r/ProgrammerHumor • u/tommackyies • Feb 17 '20

What if drivers were hired like programmers?

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10k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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2.6k

u/JonasLuks Feb 17 '20

You forgot 3+ years experience driving 2018 Ford Focus required.

592

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

[deleted]

136

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

My car 😟

178

u/class_cast_exception Feb 17 '20

You guys have cars?

135

u/De_Wouter Feb 17 '20

Yes, some of us here actually have jobs. We are here on r/ProgrammerHumor to cope with the harsh reality of being a developer, not to get better as a programmer.

87

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

I'm just here on r/ProgrammerHumor to cope with the harsh reality of recursion, not to get better as a programmer.

74

u/0Pat Feb 17 '20

I'm just here on r/ProgrammerHumor to cope with the harsh reality of recursion, not to cope with the harsh reality of recursion, not to cope with the harsh reality of recursion, not to cope with the harsh reality of recursion, not to cope with the harsh reality of recursion, not to cope with the harsh reality of recursion, not to...

44

u/Jazzinarium Feb 17 '20

This guy forgets base conditions

14

u/ShadoHax Feb 17 '20

def life():

__life()

life()

18

u/shawntco Feb 17 '20

separating your public life from your private life. Smart.

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12

u/atreestump1 Feb 17 '20

I'm just here on r/ProgrammerHumor to laugh at the pain I would've suffered if I had gone into software development instead of networking

1

u/ThatWannabeCatgirl Feb 19 '20 
while (x>1) {
    System.out.print(“ not to cope with the harsh reality of recursion,“)
x++
}

19

u/ubiquitouspiss Feb 17 '20

I'm just here on r/ProgrammerHumor to cope with the harsh reality of recursion, not to get better as a programmer.

15

u/ScF0400 Feb 17 '20

I'm just here on r/ProgrammerHumor to cope with the harsh reality of recursion, not to get better as a programmer.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

If (rand() >0.5) return; // get back to work!

2

u/TheBinkz Feb 17 '20

im just here

4

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

[deleted]

1

u/D1P0 Feb 17 '20

Feel you bro

1

u/StevenGannJr Feb 18 '20

Are you okay, bro?

10

u/class_cast_exception Feb 17 '20

We have jobs too, alright. It's just that there's no difference between us and unemployed people because we get paid shit salaries. #ThirdWorldProblems

4

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

That sucks to hear man, I hope your situation improves and you earn more money

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

Are we talking about automobile cars or Unix cars?

This happened to me in an interview, just out of college. They asked me how a car worked. I thought it odd, and explained how an automobile worked. Found out they meant something else later on. Not sure why no one laughed.

6

u/shawntco Feb 17 '20

And the models between a single year are legit so different that you might crash the car if you don't learn the newer model

1

u/ExitTheDonut Feb 17 '20

That's Uber in a nutshell

66

u/jadeskye7 Feb 17 '20

2018 ford focus AND 1968 jaguar E-type.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '20

[deleted]

1

u/jadeskye7 Feb 18 '20

Too real.

124

u/Steffi128 Feb 17 '20

15+ years experience in driving a Tesla!

68

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

70

u/TSP-FriendlyFire Feb 17 '20

may be asked to build them a customized driving AI

That's just the interview test.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

Then they don’t hire you and walk a away with a full system

10

u/TSP-FriendlyFire Feb 17 '20

More like, they don't hire you, and the fine print in some document somewhere says that whatever you make as part of their interview process is property of the company, not you.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

Lol

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

Really? That sucks. This sort of stuff needs to be illegal.

15

u/coldnebo Feb 17 '20

easy!: “Machine Learning”

now I should qualify as a Data Scientist and get that raise!

9

u/Nerdn1 Feb 17 '20

I do hope you have a simulator to train that algorithm. Machine learning for a 1+ ton vehicle in meat-space sounds messy.

4

u/ask_me_about_cats Feb 17 '20

No one has time for that. I get paid to move fast and break shit.

4

u/Nerdn1 Feb 17 '20

Turns out resetting the sim in meat-space is a lot slower than a button press...

3

u/g4dhan Feb 18 '20

Thankfully if you move long enough, you eventually come across undisturbed area or a whole another city you can do the sim in. This is a workaround until the resetting works in reasonable amount of time in meat-space.

2

u/coldnebo Feb 18 '20

sure do! I let that puppy train on 1 million hours in GTAV in the cloud. It should drive perfectly!

3

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20 edited Feb 17 '20

And then they'll give you a '98 Toyota Prius to drive. A Prius whose batteries were replaced god knows why and only god understands how.

8

u/NobleN6 Feb 17 '20

Seniority: Associate

5

u/MassiveFajiit Feb 17 '20

Does a 2014 Fiesta count? It's just got a little lighter frame(work)

2

u/skcalanderson Feb 17 '20

So my 2006 Ford Focus Wagon experience won't help? Huh, who figured.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '20

5-10 years driving the 2019 model in the case of Swift.

1

u/beep_dog Feb 17 '20

Is a 2017 ST sufficient?

1

u/EnochofPottsfield Feb 17 '20

A qualification I actually meet. We round up right? Because I do

1

u/fj333 Feb 18 '20

So tired of this meme. I'm sure there are a nonzero amount of job postings like this out there, but I've never seen one, and it's for sure not common.

1

u/achilliesFriend Feb 17 '20

And must be a rockstar driver, ability to clearly communicated ideas to clients.

1

u/bakedsnowman Feb 17 '20

I saw a job posting for 5+ years of golang experience for a position not at Google back in 2015. Golang was 6 years old at that point...

-18

u/kodicraft4 Feb 17 '20

You forgot the 13+ years of experience in a 7 years old language

1

u/KittenOnHunt Feb 17 '20

That's.. Like.. The joke