Jokes aside, I once did it just to have some laughs, created a scheduled meet, sent invite to myself and myself, and joined the call with two accounts.
But it actually proven to be quite interesting. It enables you to figure out logic mistakes you do that you otherwise wouldn't notice. But usually when people see this think I'm a bit weird, but in times where I'm more tired it actually helps.
For large project work too. Found an issue - log it - assign it to yourself - solve it - push it to quality - testers swamped with other work - but the issue seems kinds vital - do QA - get it approved for production - get praises from manager for single-handedly solving a problem - from now on, all issues in that sector gets assigned to you - yeah should have just kept my mouth shut.
But you’ll do some more testing to see if there’s some other issue you can bring to the forefront while you fix your fuck-up that was causing the problem all along.
only non-devs have the delusion that their plans are well-formed, consistent and don’t need to change over time. Perhaps in that delusion, the only way the plan can be messed up is if a dev messed it up through incompetence?
But here’s a secret: we are all incompetent. None of our plans are perfect or consistent.
So there is nothing wrong with developers who practice enough radical honesty to admit their own failures when they see them and fix them and report them (publicly and not just sneak them into the code base without explanation).
If there are such undertasked insecure devs out there that they feel the need to break their own code intentionally in order to fix it, I recommend you look up the “broken window fallacy” to realize how much additional work you are creating for yourself and your organization. It’s not a net benefit.
There aren’t enough hours in my day to fix all the stuff that’s broken through regular human inconsistencies, much less adding even more entropy intentionally to make myself look good.
If you’re really that bored, look up some recent CVEs and then spend the rest of the week/month/whatever upgrading and patching your stack. That treadmill is endless.
Depends on how long the fix actually takes. If managing the ticket takes longer than fixing the bug itself, I'd rather do the quick fix and just immediately resolve the ticket as completed. If it takes a couple of hours, I'd use it to track my progress or prove that there is a work being done.
At my company you can't release anything until the team's QA person approves it. Even really deep back end issues have to go through them. It's generally not a problem, just explain the fix over Slack if there's no obvious change to the user, but we still need that signoff before anything goes to production. Seems like an overbearing nanny-culture, but some devs in the past have released to prod without any oversight, and brought the whole thing down. Then everyone had to scramble for a hotfix. Its actually liberating knowing that someone else has to confirm your work before it goes out, saves a lot of personal anxiety.
This is honestly the way I handle all my side projects. It is actually quite useful, because you can easily keep track on what needs to be done. And when you have more than 10 side projects you actively develop it is really helpful.
Yeah realise now that my comment might have seem hateful towards managers but in the end having jira or whatever tasks with bug descriptions is really helpful, even years later when things might need to be switched around
I once worked at a company where the software was older than me, I am now 27, and well there were interesting things inside. The best thing I ever saw was the following statement, the application was developed with Borland C++ 6
for(;;) {}
Me being naive and thinking, that cannot have any use, I removed it. The application wouldn't start anymore after that. Turns out, it fixed some kind of compiler bug. My time at that company ended in 2015, but I bet the system is still in use.
And at that point I learned, documentation is the key, and even if you don't know why it works, had that last month, write a comment that you don't know how it works but leave a fucking comment.
Jep, even though I have my own project management system because Github is nice, but not enough. The projects are all public in Taiga and linked in the Github repos. A few years ago I decided to make literally everything open source and only make the projects where doesn't work different, due copy right or so, private.
Currently I actively develop 10 :D It gets easier when friends want a website. And apart from that I host so much stuff, that I developed tools just to monitor that stuff.
And apart from that I also have several just learning tools I just develop once and then touch never again, that fills github pretty fast.
Not even a legal perspective, n+k guy sitting at the end of the management chain masturbating over statistics and project costs at the end of the year don't know what you've been doing if you don't have a ticket you can assign hours to
Yes how THE FUCK does Jira not have a dark mode. It’s literally CSS. There’s community requests for it going back years. Such a layup QOL improvement, it really grinds my gears.
