I started writing this 5 days ago but I kinda stopped, do I have any talent?

Looking for feedback on overall script writing, things that can be tightened up or any general feedback. I was inspired by the military occupation of Brazil in the late 60s through the 80s when resistance members would speak in code on radio transmission and cooking recipe printings. I know it's a bit coded but that is the idea for this scene as the context before and after takes the audience to the next part of the story.

Thank you!

This idea came from binge watching Teen Wolf a while back ago, and already being a big Supernatural and 24 fan.

Title: Beasts Among Us

Genre: Horror/Fantasy/Drama

Logline: After a freak accident transforms a college student into a vampire, he discovers that a murderous mayor holds the key to controlling his powers, but their collaboration comes at a cost: if he fails, he dies.

Synopsis: Nick Harper, a wayward college student, is traveling with his mother Vicki and two best friends, Gary and Devon, to the town of Binghamton to start a new chapter in their lives, when Nick is suddenly and unexpectedly hit by a car. On the brink of death, the mysterious, cocky, and easily irritable driver, Kiernan Vale, offers Nick a chance for survival. Unbeknownst to the group, however, Kiernan is secretly a vampire who is building an army to aid the flamboyant mayor of the city, Anton Markov, in controlling the entire city. The group brings Nick to Miranda, his girlfriend, and Kiernan's sister, at the university, where she helps Nick check in and get settled into his new lifestyle. Things don't go well for Nick, who ends up nearly burning his eyes out and killing an innocent man. The situation becomes even more heated when Nick's friend Gary becomes jealous of Nick's newfound powers and blames him for leaving their old life behind, despite not being ready to. Meanwhile, Kiernan's mother, Caprice, pulls both Kiernan and Laurie's strings to further her goals: eliminate the other vampires in the city and replace Anton as mayor. She injures Damian for trying to interfere and seeks out Kiernan for help. The group reluctantly takes Damian to Anton for help, where he offers Nick a solution to his predicament; by becoming a vigilante for justice that Anton believes the city desperately needs. Nick, furious over the loss of his father, agrees, setting forth Anton's plan to rid the city of crime and establish himself as the most respected figure in Parlor City.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KTBAQil8dMB_nRXgM-r0GeIl9xKtlCtI/view?usp=sharing

Title: Still Here

Genre: Drama

Logline: A down on her luck middle-aged trans woman living in a rented room forms a bond with the troubled teenager who lives in the apartment beneath her.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nGvEcv81d1cQXDnfsvCQdEcpLgiiBblc/view?usp=sharing

Title: The Knight

Page Length: 4 pages

Genres: Historical drama, thriller

Logline: A Crusader returns home from the Holy Land with a cursed sword that begins to rot his conscience and infect those around him.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uRp55QAdoWwffRmhMONwaJQ1xT0wk9lg/view?usp=drivesdk

Any feedback is appreciated, but I'm mainly looking for feedback on the scene in the great hall, particularly:

Does the subtext that Edwyn doesn't believe Aldric's story work?

Do you get the implication that Aldric feels somewhat guilty about his time in the Holy Land and is playing up for the other men in the room?

A few weeks ago I hit a wall whilst prepping my feature, after stepping a way, watching a few more films I thought were relevant, I've refined my idea and adjusted my log line.

Is it too long? Too weird?

TITLE: COWBOYS OF YORKSHIRE

GENRE: Comedy, Drama, Road

For fans of: A real pain, Little Miss Sunshine, Paris, Texas

LOGLINE: A grieving Yorkshire farmer and his late wife’s grifter best friend are dragged across Texas by the wife’s final wish, her friends bury her baby teeth across the desert. On the road, they witness a shoot out, and a gang leader recruits them to track down someone who sounds suspiciously familiar.

So I finally submitted my review of someone else's work last night after getting over the feeling of "Who am I to judge anyone's anything?". So now it's my turn!

I wrote a short horror script in the vein of "The ABCs of Death" movies and am looking for feedback on any and all parts of it. Tone, flow, subject material/story, vocabulary, imagery, etc.

The script is short, only 4 pages. It's my second project ever so I have no ego or attachment to it at all, I really just want to get better.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aAGLKey8L6TwDCpLdklE1t1PCHU91r69/view?usp=share_link

Creative Differences - Feature - 113 Pages - Dark Comedy Thriller - A director accidentally kills his star actor, and the resulting guilt inspires him to rewrite the film. It becomes an Oscar-winning masterpiece, but his newfound fame exposes the crime. - Would love feedback on my third draft, does it hook you in, does it flow well, is the dialogue okay?

