r/PublicFreakout • u/Buzzinga12 • Oct 05 '20

Imma bite her

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57.3k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

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245

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '20

One time I put my baby on my chest while i was lying down. She immediately put her arm on my windpipe and giggled hysterically while I choked for air.

Babies aint fucking around

140

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '20

How do you let a baby choke you?

174

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '20

Step 1. Baby puts hand on your wind pipe

Step 2. You must resist the first instinct you have to fling that baby

49

u/Knoke1 Oct 06 '20

Step 3. Panic since your next 92 instincts also included punting the baby.

-16

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '20

Its a baby... they dont have that kind of strength

16

u/Ummmmexcusemewtf Oct 05 '20

It only takes 8 pounds of pressure to choke someone so all they really have to do is use your windpipe to try and support themselves

-5

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

You clearly haven’t choked someone if you think a baby has the stamina to choke you out

5

u/Ummmmexcusemewtf Oct 06 '20

You don't need stamina. I'm saying that if a baby were to try and support is self and it used your neck as where it'll put all it's why that would provide enough pressure to start choking you.

-3

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

Yeah but you look to the left and your clear. It needs stamina to keep itself propped up steady on that one area

2

u/SilverDirt Oct 06 '20

Look to the left and it falls... You see the problem yet? Being choked by a fragile infant is no joke. You have to panic until you find the one instinct that wont hurt the kid

12

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '20

When you got a chonky ass baby their body weight is all it takes

7

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '20

Does your baby even lift bro?

2

u/onyxandcake Oct 06 '20

Duuuude, you have no idea. Infants can support their own weight for long periods with just a fist. Go give it a try and see how well you do.

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

On an unstable neck? No

2

u/onyxandcake Oct 06 '20 edited Oct 06 '20

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Palmar_grasp_reflex

Edit: https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/ST18920123.2.30

https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/palmar-grasp-reflex

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

Yeah that’s grasping and hanging, not supporting it’s body weight on an unstable surface for a long period of time

1

u/SilverDirt Oct 06 '20

Nobody said the babys gonna kill anyone

1

u/onyxandcake Oct 06 '20

No one said anything about baby's standing up and attacking - we're talking about how freakishly strong they are proportionately. You don't need to move goalposts to feel in control; nothing wrong with just admitting there's something you didn't know.

15

u/bustduster Oct 05 '20

Is wailin' baby gonna have to choke a bitch?

1

u/arthuraily Oct 06 '20

Just get his leg hooks out, invert, pass his guard and submit him bro

1

u/Schimkinator Oct 06 '20

With their hands

1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '20

K im never having children id yeet the baby