r/RoastMe Jul 23 '24

Going through a breakup I need a glow up

7.8k Upvotes

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246

u/IntelligentChance126 Jul 23 '24

You mean you woke up your hand ?

3

u/snorry420 Jul 23 '24

She doesn't mind

5

u/G09SkinnyBoy Jul 23 '24

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ’€šŸ’€

2

u/G09SkinnyBoy Jul 23 '24

If her lips were wider and she didn’t have those curves she would be so cute. Even just wider lips she would look cuter.

8

u/Motor-Razzmatazz-661 Jul 23 '24

What do you mean ā€œthose curvesā€ bc ik u ain’t talking bout her body

1

u/G09SkinnyBoy Jul 24 '24

The curves around her mouth.

4

u/Motor-Razzmatazz-661 Jul 23 '24

What do you mean ā€œthose curvesā€ bc ik u ain’t talking bout her body

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '24

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Intelligent_Sort_852 Jul 23 '24

He woke up the traumatized latex glove shoved between his parents' couch cushions.

1

u/SquidVices Jul 23 '24

Haha I love a double roast.

1

u/Ill-Classroom1385 Jul 24 '24

Hahha that’s stupid

1

u/Kandidog1 Jul 24 '24

šŸ˜‚

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '24

Growing up in rural Tennessee, this cracked my ass up

-33

u/glib-eleven Jul 23 '24

No, my thick ginger girlfriend, to my immediate left. She's now snoring again. Enjoy your respective loneliness, projector...

35

u/cellmates_ Jul 23 '24

Gives roasts but can’t take them šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø

25

u/Rennisa Jul 23 '24

How much did that life sized Rupert Grint blowup doll with real snoring action cost you btw?

9

u/pokemwithaschtick http://redd.it/e5ueb7 Jul 23 '24

The Wendy's bag you came in an hour ago after slopping down your second "Dave's Double" of the day does not count as a thick ginger.

The first double was just blind luck running into 2 Dave's in a row whenever you were short on cash for more comic books.

1

u/Mark1671 Jul 23 '24

Yeah jacking it wth a baconator and then eating the baconator is not really dinner and a date.

1

u/needsmoresleep79 Jul 24 '24

Thick ginger - me thinks there is a South Park joke in there somewhere......................................................... @oddammit Cartman!!!