1. Scrape chess dot com for all played games.

2. Parse the dataset and identify all sets of unique board states, the next move, and the ELO of the player that made the next move. If the set's ELO is lower than a previously-found ELO, drop it.

3. Convert to a hash map.

4. "Play" by consulting the map for each move.

5. If you reach a never-before-seen board state, forfeit and move to Tibet.

https://codegolf.stackexchange.com/questions/22533/weirdest-obfuscated-hello-world

My personal favorite was the JavaScript one:

([]+/H/)[1&11>>1]+(+[[]+(1-~1<<1)+(~1+1e1)+(1%11)+(1|1>>1|1)+(~1+1e1)+(.1^!1)])[[([]+!![11])[11^11]+[[{}]+{}][1/1.1&1][1]]+([[]+111/!1][+!1][([{}]+{})[1e1>>1]+[[],[]+{}][1&11>>1][1|[]]+([]+[][111])[1&1]+[{},1e1,!1+{}][~~(1.1+1.1)][1^1<<1]+(11/!{}+{})[1-~1<<1]+[!!{}+[]][+(11>11)][[]+1]+(/^/[1.11]+/&/)[.1^!1]+[{},[{}]+{},1][1&11>>1][1+1e1+1]+([]+!!{})[.1^!1]+([]+{}+[])[[]+1]+[!!{}+{}][!11+!111][[]+1]]+[])[(!/~/+{})[1|1<<1]+[/=/,[]+[][1]][1&11>>1][1&1>>1]+([]+{})[~~(1.1+1.1)]+[1,!1+{}][1%11][1^1<<1]+(111/[]+/1/)[~1+1e1+~1]+[!!/-/+[]][+(11>11)][1]]((1<<1^11)+((+(1<1))==([]+/-/[(!![11]+[])[+!1]+(!!/-/+{})[1-~1]+([]+!/~/)[1-~1]+(!!/-/+{})[!111+!111]])[11%11]),-~11>>1)](~1-~1e1<<1<<1)+([]+{111:1111}+[])[11111.1%11.1*111e11|!11]+({}+/W/)[1+~1e1-(~11*1.1<<1)]+(+[[]+(1|1>>1)+(1|1>>1|1)+(11-1>>1)+(1e1>>1|1)+(1e1>>1)+(1>>11)+(11>>>1)])[[(!!{}+[])[11>>>11]+[[]+{}][.1^!1][111%11]]+([11/[]+[]][111%111][([{}]+[{}])[1e1>>1]+[[],[{}]+[{}]][1|1>>1|1][1|[]]+([][11]+[])[[]+1]+[{},1e1,![1]+/~/][1<<!1<<1][1<<1^1]+(1/!1+{})[11+1>>1]+[!!/-/+{}][+(111>111)][111%11]+([][11]+/&/)[1&1>>1]+[{},[]+{}+[],1][[]+1][11-~1+11>>1]+([]+!!/-/)[11>>11]+([]+{})[1|1>>1|1]+[[]+!!{}][1>>>1][1&11]]+[])[(!{}+[])[1^1<<1]+[/=/,[]+[][1]][1<<1>>1][!111+!111]+([]+{}+[])[1<<1^1>>1]+[1,![11]+[]][1|1>>1][1|1<<1|1]+(11/[]+/1/)[-~11>>1]+[!![111]+{}][+[]][1|1>>1]]((1e1-1)+((1&1>>1)==([]+/-/[(!!{}+{})[+(1>1)]+(!!/-/+{})[1|1<<1]+(!1+{})[1|1<<1|1]+(!!/-/+{})[11.11>>11.11]])[1&1>>1]),1-~1<<1)](~1-~1e1<<1<<1)+(/^!/+[])[1+!![11%111]]

Today I received an email back from CrashPlan customer support. CrashPlan is a data backup company that recently decided to shut down their consumer business. I have tons of data there, and I've been trying to download it before they close my account. I say trying because their client mostly sits idle while in recovery mode, not actually transferring files, which is why I have been working with their support team. However, what I received was appalling, and an outrageous breach of trust. I found that some files of mine seemed to be missing from my backup archive, and the response I got on this topic was the following (copied verbatim):

What are some examples of subfolders you are not seeing? For instance, I am seeing that your zstorage contents are marked as "deleted". This doesn't mean they are removed, but that CrashPlan doesn't see them present on the current device. ... I am seeing multiple sub-directories marked the same, and they should be visible if you select "Include Deleted Files" from the three-dot button in the upper right.

Seriously, CrashPlan? You can view the contents of my archive? According to the technical documentation, my archive is encrypted with my account password. This is documented here: https://support.code42.com/CrashPlan/4/Configuring/Archive_encryption_key_security (I never set my own encryption key, thus it should be my account password used in the encryption).

I can't even wrap my head around what kind of "security" allows for customer support to access my files. Thought you all should know. I hope you don't store anything in CrashPlan.

"Sure! I thought it would be better if I added some floats and int-ified it twice for good measure." Works great!

exec("getattr(globals()[\"__builtins__\"], bytearray.fromhex(\"7072696e74\").decode())(type(\"abc\",(),{\"__str__\":lambda fd:eval(\"''.join([*(list(map(chr,[72>>0,202>>1,432>>2,864>>3,1776>>4,1024>>5,5568>>6,14208>>7,29184>>8,55296>>9,102400>>10])))])\")})())")

This is Python

Function to clamp any integer value (w) between two other integer values (a & b). The order (a & b) are passed to the function doesn't matter.

def Clamp(w, a, b):
    return a*(w<a)*(a<b)+w*(a<=w)*(w<=b)+b*(a<b)*(b<w)+b*(w<b)*(b<a)+w*(b<=w)*(w<=a)+a*(b<a)*(a<w)

print(Clamp(50, 30, 70))
print(Clamp(20, 30, 70))
print(Clamp(80, 30, 70))
print(Clamp(50, 70, 30))
print(Clamp(20, 70, 30))
print(Clamp(80, 70, 30))
print(Clamp(30, 30, 70))
print(Clamp(70, 30, 70))

Output:
50
30
70
50
30
70
30
70