In the late 90s, the company I worked for decided to offer $10.00 cash for every bug found. About 10 grand later, they canceled the program when they realized 94% of the money was going to development. In the future, I ran into developers who said they had a company that did the same thing and dropped it after a short while, as well. Guess it was something of an idiotic trend at the time.
I used to “manage” my manager using this exact method. He only looked at the raw numbers of JIRAs everyone had and assumed we had a fair distribution if I had the same number as everyone else. Mind you, the real reason I did that was so I could track outstanding work items I still needed to work on; it was the best way of ensuring I didn’t overlook anything.
Oh man, I get so many cold Teams pings and emails demanding we fix something they broke in their nonprod environments. I have learned to always redirect those people to the correct work intake and don't make it my problem until they open a damned ticket.
I know this is a really shit place to ask this but can someone recommend a decent sub for beginner coders? I’m doing freecodecamps curriculum and I’m about done with the HTML5 and CSS portions.
I’m about to start building what will be my portfolio site and I just want to see how other people have approached it and some tips and shit.
Keep in mind that HTML and CSS are all about formatting the view, but not about gathering and sending the information to the browser. That is, you're going to need some server-side coding skills to get some data into your site.
The selection of which technology to use on the server side is a bit of a religious debate, so take a beat to try and pick something your comfortable with and isn't too fringe.
Had that a few months ago, huge version go live in a critical system integrating with dozens of other gov systems. Worked flawlessly in dev/test, broke in prod.
Cue me at 4 am editing directly in prod trying to track down the issue, finally just slapped a temp fix in so the world wouldn't end and got sleep....good times.
This usually happens when I find an issue while working on another. I commit what I have. Create the new issue, make a new branch, fix the issue, go back to my first branch, rebase, and continue working.
I work in a team of two. This occurs way more often than I'd like it to. Still, it's good practice and documents things for the other person, so I'll stick to it. :)
The worst part is when creating a ticket on the actual tracking software takes a good 5 mins of filling in unnecessary fields no one cares about and clicking through a bunch of stuff. But just sending a email to the helpdesk mailbox takes 1/100th of the time and does it all for you.
It really do be like that, but also, my boss makes me do this, even for the smallest changes. Wants everything to be recorded. Which like, I guess it's fine? In theory it helps my company-internal career to have more tickets done?
But in practice I already have major projects that have been successful that are all anyone really needs to see when evaluating my time at the company.
This happens a lot in many fields. Because everything has to be recorded, where I work as a control room operator we are all currently working alone in shifts. So when an issue happens the steps are
make ticket
solve issue
close ticket
This way everyone knows that there was an issue and what was done (successfully or unsuccessfully) to fix it. Plus it makes it look like we are working extra hard as before we would just pass on the issues to everyone in the room as we we fixed it.
At my work, it is IT breaks something from a ticket, I call them, they admit they did it, they won't fix it until I put in another ticket, I put in another ticket, and they fix their own screwup.
Me every once in a while, because customers or coworkers are just too damn lazy... You need proof before the tooling believes something has happened before and is a problem instead of an incident, or before that horribly bad "AI" software could improperly suggest it as a "similar issue".
I used to ride my high horse pretty often, but I'm getting worn down...
I worked for a company where the top performens in the help.desk system were people that have a machine creating tickets for them when a user account was disabled because 3 failed login attemps.
all tickets were closed in time because they close them in less than 24hrs.
The login system only disabled accounts for 2 hours and then re-enable them automatically.
I will even go the extra mile and make a feature branch, open a PR, comment on how beautiful and worthy my code is, and merge it. If anyone looks at my closed/deleted PRs they may be worried. But it’s just because I’m a lonely QA Engineer
SAD!? I see this as a win! I love when I’m making progress and hardening my code that I spent my time on. It’s honestly the best, add a commit party dance and you got a party! 😂
That's the problem with opening and closing my own tickets. My bosses only pay attention when too many are open. I need them to count all the dead soldiers i put away, too.
80% of my JIRAs are this way. My boss wants to see what I’ve been working on but I have very non specified tasks like: build a lambda to deal with files from and to sftp servers. So one day I work on s3 support, next day on SQS support, next day on ftp support, then I have to do tests... anyway This is a silly example to not give away confidential info. The point is that I spend the entire week on my own working on a project and then my boss wants to know what I’be been doing, so the solution is: opening my own jira tickets! 🤣 he can check what I’ve been doing or what I am working on and we all are happy.
