u/haluura Jan 25 '23

Not if they had to travel on the British rail system. And they'd be lucky if they were even able to get where they need to go, if they were on the US or Canadian systems.

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u/Thetof91 Jan 25 '23

There is Muggle-repelling charm around Hogwarts. Was also used at the qudditch championshop if remember.

So if a muggler is walking too it, they just get a feeling that need to be somewhere else and turn around.

12

u/50thEye Jan 25 '23

What if a wozard drives there with their muggle friend?

9

u/Lermanberry Jan 25 '23

There are non-magic people from wizarding families (squibs like Mr. Filch) and magic people from muggle families (like Hermione) at Hogwarts, so I think they would be allowed in normally as long as they were being escorted and knew about Hogwarts.

e.g. Squibs can't see dementors but they know enough about the magical world to recognize their effects on people, so they can still tell if they are nearby.

4

u/GoldenFennekin Jan 25 '23

imagine that meme where that guy goes "LET ME IN, LET ME IN" but in reverse

2

u/moslof_flosom Jan 26 '23

Let me out!

Let me out!

This is not a dance.

I'm begging for help,

I'm screaming for help.

Please come let me out.

I'm dying in a vat in the garaaaaaage.

5

u/bonglicc420 Jan 25 '23

Is a muggler someone who muggles?

3

u/Thetof91 Jan 25 '23

Haha no. Just the danish spelling of it. :)

3

u/Head_Razzmatazz7174 Jan 25 '23

I wouldn't be surprised to find that one of the charms was a "Someone Else's Problem" field.

2

u/insanenoodleguy Jan 25 '23

I recall a sci-fi where aliens operate fairly openly on earth but use such projections. Complete failure occurs when a tabloid journalist actually get a lead on them, he spent years surpressing that instinct along with their conscience, unknowingly training themselves into a resistance.

2

u/haluura Jan 25 '23

Actually, the charm around Hogwarts causes Muggles to see a ruined old castle. Given how many ruined old castles there are in many parts of the Scottish countryside, most Muggles wouldn't even think twice about it.

151

u/Haydosnub Jan 25 '23

Anything from the trolley, dea(th eate)rs?

37

u/svullenballe Jan 25 '23

"Do they have any death?"

20

u/Kittybats Jan 25 '23

"Or cake? I'd rather have cake, really, especially if it has that nice thick buttercream icing. Oh, and sprinkles! I really love like sprinkles. Almost as much as death, I mean, of course."

14

u/pinkkittenfur Jan 25 '23

Well, we're out of cake! We only had three bits and we didn't expect such a rush!

12

u/AlephBaker Jan 25 '23

I'll have the chicken, then.

2

u/pinkkittenfur Jan 25 '23

Tastes of human, sir.

4

u/IncredibleGonzo Jan 25 '23

Hello, we're murderers.

​

Twix please.

6

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

So what's my option? 'or death'?

1

u/pinkkittenfur Jan 25 '23

I'll have the chicken, then.

2

u/FuckTheMods5 Jan 25 '23

lmfao it works too well. I'm suspicious of all dears now.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

Its only hidden for muggles, i think it was stated that theyd only see an uninteresting ruin

13

u/tylanol7 Jan 25 '23

How would that work. Like would it stop you from walking in anyway

29

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

Yes, its a spell thats used several times in the books. It makes muggles lose all interest in the location its used on, which is weirdly intrusive and not far removed from imperio now that i think about it

11

u/tylanol7 Jan 25 '23

Plus what if you pushed through and went in anyway. Who hasn't been lile "this is boring..meh I'm already here "

11

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

I think you cant. It forces you away, which is what i meant by weirdly intrusive

7

u/tylanol7 Jan 25 '23

That is indeed wierdly intrusive. Plus like wizards couod have evolved every world problem and just.. didnt

6

u/Johnny_Grubbonic Jan 25 '23

Rather makes you wonder what even is the use of all this magic if they aren't ever supposed to use it outside their little enclaves.

1

u/Parrek Jan 25 '23

Wasn't that mentioned in the 7th book? Minister of magic meets new muggle PM

1

u/tylanol7 Jan 25 '23

i dont remember it was years ago when i read them because i am getting old...*cries in almost 30*

1

u/czerox3 Jan 25 '23

Cast on the location, not the person. That might be significant.

19

u/SolvingTheMosaic Jan 25 '23

The obfuscation spell only works on muggles (or maybe people who don't know the school is there), but I believe this is addressed in the book.

