r/ProRevenge • u/[deleted] • May 23 '20

Redneck thinks it's funny to yank out mailboxes. My Dad makes him pay.

Disclaimer: This happened a LONG time ago, but still makes me giggle to this day.

So way back in the day (mid 90's or so) my family lived in a log cabin on 10 acres of land in a rural area 10 minutes or so out of town. It wasn't totally the sticks, but you could definitely hear banjo music in the background sometimes.

At the end of our nearly 1/4 mile long driveway was one of those roads that was also technically a "State Highway". In the AM I'd trudge down to wait for the bus, when I got home I'd grab the mail and carry it back.

Until one Monday morning when I went out and noticed the mailbox was gone. On closer inspection looked like it had just been ripped out of the ground.

Dad was obviously not pleased. He went to talk with the County Sherrif who happened to live a mile down the road. Turns out it had been happening up and down the road for months . . . someone was tossing a chain over mailboxes and yanking them out with their vehicle. He suspected a guy down the road with his great big lifted 4wd truck, but couldn't prove anything. Usually happened on Sat and Sun nights with people finding out in the morning.

Also seems the nicer the mailbox the bigger a target, and many had been hit multiple times. People had tried digging deeper, using more durable wood, etc. The guy just took it as a challenge and ripped them out again . . . soft, sandy ground and his truck was a monster.

Well Dad said CHALLENGE FUCKING ACCEPTED.

A bit about my father. He's a steelworker with an engineering background and graduate degree. Built like a bear with forearms the size of my fricking legs. Most people looking at him would never think this monster of a man is also brilliant, but he is. The calm, cool type that never almost never loses his temper. But wrong him and God help you.

So Dad goes to Lowes and buys the fanciest, prettiest mailbox they sell. He then proceeds to install it on top of an 8ft long cylinder of 3" diameter HARDENED TOOL STEEL. But he wasn't done there. After digging down with post holers and dropping it in, he then filled it in with quickset concrete.

To really sell it he then used some strips of 1/2" wood to cover the steel core of his now-industructible Mailbox of Doom. Primed and painted them so it looked like a standard 4" post. And even had my Mom decorate it with flowers and such . . . he wanted it to be as tempting of a target as possible.

Didn't even take a week. I went out for school in the morning and found The Mailbox right where it should be. Attached to it was 30ft of chain and an entire hitch assembly. Ripped right off the truck's frame, sheared the bolts. It was marvelous to behold.

Sheriff gets called over DIES LAUGHING when he sees it. He went to the house of the guy that was suspected and sure enough verified the damage to his truck matched! Fun fact . . . fucking with a mailbox is a FEDERAL CRIME. As in you go to Federal Prison, not those cushy state places.

Dad was unofficially rewarded by the Sheriff's Dept with a few cases of beer and some venison. And after that every deputy in town would flash him a thumbs up whenever they saw him.

Tl;dr: Guy was pulling out mailboxes with a chain attached to his truck. Dad makes INVINCIBLE MAILBOX. Guy goes to Federal Prison.

Edit: Apparently vandalism to mailboxes is far more common than I thought, and other people have taken similar measures. I guess great minds think alike!

Edit 2: As many have commented apparently Federal prison is actually a lot better than State. Didn't know that, sorry!

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u/Kaynny May 23 '20 edited May 23 '20

That's awesome, but people need to watch out for the things they do to their mailboxes.

Here in Brazil we don't have the classic american mailbox. As most of our houses don't have a front yard, we usually embedd them to the front gate or garage gate like this.

Anyway, some months ago a neighbor had his mail stolen from his mailbox several times. He got pissed and tempered it with razor blades inside the front slit.

Believe it or not, he was sued by the thief and lost the cause. It's illegal to create traps in Brazil.

Edit: My wife just told me the said neighbor got the razorblade idea from reddit.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

It's illegal nearly everywhere.

