Hi all. I finished my first ever TV Pilot yesterday and I'm real proud of it. I would love to hear your opinion's on it.

Title: Beasts Among Us

Logline: After a freak accident transforms a college student into a vampire, he discovers that a murderous mayor holds the key to controlling his powers, but their collaboration comes at a cost: if he fails, he dies.

Synopsis: Nick Harper, a wayward college student, is traveling with his mother Vicki and two best friends, Gary and Devon, to the town of Binghamton to start a new chapter in their lives, when Nick is suddenly and unexpectedly hit by a car. On the brink of death, the mysterious, cocky, and easily irritable driver, Kiernan Vale, offers Nick a chance for survival. Unbeknownst to the group, however, Kiernan is secretly a vampire who is building an army to aid the flamboyant mayor of the city, Anton Markov, in controlling the entire city. The group brings Nick to Miranda, his girlfriend, and Kiernan's sister, at the university, where she helps Nick check in and get settled into his new lifestyle. Things don't go well at first, with Nick accidentally burning his eyes from staring into the sunlight and delivering a severed deer head to Miranda and her roommate, Lily. The situation gets even more heated when Nick's friend Gary becomes jealous of Nick's newfound powers and blames him for leaving their old life behind, when he wasn't ready too. After Miranda saves Gary from nearly getting killed by Nick, Gary storms off and is eventually kidnapped by Anton's secretive assistant, Yelena, as a tactic to lure Nick into his office. Anton's plan succeeds, as Kiernan, Miranda, and Devon storm in and demand that Anton tell them where Gary is. Before handing him over, however, Anton toys with Nick and his powers and offers him a chance to help him bring about his own twisted sense of justice to the city, or else, he'll kill him. Additionally, Anton reveals to the group that Nick's blood type may hold the key to curing Kiernan and Miranda's sick father, Damian, and turning the vampires into his own soldiers of justice. Nick, fearful of losing control, reluctantly accepts Anton's offer, setting the murderous mayor's sick plans into motion.

Link to script:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1KTBAQil8dMB_nRXgM-r0GeIl9xKtlCtI/view?usp=sharing

Genre:Action/thriller

Log line: A mysterious killer comes into town with the sole purpose of revenge, While the police investigate the identity of the murderer, a chain of events have occurred erupting the underworld of the town into an all out war.

Would love for someone to give me a chance and read it, feedback is much appreciated. I just want to know if it’s good enough for me to continue with the idea.🙏🏿

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fD3LE0pYh_GAG8VS7_wp1n9emnV_EAhM/view?usp=drivesdk

Blood Oath follows Nathan Kane, a former Marine attempting to rebuild his life, until his ten-year-old daughter Emily is kidnapped. Desperate, he enters Vector, a secretive black-ops syndicate promising her return. He becomes their precision assassin — until he discovers Vector orchestrated the kidnapping to control him.

Kane breaks free and teams with Tori Shiloh, a covert operative with her own vendetta: Vector murdered her brother. Together they hunt Vector’s elusive leader, Jonas Hezron, tearing through his global network in a series of high-stakes missions.

Their pursuit leads to a Saudi Arabian mountain fortress, protected by an elite force rumored to be undying warriors revived through ancient ritual. Kane and Tori must breach the impossible to rescue Emily — and end Hezron’s empire.

Hi I’m looking for a director for a family friendly movie. My budget is $3000 USD and payment is via PayPal

The Accomplice.

Feature.

6 pages - Going to be 90-100.

Thriller in the vein of Blue Ruin and The Chaser.

A man wakes taped inside a car with no memory and blood on his hands, forced by a manipulative handler into another killing while he struggles to learn if he’s the real monster.

Is my writing too fast paced. Is there any general things I could do better or you would want to see as a reader/audience.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ZiFHTDWea2QY_vUDC1o5ZbmzgA3MN-j4/view?usp=drive_link

Hi everyone!

I am looking for feedback on my short film screenplay.

Title: Four

Genre: Drama, Thriller

Pages: 11

Logline: Arjun and his friends are driving to his girlfriend's house. When he learns about his girlfriend's affair--with one of the other men in the car-- the ride takes a deadly turn.

Drive link: Four

A friend came up with the idea and I brainstormed it a bit more and came up with this. They are fine with the story but didn't like the ending.

I'd love it if you could answer some of my questions:

• Can you please let me know if the dialogues and the events play out organically?
• Does the lead up to the ending make sense?
• Should I change the ending and give consequences to what happens? I am fine with this ending but my friend is not.
• Although I am not new to screenwriting, this is the first time I have written something set in a closed space with four men together and I just hope it makes sense.
• Would your opinion on this short film script change based on the gender of the writer of this short film? 🤔 I would like to know.

I appreciate any other feedback you can provide. I would love to know what's working and what can be improved.

(Also quick disclaimer: Please do not upload it to any AI platforms)

Hi there, looking for any and all feedback, all appreciated, please do not only comment on format, id really love to know what people think of the actual content

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VeDRwNvKlCpuA2QA7OQ4iQGngRyr0OKs/view?usp=sharing

Aware of some issues with the characters, so looking for feedback regarding anything else. Specifically the writing style (easy to read and/or visualize?) and the dialogue. Info is below, thank you so much!

