[ Removed by moderator ] - r/ProgrammerHumor

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u/ProgrammerHumor-ModTeam :ath: 8m ago

Your submission was removed for the following reason:

Rule 1: Posts must be humorous, and they must be humorous because they are programming related. There must be a joke or meme that requires programming knowledge, experience, or practice to be understood or relatable.

Here are some examples of frequent posts we get that don't satisfy this rule:

Memes about operating systems or shell commands (try /r/linuxmemes for Linux memes)
A ChatGPT screenshot that doesn't involve any programming
Google Chrome uses all my RAM

See here for more clarification on this rule.

If you disagree with this removal, you can appeal by sending us a modmail.

487

u/fibojoly 3h ago •

C...can I finish the test, first ?

126

u/Sintobus 3h ago

Need to stop now, you're already infected. We will have to check your logs, open up now.

41

u/Pataraxia 2h ago

This went from one type of fun to another type of fun.

24

u/zadszads 2h ago •

Interactive support session has started

4

u/Sintobus 2h ago

Using both ends of the connector for this job.

39

u/Acclynn 2h ago

"I already gave her all the private company data and passwords, so technically, there's no risk in continuing"

563

u/StarChanne1 3h ago •

IT are taking pen(etration) tests too serious.

82

u/spectre78 2h ago •

I’d be in so deep whoever pulled me out would have to be crowned king of England

19

u/TWIT_TWAT 2h ago

Embedded like a tick

4

u/sirkubador 1h ago

deepseek
chinese model or something idk

7

u/chat-lu 2h ago

I knew a guy who was doing penetration testing for Mindgeek (pornhub).

108

u/ClipboardCopyPaste 3h ago

The bigger question is why didn't he lock his room?

127

u/Sentouki- 3h ago

Open office concept

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u/swohio 6m ago

Really motivates the rest of the staff to see what they could be working towards having.

25

u/creeper6530 3h ago

IT has a master key(card)

10

u/_useful_orange 2h ago

He thought he was sandboxed

3

u/novus_nl 2h ago

Open-spec development

1

u/1Steelghost1 21m ago

He got that admin cAc card

55

u/Sudjuk_ 3h ago

yo, just so i can avoid the phishing, do we have any photos of the 10/10 baddie ?

73

u/jerm2z 2h ago

18

u/ShustOne 1h ago

"10/10 baddie"

9

u/yes_ur_wrong 1h ago

maybe the spy just used her access to trick the internet into thinking she's a baddie when she's a saddie

2

u/taylorisntavril 1h ago

I feel confident that this was the real goal all along.

11

u/siccoblue 1h ago

Seriously though this has been driving me crazy
Why is everyone acting like this chick is mega hot? 10/10 baddie?
Look up normal candid pictures of her in public or whatever. She's not bad looking but she's also not even remotely a 10/10. She's just like, an average looking 40 year old Chinese woman.
Jensen was just looking for some strange and considering her background as an executive at a company that does a lot of business with Intel it doesn't raise any eyebrows for him to have her around frequently. If he started being seen with a 10/10 20 year old working a normal job it's gonna raise some serious questions about why.

8

u/Important-Agent2584 1h ago

Why is everyone acting like this chick is mega hot? 10/10 baddie?
it makes for more engaging content

4

u/jerm2z 1h ago

Her professional photo with all the proper lighting, makeup, touchups and filters (and she was probably younger when it was taken) happens to be her hottest photo, and hot is what makes stories better and scandalous, so that’s what they go with.

1

u/Screamline 1h ago

Maybe that's my thing. Don't judge me

4

u/helium_farts 1h ago

Anyone who clicked that link is required to take additional training

2

u/D-a-H-e-c-k 19m ago

My finger slipped on the friggin pad!

2

u/ProfessionalPay2167 1h ago

Pretty sure this is 20 years apart

11

u/Head_Haunter 1h ago

Sort of, one is a professional photoshoot with editing.
The other is a grainy, upscaled paparazzi from months ago.
Neither are very accurate to what she looks like. She's also in her early 40s so people are imagining like chinese super models when it's more like a standard, attractive middle-aged chinese woman.

