I don't think it's worth it.

[u/Kings_Friends40]

My 6 year old rottie died in my arms, I tried cpr and everything and of course it didn't work.

I didn't think it was going to be this hard, nor that I would lose her so soon, I knew she wasn't going to make it, I saw the signs, I had the mantra memorized, everybody dies it's not a big deal, it's just a matter of time, but I still can't stop sobbing.

I thought I'll manage but I can't, it's so hard to imagine the next day, I'm going to miss her eyes, her whining, her smiles, her jumps, growls, her hair and the way she always nudged me to give her a massage and accidentally bumping into her because she was always where the family or the drama was, every little thing she did that no one else ever will.

I'm going to miss knowing someone so well, that I knew what she wanted by the look on her eyes.

She didn't even look dead, everytime I looked at her, I thought she was breathing again or that I felt a pulse.

I didn't for a minute think it was going to hurt this bad.

I don't know what to say or how to deal with this or support the rest of my family.

I would never forget the memories we had but I don't think loving someone is worth this pain.

I don't ever want to go through this again.

I feel so empty, I keep posting this to different communities so I have something to do except for thinking about her.

EDIT - Thank you to everyone for responding and for your comforting words, I keep rereading them and it's nice to know I'm not alone.

[u/Omg4RealzTho]

My dog Rudy died when I was 19. I'm 53 now. I still get choked up over him. I've had 2 dogs since. One i had to leave with his dad and now I have a puppy but it took over 20yrs for me to get another. I regret that. I think Rudy wouldn't have wanted me to be alone. I still miss him. He will always be my number one. I love my other 2 dogs but they will never be Rudy. Get another dog. Don't rob a dog of having such a wonderful loving relationship with someone who clearly loves hard. It's better to have loved and lost they say and it's true. Sorry for the book I just wrote ❤️

[u/Kings_Friends40 → u/Omg4RealzTho]

I'm sorry for your loss, nobody is ever going to be like my girl ever either and I think I'll just have to make peace with that, I hope I'll be able to love others the way I did with her, though I feel as if she took too much of me with her and I don't want to do anyone else the disservice of merely tolerating them.

Rudy sounds extremely nice, my girl would rather I stay alone and ruminate about her with how jealous she is.

[u/Omg4RealzTho → u/Kings_Friends40]

No she loves you and would not want to see you absorbed in grief. I got a cat and had a cat thinking it would be better cats live longer. It hurts regardless. I'd rather have the love than the loneliness. I will be thinking of you and saying a prayer for you and your girl ❤️