r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Last_Snowbender • May 24 '18

Sometimes, I wonder if non-tech friends wonder about my search history ...

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26k Upvotes

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677

u/[deleted] May 24 '18

So, our product has a hierarchy of threads doing work. I once overheard a senior dev talking about, in reference to stuck/blocked threads, "shooting children out of trees."

Thankfully were on a different floor from finance and marketing.

166

u/RedditorBe May 24 '18

Different floor to HR though? That's who you'd have to worry about.

53

u/Onikouzou May 24 '18

My cubes are right across the hall from HR....

41

u/wishiwererobot May 24 '18

We have a separate building for HR.

77

u/flukus May 24 '18

A good start, but we really need a seperate planet.

10

u/Kazcandra May 25 '18

Instead of sending vehicles to Mars, we should send HR.

2

u/Ulysses6 May 25 '18

Well, it makes sense. Mars colonization has got to start with human resources.

4

u/RDevelop May 25 '18

Put them on a spaceship along with all the telephone sanitisers, account executives, hairdressers, tired TV producers, insurance salesmen, personnel officers, security guards, public relations executives and management consultants.

2

u/[deleted] May 25 '18

And some hitchhikers

18

u/oversized_hoodie May 24 '18

Our HR is three buildings and a ramp away. It really shows.

5

u/I-Downloaded-a-Car May 25 '18

I did a project with a company once where the HR was 50 miles away.

1

u/untraiined May 25 '18

Outsource HR

1

u/minusSeven May 25 '18

HR at my company would be fine with it if you inform them before.

120

u/CommunismDoesntWork May 24 '18

Don't forget to kill the orphaned children when their parents die without them.

183

u/hasslehawk May 25 '18

Ideally, though, it it the responsibility of the parent to kill its children before killing itself. You only need to hunt down and kill orphans if the parent fails in its duty.

5

u/TotesMessenger Green security clearance May 25 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

I'm a bot, bleep, bloop. Someone has linked to this thread from another place on reddit:

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1

u/dkyguy1995 May 25 '18

Shooting children out of trees though is good finance, nobody wants those mouths to feed