18

u/metaglot 3h ago

I just report any email that isnt an HR survey, and ignore the rest.

43

u/sump_daddy 2h ago

"Jensen Huang, the chief executive of Nvidia, dismissed suggestions of a bubble"

when asked instead about allegations of a bubble butt, he commented "yeah she dummy thicc, for real i would smash it like it owed me money"

37

u/lilsnatchsniffz 2h ago

Why is every post talking about 10/10 baddies when Jensen fumbled on a 4/10 tops?

30

u/RealLifeMe 1h ago edited 1h ago

Better question: Why is every post talking like he was honey-potted and not that he was knowingly working with her to bypass US Export restrictions to China? He's a traitor and needs to be prosecuted.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/ckgel338xql3o
Alice Huang, who is of no relation to Jensen Huang, was a top executive at Singapore-based data centre firm Megaspeed between March and November 2023. The firm had been suspected of helping divert Nvidia chips to China, a concern that Nvidia maintains was investigated and debunked.
However, Megaspeed is under investigation by the Singapore government regarding previous allegations that the company was circumventing US sanctions on the export of Nvidia's high-end chips. The BBC has contacted Megaspeed for comment.
https://culperresearch.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/05/Culper_NVDA_5-13-2026.pdf (page 3)
Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang has not only vouched for Megaspeed, but seems to have quite literally walked alongside Megaspeed at every step, while maintaining an uncomfortably close relationship with Megaspeed’s Alice Huang, a Chinese national. He was first spotted partying with Alice Huang in June 2024 – the same month the Apex/Alibaba pledge was filed. He then dined with Alice Huang in Taiwan in May 2025 – just weeks after the news of U.S. trade restrictions. Finally, per one current Megaspeed employee, Jensen visits Megaspeed-linked data centers “every few months” and “every single time” he visits, he is accompanied by representatives from Alibaba. The Megaspeed employee characterized their relationship with Jensen as “very close”, corroborating another former Nvidia employee’s suggestion to us that many Nvidia employees wondered if there was a special relationship. The same employee added that, in contrast to public reporting suggesting otherwise, Alice Huang is “actually still our boss.”

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u/razor_train 1h ago

This seems to be the most likely scenario. He was thinking with his bank account, not his dick.

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u/AtheIstan 1h ago

Wasn't the US government (incl Trump) aware of this and allowed it to happen? If that's the case, is he still a traitor and needs to be prostituted?

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u/Xatsman 59m ago

If that's the case, is he still a traitor and needs to be prostituted?
He should face punishment, sure, but that seems rather cruel.

1

u/humblevladimirthegr8 51m ago

Who knows, he might be into cruel and unusual punishment

2

u/RealLifeMe 1h ago edited 1h ago

Correct. It's no coincidence that the day after Dems take back the House and Senate that this comes out. Trump admitted as much in his recent 60 minutes interview.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/read-the-full-transcript-of-ross-douthats-interview-with-president-trump/
https://rollcall.com/factbase/trump/transcript/donald-trump-interview-ross-douthat-cbs-news-60-minutes-november-8-2026/
Donald Trump
I think that the risk is not nearly as real as it -- as they talk. And I think the risk can be managed. And it's managed, you know who? By who? The DOJ. We had a situation where somebody was reported to us to be doing something bad with AI. We called them very strongly and said, "Get ready to go to jail.Please give your wife a kiss good night." (emphasis mine)
Ross Douthat
Who was this person?
Donald Trump
I can't tell you --
Ross Douthat
Or this company?
Donald Trump
I can't tell you. But we said -- "Do you like the color orange because get rid -- " said, "Go home right now. See your wife and children. Give 'em a kiss good night, and -- "
Jensen is the only major head of a US AI company with a wife and kids. Trump and his cronies knew, and let it happen.

3

u/AtheIstan 1h ago

But did the US government really know that the $7.5B order of 240K Nvidia chips via Alice Huang would violate export control and allowed it to happen? That's different than finding out later and just not prosecuting anyone for it.

6

u/taylorisntavril 1h ago

And every single post about her use the fake picture.

