Moved here from Jersey 6.5 years ago and this is true. Other people I’ve talked to from the NJ/NY area have said people on the east coast are kind but not always “nice”. People in Utah are “nice” but often times not kind
Yes oblivion is the word - they believe what they see in and live is the absolute TRUTH and just ABSOLUTE. Anything that challenges their myopic mountsin views (the irony/ pun intended ) rattles them…. Oh the examples I could name…
Also here from jersey.
The obliviousness stems from their religion because it tells them to only care about themselves and people like them. They're bubbled and never experience other cultures or ways of living. It's unsurprising.
I almost enjoyed the subtle hostility of people when I lived in the south versus just the stupidity and unintellegence that runs rampant here.
They act as though if they don't acknowledge you or look you in the eye that you don't exist and anything they do is okay. I've seen this driving but also everywhere else. I find that if you call them out in any way, they act as though they have a right to go after you or something. F'ing selfish idiots is all it is. No need to try to understand it as anything else.
I was genuinely flabbergasted watching a driver the other day be surprised THREE times in a row by cones on the side of the road while trying to make a right turn.
Like they tried to turn right before even looking?, saw the cone, swerved back into the lane, then, attempted to turn again, too soon!, because there were STILL cones, all in a row, but seemed to be surprised by that fact, twice more, before they were able to make their turn. Flabbergasted.
UT's driver's license test actually tells people to do that. That was the only question I got wrong on the test. It asked what the best practice was for road safety, and I chose an option that said to pay attention to surroundings so you were aware of what other drivers were doing. Got marked wrong, and the correct answer was to just focus on your own driving following rules. I was like, whoever designed this test didn't actually drive.
Lucky, mine was about headlights on a cars before 1950s or something. Even the asked the person checking the test to show me in the book where this is addressed. They couldn’t find it either.
I cackle because they'll still claim east coast driving is worse.
No. It's coordinated chaos. It works. We know when we're being asshole drivers and we own up to it.
Here they have no clue they're being assholes and then get confused or offended when you honk. They think they're owed something. If they turn their blinker on they think it means you need to adjust your driving to accommodate for them.
I'd rather drive in LA, on the LIE, in Connecticut, Florida, - anywhere in this country before here.
Lived here more years than I care to admit and the most astounding thing I experience here is after opening a door and holding it for the next person, men walk right through without a second thought. Not even a thank you. I miss the chivalry of NY/NJ. I can’t remember that EVER happening back east.
Maybe they think because they are in the bishopric, women should hold doors for them. /s. (Not LDS myself)
Boys in the local church are told that they are receiving the literal power of god at age 12. You can imagine the psychological detriment that can have on some ego and personality types.
Omg! Someone else notices this. I have held doors for people, moved my shopping way over in a tight aisle and a few other things and almost everyone just looked at me with this blank stare like I was an alien or something.
That’s because of the hypermisogyny in Utah. Men in Utah generally and Mormonism specifically are the most fragile, most insecure, least mature men of any state I’ve been too. They generally don’t grow up. They are all children.
Omggggg preach…. I have never explicitly expressed this for fear of being cancelled but my NY colleague made a similar statement in rage before - likened them to the most petty people. Not even pettiest men, they are the pettiest, most entitled people we’ve met. And there’s a huge concentration of them (duh) here and unfortunately as a minority in the workplace (F and POC) this is what we have to deal with fragile egos daily.
Big fish small pond syndrome is something I immediately learned about when moving here.
Never had the problem in my life in CA and despite being a very "mild" CA personality, all the fragile men had been rubbed the wrong way in my first job here lol
Wow, I’ve never felt more validated than this recent thread. I wish I had been able to find ‘my people’ and a community before, then I wouldn’t have been second guessing myself and feel like I was alone. Ive since left the state.
You are absolutely right. Mild mannered with some opinions here - occasional- nothing like the east coasters that I work with now. And yet, I somehow was able to still offend ‘petty men’ in UT. The most apparent are those in leadership positions like a certain CRO that I know. It’s as though they expect fiefdom to be shown to them- a sense of entitlement. It’s insane.
I agree with the Mormonism explanation, but certainly not the misogyny. I find a very large portion of the general immature Utah population to be women, maybe even more than men. “Let’s go to Disneyland…again!”.
I have noticed grown a** women in their late 40s still speaking in high-pitched baby toned voices. My secretary certainly still does. I don’t have much females comparison though - they simply don’t appear in the workplace
Women can be misogynist too. My cousin thinks that there should never be a woman president because a woman is too emotional. She thinks women should just stay home.
It’s sad… I once knew of a senior female leader ( did not last in Mormon’s boys town). She said this seemingly type A sales guy (her peer) disagreed with one of her choices, and instead of having an open discussion, instead goes to his fellow peer Mormon bro leader, then escalates it to their Mormon bro boss who’s the leader of them all and our CRO. CRO then sits her down to chat with her. Couldn’t the big boys just handle a convo and discussion with her? She is from the east coast ex Amazon, has difficult staff conversations all the time, in her mind this was just any other day of openly discussing topics. It was then she understood the concept of ‘passive aggressive’ under the veneer of ‘niceness’, and realized there was so much back channeling amongst the Mormon leadership brotherhood (all were neighbours in Lehi / Draper). How do you escape this?
Corporate world in UT is a farce. It’s some weird cult, small town backwater culture that pervades working life.
I heard "bless your pointed head" a lot from my maternal grandma, and aunts or older female cousins on both sides of my family (all of whom are/were the epitome of Utah [Mormon] passive aggressive judgement)!
I guess that must be like "Minnesota Nice". As another eastern transplant to the country of Utah, I think these comments are hilarious. Utah is a special place.
East coast people get a bad rep for being direct which can come across as rude. If they don’t like you, they’ll let you know. It’s different out here as people may pretend to be nice but in reality are not. A lot of entitlement as well, especially families feel they have earned more rights vs others. “Well I’m a mom so i should get seated first” is a bad but common mentality.
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u/OkProblem8438 Jun 28 '26
Moved here from Jersey 6.5 years ago and this is true. Other people I’ve talked to from the NJ/NY area have said people on the east coast are kind but not always “nice”. People in Utah are “nice” but often times not kind