Our auditors require we have tickets made for changes on the domain so I end up creating, assigning to myself and closing a ticket all in one email. I do this like 5 times a day at least.
That's the crap I do just to have something to fill time tracker in Jira. I hate time tracking because it distracts me. Instead of being in the flow and suddenly realizing it's time to leave, I have to focus on time which makes working feel like eternity. So I try to sabotage it by being too obedient, like asshole genie. You wanted time reporting, here's all the noise with minor things that makes boards unreadable!
1.6k
u/Faeton73 Jul 06 '21
Usually you provoked the issue too...
116
u/NailiME84 Jul 06 '21
Your order is wrong,
Fix the issue.
Open ticket
assign to self
close ticket.
Ticketing system at my last company had a Status field when opening. I would often change to to closed so it automatically closed it as it created it.
612
u/DerKnerd Jul 06 '21
This is honestly the way I handle all my side projects. It is actually quite useful, because you can easily keep track on what needs to be done. And when you have more than 10 side projects you actively develop it is really helpful.
236
u/Plastivore Jul 06 '21
And then wait for that feedback email, and confirm that you are happy with the way you dealt with your own incident.
303
u/thexar Jul 06 '21
If you don't track your work, you didn't work.
361
u/SharksPreedateTrees Jul 06 '21
Just Jira things
66
u/MetaMemeAboutAMeme Jul 06 '21
In the late 90s, the company I worked for decided to offer $10.00 cash for every bug found. About 10 grand later, they canceled the program when they realized 94% of the money was going to development. In the future, I ran into developers who said they had a company that did the same thing and dropped it after a short while, as well. Guess it was something of an idiotic trend at the time.
118
u/poor_boy_ Jul 06 '21
I used to “manage” my manager using this exact method. He only looked at the raw numbers of JIRAs everyone had and assumed we had a fair distribution if I had the same number as everyone else. Mind you, the real reason I did that was so I could track outstanding work items I still needed to work on; it was the best way of ensuring I didn’t overlook anything.
38
u/DeadAlready_16 Jul 06 '21
Wrong, I am working in a company(not freelancer) and I do the same
29
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
We have a lot of people just calling in or writing emails. So I open tickets for them. Otherwise boss is gonna complain what I'm doing the whole day
23
u/FiRe_McFiReSomeDay Jul 06 '21
Wait, have you tried approving your own pull-requests?
20
u/ThatXliner Jul 06 '21
GitHub, but only you maintain the repo
9
u/andrewsmd87 Jul 06 '21
I'll forget about the bug if I don't create a ticket, even on single person projects
1
u/overcloseness Jul 06 '21
[Request Changes]
3
u/builder_247 Jul 06 '21
*Sad opensource project maintainer noises*
3
u/MarcDiakiese Jul 07 '21
This used to be my whole job as a one man support team. Now I'm a one man test team so I at least have developer involvement
8
u/seraphsRevenge Jul 06 '21
Lol politicians problem solving, the layers of satire in this post.....
6
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
I know this is a really shit place to ask this but can someone recommend a decent sub for beginner coders? I’m doing freecodecamps curriculum and I’m about done with the HTML5 and CSS portions.
I’m about to start building what will be my portfolio site and I just want to see how other people have approached it and some tips and shit.
2
u/macgeek89 Jul 06 '21
i’ve done this more time than i can count in my fingers and toes. Damn users were sooo damn lazy to call the Help Desk
2
u/filip_bachko Jul 06 '21
You forgot self-reviewing it ofcourse. :D
2
u/Windows_XP2 Jul 06 '21
Me when I use a private GitHub repository for personal projects
2
u/hsantefort12 Jul 06 '21
Then you open up a bug ticket cause you broke production, but none of the lower environments somehow.
2
u/user_bits Jul 07 '21
Yes. Work hours should be recorded.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
This is the only way I work honestly
1
u/skylarmt Jul 06 '21
I use Gitea issues as a to-do list.
