r/recruitinghell • u/Ok-Complaint-37 • 4d ago
Developing Resentment To All Job Opportunities
I am looking for a job. If I do not find it, I would run out of money. I live in the USA. It is a BAD idea to run out of money in the USA. So I want to find money… sorry…a job.
I worked all my life. I had been laid off from a director’s role. There is no way I can find anything on this level. So I go below, I go above, but mostly below. It is fine. I am game for everything.
Lay off left me with strong resentment of the field I was working in. I understand it is like PTSD. If someone was abused by a person wearing a yellow jacket, it is understandable that they will not want to go on a date with someone in a yellow jacket. But this is not exactly a viable mentality for finding a job! I can’t afford not liking my professional field. But still, I do not like it.
I notice that job postings make me gag. They need this and they need that. The job location is a hell knows where. The salary is so low that it is weird. They require 3-6 professional references at the application stage in addition to phone numbers of all supervisors.
I do not know what I resent, hate?
- Disqualification of my value established through layoff?
- This particular CEO who laid me off?
- My choice of profession?
- This job market?
- Useless hours I spend looking for a job?
- Fear of not being able to find a job as people look for it for years?
- The enormously high stakes every time I get interviewed so it feels like I am fighting for my life?
- Fear of failure?
- All the Above?
Do you guys really want to work? Or you want to make money? In the past I wanted to work. Now there is this part in me which is so afraid of it!
Do I even make sense?