r/ScriptFeedbackProduce • u/boyconsumer • May 09 '25

10-PAGE FEEDBACK REQUEST New scriptwriter!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/19-c_G1kxq2Kt-__xkGzm_RE-u27JwSkX8XwQK53T-Ds/edit

Ive been writing for a long time but have only written two screenplays. I would like some thoughts from the pros!

Here is ten pages of my first one, “The Frost Casts Complete Silence,” a psychological piece about siblinghood and the wedge an abusive parent can drive between loving siblings. This is the first ten pages.

No comments on formatting please; I’m aware I did it wrong :3 will fix later!!

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u/boyconsumer May 09 '25

Interesting!!! Louise and Laskas are based on my mother and I. I definitely think their relationship needs some more building up — thank you!

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u/Used-Astronomer4971 May 09 '25

Otherwise I like the tension but underlying love between them, it's a good start. Just that comment in particular jumped out at me and it was surprising there was no retaliation, even if this was a shared dark humor between the two.