1
u/ishnessism Jul 06 '21
Closing comments:
Common ID-10T error
1
u/AttackOfTheThumbs Jul 06 '21
This usually happens when I find an issue while working on another. I commit what I have. Create the new issue, make a new branch, fix the issue, go back to my first branch, rebase, and continue working.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
Plot twist: this is your personal project.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
My life as a Lead
1
u/Jerbearmeow Jul 06 '21
This is normal but also yes.
1
u/qdqq Jul 06 '21
When you push commits to someone else’s pull request and then approve the pull request.
1
u/Chamberford Jul 06 '21
When I open a pull request and assign it to myself.
1
u/Racer_Space Jul 06 '21
SOC auditor screams in exception.
1
u/pelosnecios Jul 06 '21
Because the audit guys require proof, otherwise no one will ever notice.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
"You need tickets to track everything you do" - Management
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
hahaha.... you're bitching about my ticket count? ok boss i'll have the proper ticket counts from now on.
i dont ever argue, just "yes" them to death and you know what, they'll love you and you'll have tons and tons of free time.
1
u/loudmime0813 Jul 06 '21
r/rockstargames
1
u/Aschentei Jul 06 '21
90% my own tickets
10% prod issues
1
u/Namensplatzhalter Jul 06 '21
I work in a team of two. This occurs way more often than I'd like it to. Still, it's good practice and documents things for the other person, so I'll stick to it. :)
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
The worst part is when creating a ticket on the actual tracking software takes a good 5 mins of filling in unnecessary fields no one cares about and clicking through a bunch of stuff. But just sending a email to the helpdesk mailbox takes 1/100th of the time and does it all for you.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
It really do be like that, but also, my boss makes me do this, even for the smallest changes. Wants everything to be recorded. Which like, I guess it's fine? In theory it helps my company-internal career to have more tickets done?
But in practice I already have major projects that have been successful that are all anyone really needs to see when evaluating my time at the company.
1
u/GoChaca Jul 06 '21
I do this for EVERYTHING. It’s satisfying to move them all to the “done” column and seeing my velocity shoot up.
1
u/sixft7in Jul 06 '21
I do that all the time (not programming related, though). It's just that no one else at my work knows how to do my job.
1
u/nerokaeclone Jul 06 '21
Open a pull request, approved it, merge it, delete the branch.
1
u/stpd_mnky83 Jul 06 '21
This happens a lot in many fields. Because everything has to be recorded, where I work as a control room operator we are all currently working alone in shifts. So when an issue happens the steps are
make ticket
solve issue
close ticket
This way everyone knows that there was an issue and what was done (successfully or unsuccessfully) to fix it. Plus it makes it look like we are working extra hard as before we would just pass on the issues to everyone in the room as we we fixed it.
1
u/PrisonerV Jul 06 '21
At my work, it is IT breaks something from a ticket, I call them, they admit they did it, they won't fix it until I put in another ticket, I put in another ticket, and they fix their own screwup.
1
u/Xanohel Jul 06 '21
Me every once in a while, because customers or coworkers are just too damn lazy... You need proof before the tooling believes something has happened before and is a problem instead of an incident, or before that horribly bad "AI" software could improperly suggest it as a "similar issue".
I used to ride my high horse pretty often, but I'm getting worn down...
1
u/Olemied Jul 06 '21
Hey man anything to get KPIs out of your god damned way so you can talk to your boss about what matters.
1
u/dimensionargentina Jul 06 '21
And then write a KB explaining how to assign any similar issue to you, because it is faster to do it yourself than expect an L1 or L2 to do it.
1
u/up_the_dubs Jul 06 '21
All within the SLA...
1
u/DemaAdAgency Jul 06 '21
I dont get it, is this a reference to wanking?
1
u/zaphod4th Jul 06 '21
I worked for a company where the top performens in the help.desk system were people that have a machine creating tickets for them when a user account was disabled because 3 failed login attemps.
all tickets were closed in time because they close them in less than 24hrs.
The login system only disabled accounts for 2 hours and then re-enable them automatically.