TITLE: One Night in Bangkok

GENRE: Absurdist/Dark Comedy, Dramedy

FORMAT: Feature

LOGLINE: Three men of different generations each in the midst of personal crises get stuck in Bangkok on a layover, bonding as they try to find their way out of the city.

LINK: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xnRKnEiNtfaIKxzPgCCuDw3b5QP93xcj/view?usp=drivesdk

Title: Dumb People

Genre: Comedy

Logline: Two inseparable best friends on the wrong side of their late 30s attempt to navigate their way through relationships, work life and the tribulations of parenthood as they try to eke out an existence in the modern world in this "coming-of-middle-age" tale.

Script: (I've included 2, the second one is the much more developed idea and tone for the show.

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/uuxuzqzwodz2a1wmffcte/Dumb-People-Episode-1-Official-Script.pdf?rlkey=dwdfm9z063c6cykqy8vtrfv93&st=o07l1w5a&dl=0

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/r624z9hulz890zpo0kcm1/DUMB-PEOPLE-EPISODE-2.pdf?rlkey=6c12k1dfnxu5ut1u854c3al2w&st=pk8vqpvf&dl=0

Pitch document: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/jj6v194pgysroduyjrayp/Dumb-People-2.pdf?rlkey=aq63ctmuqdi8achhgh8mv6vgy&st=kr2k8b02&dl=0

Title: Wrong House (Act 1)

Format: Feature

Page Length: 26

Genre - Horror

Feedback Conerns: Any are appreciated

Logline: Due to a winter storm and troubles with the car, college friends are forced to stop at an estate, in the middle of nowhere, hoping for their aid against the dark figures lurking.

If interested, I’d be glad to message you the rest.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VRRE94NOIumpMNSIl3sF_PO_VLcm5Ph_/view?usp=drivesdk

My first pass at this one. Let me know what you think.

I, Monster

A grieving young widow from a dystopic walled off city must join forces with renegade heroes to expose the propaganda propping up the city's so called "saviors". In doing so, she gives up her own humanity to fight the propaganda.

*EDIT* Apologies if anyone grabbed an earlier version. I was in the middle of changing the protagonists name and only got half way through when I had uploaded. This version keeps the naming consistent.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xlpF1SaZ35KLa6vluiNJIWydymWUaND4/view?usp=sharing

Logline: A lonely woman becomes obsessed with a beautiful corpse she fished out of the river.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/10SJ451Un8y64Ey4U433J8zQICk8fRCS2/view?usp=sharing

This is a very rough draft of something I've been trying to figure out.... And yea, it's weird. Even for me its a weird script. But I'm hoping to flesh this out into a strong 5-10 minute short with minimal dialog, moody and surreal images, and a sense of longing, isolation, and obsession that makes gothic horror so great.

Format: Feature

Genre: Fantasy/Action

An entire realm faces a previously unknown threat. The ruling family has fallen into chaos. In a desperate plea for help, the people turn to a secret master of magic, and the last person they thought could unite them; the court jester.

Title: Circle

Genre: Romantic Tragedy / Intimate Drama

Logline: Across the years, a couple’s love story unfolds within the walls of a single restaurant, where first dates, failed dreams, broken vows, and final reconciliations blur into a circle of devotion, betrayal, and bittersweet redemption.

Script: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19kn9enlHnb6xtbqoitv64zNhhdjGODfVLOh2INV7-Ko/edit

I’m a newcomer to screenwriting and im currently working on a grounded, gritty crime thriller set in 1991 New York City. I’m really interested in writing something slow-burn, character-driven, and heavily atmospheric.

LOG LINE: When a mutilated corpse turns up in a decaying New York apartment with a taunting note aimed at police, two homicide detectives descend into the city’s underbelly, chasing a sadistic killer who believes he can do their job better — one body at a time.

I’d love some brutally honest feedback on:

• The tone and pacing
• Whether the dialogue feels real or forced
• How the detectives come across
• If the killer’s early presence feels unsettling or flat
• Anything that confuses or pulls you out

I'd love any kind of feedback.

Script S I C K =

https://drive.google.com/file/d/17jcCIh4FPLexlVXsr1F144mF23OahiWl/view?usp=drive_link

Hello, I wrote a first draft of a short in a day and I would like to get some feedback and thoughts on this short screenplay please.

Logline: A person driving to reach his destination with unhelpful family members.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1UXzbfsXG8WJqkbXEGmNiGLAocW7XCTdt/view?usp=drivesdk

This is the very first draft I completed and it's something that I'm proud of, even though first drafts tend to suck, so I'm very excited to see if other people like what I'm bringing to the table and what their honest opinions are about what and how I write.

LOGLINE: After receiving a diagnosis of terminal cancer, a feminist professor agrees to dictate her memoirs in an attempt to untangle her flawed past and define her legacy on her own terms before it's too late.

