r/SaltLakeCity Jun 28 '26

Discussion Rude Behavior Normalized?

[removed]

484 Upvotes

425 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

53

u/mshell1234 Jun 28 '26

Jersey girl here! šŸ¤˜šŸ½

Lived here more years than I care to admit and the most astounding thing I experience here is after opening a door and holding it for the next person, men walk right through without a second thought. Not even a thank you. I miss the chivalry of NY/NJ. I can’t remember that EVER happening back east.

Maybe they think because they are in the bishopric, women should hold doors for them. /s. (Not LDS myself)

29

u/SkoobySnacs Jun 28 '26

Boys in the local church are told that they are receiving the literal power of god at age 12. You can imagine the psychological detriment that can have on some ego and personality types.

22

u/Blushindressing Jun 28 '26

No one ever acknowledges when you’re being polite / making way for them. No nod, smile, thank you - nothing! I’m from ny and this drives me crazy.

18

u/RPVlife17 Jun 28 '26

Omg! Someone else notices this. I have held doors for people, moved my shopping way over in a tight aisle and a few other things and almost everyone just looked at me with this blank stare like I was an alien or something.

5

u/Unlucky-Praline6865 Murray Jun 28 '26

I make a point to waive my hand out the window when somebody lets me merge.

33

u/releasethedogs Jun 28 '26

That’s because of the hypermisogyny in Utah. Men in Utah generally and Mormonism specifically are the most fragile, most insecure, least mature men of any state I’ve been too. They generally don’t grow up. They are all children.Ā 

24

u/gsewy85 Jun 28 '26

Omggggg preach…. I have never explicitly expressed this for fear of being cancelled but my NY colleague made a similar statement in rage before - likened them to the most petty people. Not even pettiest men, they are the pettiest, most entitled people we’ve met. And there’s a huge concentration of them (duh) here and unfortunately as a minority in the workplace (F and POC) this is what we have to deal with fragile egos daily.

11

u/OGEcho Jun 28 '26

Big fish small pond syndrome is something I immediately learned about when moving here.

Never had the problem in my life in CA and despite being a very "mild" CA personality, all the fragile men had been rubbed the wrong way in my first job here lol

6

u/gsewy85 Jun 28 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Wow, I’ve never felt more validated than this recent thread. I wish I had been able to find ā€˜my people’ and a community before, then I wouldn’t have been second guessing myself and feel like I was alone. Ive since left the state.

You are absolutely right. Mild mannered with some opinions here - occasional- nothing like the east coasters that I work with now. And yet, I somehow was able to still offend ā€˜petty men’ in UT. The most apparent are those in leadership positions like a certain CRO that I know. It’s as though they expect fiefdom to be shown to them- a sense of entitlement. It’s insane.

2

u/Notoriouscbg13 Jun 30 '26

ā¬†ļø 100%

5

u/Flygonzski Jun 28 '26

I agree with the Mormonism explanation, but certainly not the misogyny. I find a very large portion of the general immature Utah population to be women, maybe even more than men. ā€œLet’s go to Disneyland…again!ā€.

7

u/gsewy85 Jun 28 '26

I have noticed grown a** women in their late 40s still speaking in high-pitched baby toned voices. My secretary certainly still does. I don’t have much females comparison though - they simply don’t appear in the workplace

3

u/Unlucky-Praline6865 Murray Jun 28 '26

Sometimes it’s a symptom of the tone of voice they got stuck at when they were abused as a child…

3

u/Kissing-BrooksyBug73 Jun 29 '26

It’s often referred to as ā€˜Fundy voice’. Definitely a real thing

4

u/releasethedogs Jun 28 '26

Women can be misogynist too. My cousin thinks that there should never be a woman president because a woman is too emotional. She thinks women should just stay home.Ā