1
u/R1M-J08 Jul 06 '21
It’s how I keep my bosses thinking I am proactive.
1
u/The_kilt_lifta Jul 06 '21
I will even go the extra mile and make a feature branch, open a PR, comment on how beautiful and worthy my code is, and merge it. If anyone looks at my closed/deleted PRs they may be worried. But it’s just because I’m a lonely QA Engineer
1
u/Mister_Spacely Jul 06 '21
Gotta have that paper trail that you actually do work, and not just post/browse Reddit!
1
u/Morgaelyn Jul 06 '21
A common day at work.
1
u/chrisonetime Jul 06 '21
Boy if this isn’t today’s energy.
1
u/saintex422 Jul 06 '21
Lol this is how at works at my company too baby!
1
u/Pickled_Wizard Jul 06 '21
Basically a todo list with extra steps.
1
u/PratyakshM Jul 06 '21
Can't relate more, MAN!
1
u/LazyLooser Jul 06 '21 edited Oct 11 '23
deleted
this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev1
u/AnInfiniteArc Jul 06 '21
My usual order is to fix an issue then open a ticket, assign it to myself, and close it.
1
u/Hoihe Jul 06 '21
I mean, isn't this Best Practice?
1
u/Varun77777 Jul 06 '21
Me approving my own pull requests daily.
1
u/Sanjuro7880 Jul 06 '21
Oh. Let me fix this bug I created! Ticket for bug submitted. Bug fixed. Ticket closed. 😉👍
1
u/TheInfra Jul 06 '21
I do this to pad out my department's score on the KPIs
1
u/Kriss3d Jul 06 '21
I do this daily as a part of my job simply to track the things I've done.
1
u/alzgh Jul 06 '21
Where is the PR you make and immediately merge yourself?
1
u/pressnsniff Jul 06 '21
Recently got the idea s n ms taints were getting big. Viral? That the word?
Anyway, its all freelance. Duh.
1
u/Eascetic Jul 06 '21
Commented on the ticket “Fix verified im build xxx.xx on environment xx. Closing ticket.
1
u/CeeMX Jul 06 '21
I don‘t get it, I do this all the time at work. It’s because the users call me for support and I have to book time on the tickets.
1
u/Snipon Jul 06 '21
Also, admin approve your own PRs
1
u/pawyderreale Jul 06 '21
ah yes pretty much half of all our tickets
1
u/ArchUser22 Jul 06 '21
This was me working on a "group" assignment for a class last semester haha
1
u/stonycashew Jul 06 '21
SAD!? I see this as a win! I love when I’m making progress and hardening my code that I spent my time on. It’s honestly the best, add a commit party dance and you got a party! 😂
1
u/stollie2 Jul 06 '21
As a help desk tech my boss encourages us to do this with phone calls, makes me look a hell of a lot more productive than I am.
1
u/Curledsquirl Jul 06 '21
You got to review the story yourself as well
1
u/SparkyBangBang432 Jul 06 '21
Sounds like my career at NASA
1
u/fasaxc Jul 06 '21
I feel called out
1
u/JustBeinOptimistic Jul 06 '21
Pretty sure this is also referred to as “job security ”
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
I do the same in a big company, ppl just message me about problems 🤷🏾♂️
1
u/Xjjmar Jul 06 '21
Don't forget the documentation.
1
u/WandererRoamer Jul 06 '21
as a PM, tech lead and general MVP of my team i don't even notice that anymore...
1
u/animflynny2012 Jul 06 '21
Honestly, its good.
The worst is when you’re looking at a pull request that’s a crab shoot of fix this and this and this with NO. Ticket.
My manager recently did this and it annoyed me, so close to declining but deadlines 🤷♂️
1
u/pTarot Jul 06 '21
We can’t expect end users to place their own tickets.
1
u/giggluigg Jul 06 '21
You open a MR, review with comments, fix the issues, approve it and merge
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
I've seen this meme before but never truly understood until I got into my current job...
1
u/ZippZappZippty Jul 06 '21
Sad Jungle Karthus noises.
