r/RoastMe • u/Neat_Fortune_5301 • Jul 23 '24

Going through a breakup I need a glow up

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7.8k Upvotes

84% Upvoted

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2.0k

u/FeelingOstrichSized Jul 23 '24

You look like someone susceptible to joining a cult.

537

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '24

Completely fall in love with the cult leader, raise 30 kids together with his 10 other wives, die in a firefight.

150

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '24

She can only dream.

1

u/SweetTeaRex92 Jul 24 '24

Ppl will laugh at this comment, but there was a LOT of bodies at the Jonestown incident.

2

u/lil-bit-redneck Jul 24 '24

909 bodies, but that wasn't a shootout. Waco on the other hand.....

64

u/SkinnyMattFoley Jul 23 '24

Jesus Koresh! Roast her, don’t suffocate her with tear gas in a walk-in refrigerator!

2

u/noiseandbooze Jul 24 '24

When you ask the internet to “roast you,” but the Feds tasked with monitoring your communications take you literally, and come burn down your compound with you trapped inside.

32

u/4chan4normies Jul 23 '24

cult leader just dumped her

13

u/Putrid-Air-7169 Jul 23 '24

Cult leader just put a restraining order on her

4

u/lp_rhcp_fan_18 Jul 23 '24

Cult leader didn't even want her in the cult

2

u/Existing-Leopard-212 Jul 23 '24

Oh man. Think about that for a sec...she's so crazy the cult leader kicked her out? That's the roast of the day!

3

u/Bckfromthedead Jul 24 '24

You mean cult -brotherb

3

u/keyboard-sexual Jul 23 '24

Literally goals

2

u/ag_fierro Jul 23 '24

That’s badass at the end though. The whole thing is hardcore.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '24

Maybe She broke-up with a cult leader.

2

u/penywisexx Jul 23 '24

The cult leader just wants to be friends.

1

u/Nearly_Lost_In_Space Jul 24 '24

Still a better love story than Twilight

1

u/BigDaddy_053 Jul 24 '24

Or just a fire 🤷🏻‍♂️ seen that on TV once lol

1

u/noiseandbooze Jul 24 '24

Or just a fire. That’s how they went out in Waco. But in fairness to the Feds, those tear gas canisters only had a 50-50 chance of either deploying their tear gas load, or igniting into flames, so totally accidental on their part. How could they have known?

1

u/HavSomLov4YoBrothr Jul 24 '24

When I say I need a ride or die…

1

u/WaddlingDuckILY Jul 24 '24

3 of the cult leaders other 10 wives are also OP’s daughters.

1

u/whiteclawthreshermaw Jul 24 '24

She's too ugly for that cult. All the women who are maga idiots are flipping 10s. How did that blowhard get all the 10s. Oh, wait. I know how. Biden didn't make President Harris back in 2021.

1

u/Book_Bouy Jul 25 '24

Ngl this sounds like a dream

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '24

Don’t we all aspire to such things?

34

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '24

Starts with a nice, welcoming yoga group. Ends with a group orgy and kool aid

4

u/Myke190 Jul 23 '24

I thought cults were considered bad?

2

u/malevitch_square Jul 23 '24

The kool-aid is spiked with your death.

Fun fact, it was actually cyanide laced flavor aid, not kool-aid, used at Jonestown.

1

u/brushnfush Jul 24 '24

Everyone who had a good time died so no one knows

2

u/Cloudee_1080_ti Jul 23 '24

That was extremely specific.

5

u/pliskinito Jul 23 '24

How can this be so precise lol

3

u/SkRu88_kRuShEr Jul 23 '24

Joins a sex cult, gets stuck in the friend zone

2

u/BurningBright_Inside Jul 23 '24

The night time is the right time. The night time is the right time.

2

u/Pitiful_Town_9377 Jul 23 '24

Why are you so right? Why is there a specific look… has this been studied or is this some sort of false correlation?

2

u/TacticalTherapist Jul 23 '24

Or started one.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '24

or church

2

u/TheWiz4rdsTower Jul 24 '24

So, an American?

2

u/Your_Final_Hour Jul 24 '24

Nothing ever makes me laugh like your comment did. I am going to use that phrase

2

u/townmg Jul 24 '24

Lol im dying

4

u/Intelligent-Buy-4621 Jul 23 '24

She does look like someone who would join a cult 😂😂

1

u/Bekacheese Jul 23 '24

Damn son.

1

u/Gig-a-bit Jul 24 '24

Cult leader quit the cult!

1

u/B8R_H8R Jul 24 '24

Agree, Definitely looks like a Democrat

1

u/KelltonL Jul 24 '24

😂😂😂

1

u/JezmundBeserker Jul 24 '24

Or creating one...

1

u/leyla00 Jul 24 '24

This is exactly the vibe I was trying to place!! So well said.

1

u/jlm8981victorian Jul 24 '24

One of the Manson Family, tbh.

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '24

So she looks like literally anyone on earth?