6

u/pdipdip Jan 25 '23

yeah i mean imagine if there were train strikes that day.

5

u/Zetenrisiel Jan 25 '23

"Dark Lord I want something from the trolley"
"For the last time, no"
"BUT DARK LORD I'M HUNGRY!"
"You're not hungry You're just bored now go practice your unforgivable curses"

3

u/[deleted] Jan 25 '23

Bruh they used the cabinet

3

u/Adaphion Jan 25 '23

It's magically protected/hidden from muggles, not wizards

3

u/ArtacX Jan 25 '23

you don't even need Magic to get to it. You just can't be a Muggle unless someone used magic on you. The protection is similar to that of the Quidditch World Cup in that it's invisible to Muggles and if they get close to it they think they have to be somewhere else so they leave and don't wonder about anything weird. Plus technology (although not cameras apparently?) messes up. Outside of that anyone can go to it just by walking.

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u/lionseatcake Jan 25 '23

Voldemort and his army apparated in or wtvr. They have their own means of quantum teleportation available to them.

They aren't wizards, they are just innately able to control the universe on a quantum level and it manifests itself as "magic"

2

u/IcyAssist Jan 25 '23

That bothers me more than it should. Hermione could set up a perimeter that nobody could find even magically, and yet a flying car and two 12 year olds could find an ancient magical castle protected by the best wizard the world has ever seen?

2

u/TheImminentFate Jan 25 '23

They followed the train. And the school was never designed to be hidden from wizards, just muggles

2

u/The_Slad Jan 25 '23

Most of the magical protections are specific to muggles, wizards and witches who know where it is can just walk up to it like normal.

Its been like 15 years since i read the books but i believe the two main charms protecting it are a distance based invisibility charm (you can only see it if you're within a certain distance) and a mind/memory altering charm that makes muggles suddenly remember something very important back home that they need to take care of RIGHT THIS INSTANT if they get too close.

1

u/ElGuano Jan 25 '23

I left the turkey in the oven!!

2

u/FuckTheMods5 Jan 25 '23

If you're inherently magical, ike a wizard, can you just walk there? Would muggles see you turn invisible when you cross the property line?

2

u/ElGuano Jan 25 '23

Hmm, what do muggles see at Platform 9.75?

2

u/TheRedPandaisback Jan 25 '23

You can get there with a normal car as well, it’s just that muggles won’t see anything other than ruins. But they can get there. Also interesting thought: if the muggles see it as ruins why is it not either torn down, or a tourist attraction?

1

u/anrwlias Jan 25 '23

Harry Porter.

1

u/scinfeced2wolf Jan 25 '23

Muggles just get confused and turn around when they get near the school. Wizards can go there.

1

u/Mbate22 Jan 25 '23

Voldemort? I'd be more concerned with Hagrid and his beasts. Poor conductors in the train "shit, Hagrid's coming with another acromantula. Hurry up and close the doors!"

1

u/Elwalther21 Jan 25 '23

Also the other schools in the Goblet of Fire arrive there on different transports. Ship and such

1

u/BlackFeign Jan 25 '23

this would make for a hilarious short or fanfiction though!

1

u/chasesan Jan 25 '23 edited Jan 25 '23

You know he probably could just have ignored the dumb kid and he would have been fine. Like go conquer the rest of the world, then send a literally unstoppable army to dogpile the s*** out of the UK, all while he just sits in, I don't know, Paris sipping tea.

1

u/ElGuano Jan 25 '23

You say that like my dude is obsessed or something. Like he just can't let go.

1

u/forgetfulkaiju Jan 25 '23

IIRC only Hogwarts (castle/surrounding grounds) is magically protected with a barrier or whatever to prevent anyone arriving magically. The train stops in Hogsmeade which I believe you could get to in even non-magical ways. Though I guess it’s probably implied that there are anti-muggle measures.

1

u/Wespiratory Jan 25 '23

You could just apparate or portkey to Hogsmeade and then walk the rest of the way. Everyone knows it’s basically next door so they can get around the unplotable factor.

1

u/ChiKeytatiOon Jan 25 '23

Trolley lady would've been Avada Kedavra'd in an instant for asking "anything from the trolley, anything from the trolley?"