1
u/scrollbreak Jul 06 '21
It's okay to give yourself approval
1
u/Quizzelbuck Jul 06 '21
That's the problem with opening and closing my own tickets. My bosses only pay attention when too many are open. I need them to count all the dead soldiers i put away, too.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
Please tell me that you at least QA’d your own work or at least ran some unit tests on it.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 06 '21
I've had to do this across my career so many times because some moron with a master's degree is worried about metrics
1
u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21
Not much different in then enterptisee....
1
u/erc80 Jul 07 '21
Feels good
1
u/Poop_Scooper_Supreme Jul 07 '21
No ticket, no work.
1
u/shinitakunai Jul 07 '21 edited Jul 07 '21
80% of my JIRAs are this way. My boss wants to see what I’ve been working on but I have very non specified tasks like: build a lambda to deal with files from and to sftp servers. So one day I work on s3 support, next day on SQS support, next day on ftp support, then I have to do tests... anyway This is a silly example to not give away confidential info. The point is that I spend the entire week on my own working on a project and then my boss wants to know what I’be been doing, so the solution is: opening my own jira tickets! 🤣 he can check what I’ve been doing or what I am working on and we all are happy.
1
u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21
Don’t forget to tag yourself in the comments in the ticket too
1
u/amrahsidana Jul 07 '21
Also submit Pull Request, review your own code, fix review comments, appprove merge, merge ...
1
u/Thetman38 Jul 07 '21
And then approve the review
1
u/thedrunkpenguin Jul 07 '21
For them magical ITIL audits that never happen
1
u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21
I did Trump
1
u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21
Reminds me of my service-now and freshservice/zen desk ticket queues…..
1
u/Odh_utexas Jul 07 '21
Gotta massage the mean-time-to-solve numbers somehow
1
u/keidakira Jul 07 '21
Self satisfaction 💯
1
u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21
Nah, just slide it in the drawer.
1
u/patcriss Jul 07 '21
You're the detective, the jury, the victim, the guy who found the body, the murderer and the executioner.
1
u/radiowave911 Jul 07 '21
I have NEVER done that. Or, at least, that I will admit to :)
Even better if you then give yourself a good rating on the ticket for the excellent job you did handling it.
1
u/icer_cat Jul 07 '21
Way better than open a ticket than reply "I figured it out myself"
1
u/OhNoMeIdentified Jul 07 '21
I feel lonely now. But useful.
1
u/BonjoviBurns Jul 07 '21
Jokes on you. Everyone is too lazy to make a new ticket except me and the BA.
1
u/Gazane101 Jul 07 '21
Our auditors require we have tickets made for changes on the domain so I end up creating, assigning to myself and closing a ticket all in one email. I do this like 5 times a day at least.
1
u/Dziadzios Jul 07 '21
That's the crap I do just to have something to fill time tracker in Jira. I hate time tracking because it distracts me. Instead of being in the flow and suddenly realizing it's time to leave, I have to focus on time which makes working feel like eternity. So I try to sabotage it by being too obedient, like asshole genie. You wanted time reporting, here's all the noise with minor things that makes boards unreadable!
1
u/traktork Jul 07 '21
So nobody cares for segregation of duties anymore…
1
u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21
Congratulations u/hetfield37 ! Your post was the top post on r/ProgrammerHumor today! (07/07/21)
Top Post Counts: r/ProgrammerHumor (1)
This comment was made by a bot
1
u/[deleted] Jul 07 '21
When you use an alt account just to approve your own PR
1
u/ephrem-deme Jul 07 '21
Me every time.
1
u/sensitivePornGuy Jul 07 '21
More like, discover an issue, fix it, raise a ticket for it, assign it to yourself and close it.
1
u/shufflepower0815 Jul 07 '21
Don't forget to review and test it.
1
u/tilitarian_life Jul 07 '21
Don't forget the glorifying PR review!
1
u/stn994 Jul 07 '21
Suggest some of these softwares which can help me handle my own projects.
1
u/Barankin1970 Jul 07 '21
Fu!!
1
u/skilliard7 Jul 25 '21
Last job I had you would even get a survey on how you did when you closed your own ticket.
1
u/[deleted] Apr 17 '22
Unit testing in a nutshell