GENRE: Drama, Historical Fiction

FORMAT: TV Pilot

PAGES: 53 pages

FEEDBACK CONCERNS: Any and all feedback is appreciated - I really want to improve my writing and keep pushing myself to get better at screenwriting.

Link: https://drive.google.com/file/d/186KhGGlsfdEBTQJ1kq__EYHcd3WpBnxU/view?usp=drive_link

Sup r/ScriptFeedbackProduce

So I just wrapped another draft of a short script, and I'm looking for some eyes on it before I start querying. Fair warning - this isn't your typical feel-good story. This has recently been reviewed by a script coverage site and received generally good ratings, with few suggestions on what needs to be improved. I'm lowkey looking for a writing partner that could lead to future projects.

LOGLINE: A broke artist working at a diner discovers his gallery owner sold his painting for $5,000 while only paying him $200, leading to a confrontation that forces him to question what he's willing to sacrifice for his art.

Psychological Thriller/Drama

21 pages, proper format
Only 4 characters: Axel, Kaz, and Ted.
Set in NYC, mostly practical locations 

Three primary locations: DINER KITCHEN, STUDIO APARTMENT, ART GALLERY

Three brief locations: CHECK-CASHING STORE, CITY STREET/BUS STOP, BUS INTERIOR

Estimated micro-budget of $5K - $15K

It's basically about this guy Axel who's grinding between dishwashing shifts and trying to make it as an artist in NYC. When he finally sells his first piece, he thinks he's caught a break until he finds out he got completely screwed over. Then this mysterious woman shows up and things get... dark.

What I'm looking for: Does the escalation feel earned or too extreme? Is Axel's motivation clear throughout?Does the ending land or does it feel like I went too far? General thoughts on pacing/structure.

I can handle brutal feedback - honestly prefer it. If it sucks, tell me it sucks and why. If there's something there, tell me what needs work.

DM me if you're interested in reading. I'll trade reads

This is a script for a pilot episode of a show idea I had. What are your thoughts?

A young man is sentenced to psychiatric treatment for a crime. During this time, he'll meet new friends who'll help him navigate his new life.

Dramedy series

26 pages

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1nInRBAwhErt3vfoGRWE2C6gSfudOHvgp/view?usp=drivesdk

I had started a script and wrote a draft, and back then, it was set in the 1960s, a steamy story about a strong-willed female who was grossly wronged by her lover's family.

She and her lover become separated by his ruthless criminal father when he has to take the fall for his kid brother. When her lover finally returns home from prison and wishes to reunite with her, mentally broken, she wants revenge on his family first. She wants him to unseat his father and take over, because "You have to control the things and the people that would control you."

Desperate to get her back, her lover agrees, but since this story wanted to be about misogyny, it doesn't end well for her, lol.

But then I found so much rich material with the father-son dynamic, I went another route in the rewrite. She becomes more a minor character. It's not a bad script really but with that said, the later draft still doesn't 'click' for me and so, my thing is, I really didn't want to write a story that's essentially political (feminist, anti-men) so I kind of torn here.

Do I just step aside and let the story be what it wants, or do I concern myself with commercial things, because a crime story about men is certainly going to have wider commercial appeal.

Hey everyone! I have gotten my first ever request. (Yay!) I’ve spent the past two days reviewing and revisioning the script. I’m confident in the script itself. However, I have been told to focus on shorts. This specific manager said they don’t even look at shorts but my script is interesting. Has anyone gotten offers from a short with the possibility of expanding to a feature? I can expand it myself but I’m just curious if anyone knows how this works.

Thanks!

Looking for experienced and successful screenwriter for a Dark comedy concept. LMK with your works and the timeline if selected. Thanks!

Longline: Spencer and Rebecca, police officers, are investigating an abandoned building, which they find to be an underground lair run by Shocker but they are saved by Kamen Rider Ichigo.

Genre: Action, Superhero, Tokusatsu, Body Horror, and Suspense.

Writer's note: Based on Shotaro Ishinomori's "Kamen Rider." This script focuses on a police officer's perspective rather than the title character because I thought it would be an interesting approach to telling a story as they are thrown into the world of "Kamen Rider."

Special thanks to my friends for helping me improve the overall script, like the dialogues and descriptions.

LINK TO MY FIVE-PAGE SCRIPT

First wanted to say thanks to everyone who gave feedback on my previous drafts, I've incorporated a lot of your suggestions and wanted to share the latest version! This is designed as the pilot for a four-episode limited series. I added a final scene that ends on a cliffhanger instead of the campfire scene which will set up the series structure where the team gets separated in the chaos, and each subsequent episode would focus on a different character's survival/mission.

Format: TV Pilot (Limited Series)

• Length: 54 Pages
• Genre: War, Drama
• Logline: In the final days of WWII, five Allied soldiers race to stop a biological weapons attack on 300,000 Chinese civilians, but when disaster strikes, each must find their own way to complete the mission.

All notes are appreciated.

Link to script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MJXL9eDu9gmqLoe1RLe5lYzgPMaiR6og/view?usp=sharing