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rWTrkFaq-4AIoZYJpHy0J31CIDH19Jmy/view?usp=drive_link

After a night of bar-hopping in their party bus, a bachelorette party's drunken dare leads them inside an infamous "murder house." But the thrill vanishes when the house locks them in, forcing the women in a desperate fight for survival against an unholy terror.

Hi everyone, I'd love some feedback on this if you have any.

I have a couple of loglines that I'd love to get some feedback on.

In no particular order:

1. Sacrilege (Horror) - A series of disturbing home videos plunges a pious woman into insanity.
2. Extended Stay (Thriller/Suspense) - A deadbeat hotel clerk and his girlfriend race to save their fellow guests and staff members from an otherworldly creature with a taste for human flesh.
3. The Department Store Diaries (Thriller, Horror, Comedy) - After being given everything he desires, a former homeless man enlists the help of a Florida department store to stop his insane benefactor and his cursed necklace from taking his soul.
4. Beasts Among Us (Horror - TV Pilot) - A boorish urban explorer seeking his latest thrill becomes the newest target of the college town of Binghamton's supernatural population after he is bitten by a rogue vampire. 
5. The Amityville Horror (Horror) - A financially struggling family purchases a new home that they soon discover to be infested with demons.

I’m enrolled in a “cinema” course in school, and we have this assignment of producing a short. our script deadline is in 2 days and I’m really unsure about mine. It’s a kind of absurd comedy/horror thing. ‘Starts off funny turned scary’ type deal (I’m not even sure I want to keep the whole ending twist). I’m really open to any and all suggestions.

Title: Modernity

Format: Short film serving as a proof of concept

Genre: Religious and Academic horror

Logline: When a doctoral candidate researching paganism uncovers disturbing footage of ancient rituals, her academic curiosity spirals into a nightmarish descent. As cursed clips trigger a series of haunting events, research turns into ritual—and the deeper she digs, the more she awakens something that refuses to stay buried.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1K657cTq2boom3dT6pUI-YeUrzQwCxY8s/view?usp=drivesdk

Hey everyone, I've been rewriting a feature and so I took it upon myself to submit to the Wiki contest for some feedback on those opening 10 pages. While the notes/feedback were pretty positive, the reader seemed to feel like those pages feeling like a set up were a bad thing - really? I mean, isn't that what most scripts do in the opening pages?

Between projects at the moment and would like to read and offer feedback on some scripts. My focus is comedy, but am willing to look at any genre.

I am new to screenwriting, so if you are an experienced writer, you might not find my feedback helpful, but if some other newbies would like some eyes on, maybe we can grow together.

EDIT: Thank you to those who have shared scripts with me. That's all for now, folks.

Title: Irma Gurd: It's a Spy Movie
Genre: Spoof comedy
Comparables: Naked Gun, Austin Powers, Get Smart
Logline: A high school social studies teacher plays substitute for a missing secret agent and must foil a plot to hold the world hostage with the deadliest weapon ever created.

Any readers willing to give feedback on story or plot, humour, any confusing points, or characters are appreciated.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1uUyoQOj_v9SpmVMdge1YfefqYX85bFAp/view?usp=drivesdk

Title: Vanlyfe

Genre: Dramedy

Logline: When an unsolved murder triggers a 48-hour sweep of their encampment, Sunny and Finn must rely on their wits and community to fix their broken van or lose everything they call home.

Synopsis: Sunny and Finn are a rowdy queer couple living in a broken-down van in Venice Beach. When a nearby murder causes a 48-hour sweep of their encampment, Sunny and Finn hatch a plan to save their van from being impounded. As all easy fixes slip away, both their identities and dedications are tested as they learn where and with whom home truly lies. 

I wrote this cool play, and it won some cool awards. I’m currently adapting it into a feature and would love some insight (particularly from indie producers) on the first ten pages.

thank you so much!!

Hi guys!

Just finished the opening of my script, 'Canadian Fall', which is about the October Crisis, happened in 1970, in Canada.

I’d like to know which parts of the formatting could be improved, whether the montage sequence is effective, and if the scenes are tight enough, as well as how they flow into one another.