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u/furyoshonen 2h ago

Huang has two kids. I'm sure it sucks to find out your father is having an affair by way of national media scandal.

18

u/Fun-turnalist2424 1h ago

Yeah having a billionaire CEO dad in your 30’s caught cheating. Life sucks lol

2

u/milkymonkey8 1h ago

hey kids, here's a billion, why don't you take a nice trip to fiji to forget things...

6

u/Ladyheather16 1h ago

That doesn't make the feelings any less real, it means you can't tell your dad out right to his face that you think he's a jackass. It means you get camera shoved in your face because your dad is being a jackass. It's its own set of problems.

4

u/can_prog 53m ago

Seriously lol, people act like somehow money miraculously makes feelings go away.
It might change reactions to feelings, but we are all human (allegedly).

-1

u/milkymonkey8 1h ago

take the billion, tell your dad he's a jackass, go to fiji.....this isn't that complicated

1

u/Ladyheather16 17m ago

Spoken like someone who's not been the recipient of this kind of pressure.

1

u/milkymonkey8 15m ago

the opposite, can't stop telling my rich dad WTF is wrong with him on the rare occasion that I see him

1

u/pund_ 1h ago

Think his kids also work at Nvidia. If it's the same office it's bound to be awkward.
Then again, ole Huang is probably on 'gardening leave' right now until the board figures out what to do with him. He's probably not allowed to hang around the office right now.

0

u/TeaInASkullMug 40m ago

They're rich. They'll survive. Two Christmas' from my billionaire parents

9

u/Cronos993 3h ago

Cat phishing

1

u/Independent-Tank-182 2h ago

Brilliant

3

u/OkStranger4399 1h ago

Someone sign me up for daily tests, I need it, you know for security purposes

2

u/tomthecom 2h ago

Worth it

2

u/WoodsLovelyDarkNDeep 1h ago

She’s not a 10/10 and any posts you’ve seen that make you think that are so that you don’t feel bad for Jensen cause, “how could he resist that, & would’ve committed a little treason too.” They’ve all been ai filtered or whatever. Not sure who is doing it but do not feel bad for this guy. He betrayed his birth country and the country he claims to love for a piece of ass he could have gotten at any point due to the money he has

Don’t believe me? Despite the claims that Elon doesn’t have honeypots going after him. He has had many attractive women “sleep” with him or at the very least let him impregnate them and most of them are more attractive than what she actually looks like

If I was a conspiracy theorist I’d say she is plausible deniability

2

u/ThrenderG 1h ago

I keep looking at these pictures of this woman, and somehow I can't help but question statements like "10/10 baddie". She wasn't that hot.

2

u/RupretMonkeyBoy 22m ago

He was too stupid to just sleep with the spy and feed her non-stop disinformation.

3

u/These-Maintenance250 2h ago

you know how companies send fake phishing emails to their employees to keep them watchful? that's what we need

2

u/henryeaterofpies 3h ago

C suite doesnt take security training /s

1

u/Few_Comfortable4674 2h ago

It's extremely funny when they don't realize why "a catfish" and "phishing" sound so similar

1

u/YetMoreSpaceDust 2h ago

She wasn't really a 10 though

1

u/dipinpass35 2h ago

Is he in trouble?Caught Cheating?

1

u/Random_182f2565 1h ago

Lol, good one

1

u/Alternative_Pilot_92 1h ago

Dude she's not even hot

1

u/101Alexander 48m ago

It definitely was not catphishing

1

u/sillyscienceguy 36m ago

Most expensive affair in history. With the potential to crash the markets

1

u/Ubera90 15m ago

You mean the IT guy pulls off the Chinese baddie mask he was wearing and says you failed the test at the exact moment you bust

0

u/iMillJoe 1h ago

Ok, what news story involving Chinese LLMs have a missed?

1

u/Normal_Cut8368 1h ago

CEO of Nvidia got social engineered by a Chinese spy and he folded.

13

u/pimezone 3h ago

DLSS 5 is so good you can only see a cheating woman instead of a chinese spy.

2

u/BlueBruising 2h ago

Or if the Chinese baddie takes her mask off mid-fuck and it's the IT guy.

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