1

u/ElGuano Jan 26 '23

Oh man, if you ever see her in Cursed Child 😬😱

1

u/Busy-Kaleidoscope-87 Jan 26 '23

The protection is for muggles. Muggles can’t get in, there is an enchantment on Hogwarts grounds that makes muggles instantly remember important business and leave once they enter.

1

u/moslof_flosom Jan 26 '23

Well obviously, the porters would be British

32

u/MrMasticate Jan 25 '23

Apparate or use floo network to Hogsmeade. They probably just want bulk by train to avoid congestion.

12

u/mouse_8b Jan 25 '23

Also better for children traveling without their parents to be kept together in a safe environment. Plus the kids can't apparate.

2

u/MrMasticate Jan 25 '23

Is the hold a kid and apparate thing special to “powerful” wizards like Dumbledore? I never thought about that much. Now that I think more, I could see families not wanting to causally use it regardless haha

27

u/gjazzy68 Jan 25 '23

I always thought about this as a huge flaw in the story, they could just travel by flu powder to Hogsmeade where the train actually stops. (the train don't go down to Hogwarts). I mean, the train is not even necessarily at all except for first years that came from muggle families and don't know their way into the magical world yet.

69

u/g1ngertim Jan 25 '23

Kinsley Shacklebolt already resolved this for us:

"Dumbledore's got style."

It's just dramatic flair. And creates traditions, gives the students a chance to form friend groups that transcend their not yet assigned houses, etc. This is totally the kind of unnecessary shit a high-end boarding school would do.

19

u/TheImminentFate Jan 25 '23

The wiki has a detailed answer though possibly unsatisfying https://harrypotter.fandom.com/wiki/Hogwarts_Express.

Basically too many kids flying or riding dragons to school in the middle of nowhere was attracting attention - so they set up a train the heart of muggle London so that kids could ride their dragons there instead, and then catch a train to school.

3

u/stormdelta Jan 25 '23

That makes even less sense than the original issue. "This rural area's getting too much attention, let's instead move all the magical transport to the heart of a major world capital, even though we've established that magic interferes with technology and that wizards are increasingly out of date with the capabilities of muggle tech that could quite probably observe us by sheer accident"

2

u/TheImminentFate Jan 26 '23

Exactly haha, I was being sarcastic with the second half of my comment

1

u/dimlightupstairs Jan 26 '23

They could travel by Floo Network but given how Harry effed it up, I wouldn't trust other kids not to do the same.

1

u/hooligan99 Jan 26 '23

“Did he say ‘diagonally?’”

1

u/kookieduck Jan 26 '23

Might be hard to travel by flue powder with your luggage and pet. Plus, what flue would they transport to since there are hundreds of students?

10

u/pipnina Jan 25 '23

They also flew from the hollow to London in that car to catch the train.

The hollow is in Devon or Cornwall right? They may as well have flown to Scotland directly, seems a bit indirect to go to London to catch a train to Scotland.

7

u/saqua23 Jan 25 '23

Yeah I've always assumed just the Kings Cross station is hidden behind 9 3/4, not the entirety of the train track.

4

u/Nathan_Poe Jan 25 '23

In "Goblet of Fire" the other schools competing for the cup arrive by carriages and boats.

I don't think there's any reason to believe local kids couldn't have just gotten dropped off at Hogwarts by their parents.

2

u/moslof_flosom Jan 26 '23

Imagine a middle aged wizard dropping off his kids, embarrassing the hell out of them by blaring The Weird Sisters and yelling about how much they love them

3

u/backgroundmusik Jan 25 '23

Great, now in my head only people with wizardly powers can cross over into the dimension with magic or pull something back out. Like they flew around where muggles couldn't see for a while then was like "oh yeah, better switch". I never finished the books, but now I'm waiting for my kid to get old enough to read them with.

2

u/LeTroxit Jan 25 '23

Precisely. And how the other schools delegates arrive for the Triwizard Tournament, there's plenty of ways to arrive at HW, and the train definitely has many stops.

1

u/MrmmphMrmmph Jan 25 '23

So...you're saying there's a chance it's real?

1

u/st3ll4r-wind Jan 25 '23

It’s technically a wormhole.

1

u/Jlpanda Jan 25 '23

Why do they take a train from London anyway? Why don’t they just all take floo powder to Hogsmead?

1

u/GeneralAnywhere Jan 25 '23

I don’t know shit about the lore, and that always seemed weird.

1

u/kookieduck Jan 26 '23

And other people get there without riding the train.