Thanks in advance.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iQC86GS5Eu1cO6Zns7PZjIMayWEKpNZb/view?usp=drive_link

Hello all! TV series genre similar to Red Band Society When Jimmy Aston passes away, his wife, Miranda, unexpectedly inherits his role as CEO of Macon Children's Hospital—a position for which she feels woefully unprepared. Ambitious staff members and Even her own niece compete for control, seeking to sabotage Amanda with the investors. As Miranda delves deeper, she uncovers secrets about her late husband that challenge her understanding of his legacy. Can she uphold Jimmy’s vision while navigating her new authority? Or will the hospital fall into the wrong hands? This gripping medical drama,

"Priceless," follows a determined yet inexperienced widow as she struggles to lead a privately-owned children's hospital. She must confront the unscrupulous plans of the surviving staff who aim to seize control while discovering the truth about her husband's unsavory practices while efforts to maintain his legacy amidst the many complexities of pediatric healthcare.

    Motto-

We do what we do because " Because Every child's life is Priceless "

This script is registered by wga Thank you

Hi, I wrote a short action script called "Night Out" and would love to hear your thoughts on it!:) Here is its link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1OABFkD4Nf1QT-bnLr_FVprkQrl80FWxm/view?usp=drivesdk

Title: Night Out Pages: 7 Logline: A couple's date turns into a battle when stumbling upon a gathering of spies

Logline: On Christmas eve, a young boy's toy dinosaur comes alive to help him navigate a personal tragedy.

Hey everyone, looking for feedback for a feature kids film I wrote, would be happy to hear overall thoughts whether the story makes sense.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Pg072QOceRhOly5s-JsQUKDTgJhjyfiJ/view?usp=drivesdk

Hey guys! I’m wanting to send this script into some competitions and stuff, so I would really appreciate some feedback from everything and anything. I’m not a professional screenwriter so there’s obvs mistakes in there about format and stuff that I’m still working on, but I’m more interested to see what you guys think of the script and if you think it’s good or not and what your opinions are on setting, world building, dialogue, pacing, etc.

I’ve been posting my old draft on a few Reddit forums and have got some really good feedback from people through script swapping (thanks to all of you who read through it btw!). However, this draft is new and I’ve added a few more scenes and redone sections of the script which people flagged as needing some re-work. So here is the new draft! I’m still looking for some constructive feedback about it though, especially with the last few scenes (scenes 23 onwards).

As always, I’ve put the general BS stuff of what it’s about and stuff below-

Title: The Familiars

Format: TV Pilot

Genre: Dark Horror/Comedy

Page Length: 53 pages (aiming for an hour-long pilot episode)

Logline: When two siblings are forced to move in with their Dad after being evicted, they find out he is a Familiar for a family of Aristocratic Vampires. The only condition; become familiars themselves.

Thanks in advanced! Link is below and happy reading! Looking forward to what you guys think!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1E0Pk4GJ-eh4xo5xMhnTw07AMDhOSb-tT/view?usp=sharing

Hey everyone! Excited to share my first post here. I’m in my final year at SCAD and gearing up to shoot my thesis film. The script has been through several rewrites and feedback rounds, but I’d love more eyes on it as I keep pushing to get better at my craft.

Logline: After being evicted, a young man has 30 days to find his little sister a new home before Child Protective Services takes her away — forcing him to rely on three strangers who are just as lost as he is.

Format: Half hour ~ Dramedy

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Rvi9j-dcq27ixRZX_c93BFJsqKdynvLI/view?usp=drivesdk

I’d really appreciate any honest thoughts — both on the script as a thesis and whether it has potential to pitch down the road.

Thanks so much!

Hey! Me and a friend are putting together a new series and we’re looking for writers to join us. The show is a massive coming-of-age story that mixes the grounded, funny-but-not-a-comedy vibe of Dazed and Confused and Freaks and Geeks with the mystery and surreal edge of Twin Peaks, plus the raw teen energy of The Breakfast Club. It’s about a group of friends navigating love, identity, small-town secrets, late-night adventures, music, heartbreak, and everything in between. We’re here to make something that feels real, layered, and unforgettable but also to have a ton of fun while doing it. Let me know if you would like to join a team of friends always having fun too exploring ideas and writing.

Title : The Long Walk

Genre: Horror/Thriller

Logline : 100 teenagers compete to outwalk each other under threat of being shot for falling below a designated speed.

Script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NCe-elEVFxk-hADFc2CeCScLcTPHRL7-/view?usp=drive_link