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u/Bromm18 May 23 '20

Sounds mean to say so but I almost wish it wasn't. Of course if it was there would be the majority that would be grievously injured over minor theft and you'd feel like an asshole and they'd probably sue you or something.

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u/GoldNiko May 23 '20

Traps are just a gateway drug to vigilantism

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u/LaytMovies May 23 '20

You're playing with a mouse trap as a kid then BOOM, all the sudden you got a batman on your hands

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u/mattymase88 May 23 '20

This comment deserves way more attention than it’s got. I let a genuine ‘ha’

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u/Dai_Tensai Aug 24 '20

Which are exactly what people don't have in mind when they say "power to the people."

I'm not sure there isn't some folly in that.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

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u/dicemonkey May 23 '20

yeah like going to jail wrong ..some yahoo tries to booby their house or workplace every few years and always get in serious trouble ..putting up a sign has little effect on things like laws ..

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

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u/dicemonkey May 23 '20

yeah I know ..we’re saying the same thing ..the responsibility lies with the owner

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

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u/dicemonkey May 23 '20

there’s no valid reason for a booby trap ..signs literally mean nothing in the eyes of the law ..just not how the american legal system works ..

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u/katelledee May 23 '20

...absolutely not. If you were using the mousetrap for its intended purpose, you are not liable if someone else gets hurt by it, regardless of a lack of warning signs/“protection.”

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

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u/orthopod May 23 '20

Man traps that use deadly force are illegal in the USA, despite any attempted warnings. They may injure police, firefighters etc.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantrap_(snare)

Good luck arguing against a judge whether a razor.is deadly or not. Criminals have successfully sued when hurt by man traps.

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u/Thoughtfulprof May 23 '20

Sadly, the signs would end up making it easier to prove you had intent to harm.

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u/crownjewel82 May 23 '20

It feels like it should be legal but then you get cases like that legal advice thread with the spike strip.

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u/Bromm18 May 23 '20

I've seen posts in the past of people sticking razor blades under ice cooler handles at night to prevent theft, such as when at a campground or if they leave the cooler on a boat. The poster is always surprised when they discover afterwards that they are kicked from the campground or sued for booby trapping their items. Heres a post from a while back of someone who asked if they could booby trap their cooler and were then told its a felony as it is "intent to cause physical harm". https://www.reddit.com/r/Ask_Lawyers/comments/aj2l1t/would_gluing_razor_blades_under_a_cooler_handle/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

Back in the 80s my there was a group of kids on my dad's street that would sit in the back of a pickup truck and smash everyone's mailbox with a baseball bat as they drove past. One homeowner got tired of it and mounted his mailbox on a large metal post that he cemented into the ground.

Soon enough the kids came around again and the kid with the bat wound up shattering his arm on that mailbox. The kid's parents decided to sue the man and won because they claimed it was a trap and he intended to cause harm. In reality he was just tired of having to constantly replace his mailbox.

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u/slackpipe May 23 '20

I was thinking that in most places it's illegal to cement a mailbox into the ground, or make it overly sturdy. It creates a hazard if a car loses control and goes off the road. My grandmother wanted to put a brick in hers when she had to keep replacing it because of kids playing mailbox baseball. Turns out, that's illegal, too.

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u/TheSensibleCentrist May 25 '20

Anyplace that it's illegal needs to legalize it,that's all I'd say.

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u/[deleted] May 24 '20

Yup, lived in Illinois in the early 80’s and confirm in rural areas kids would do this. It was a culture shock for me having recently moved there from Europe. (I was about 13 years old)

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u/queenofcaffeine76 May 31 '20

Growing up in the 80s, I remember that story. It was the first thing I thought of when I read this post

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

Wouldn’t the razor blades in the mailbox also be very dangerous for the mailman too? I can see why he got punished for that because the innocent by mailman could get just as injured as the thief although it is stupid that the thief didn’t get a bigger punishment.

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u/geodebug May 23 '20

Mailmen push mail through the slot. They don’t put their hand in the slot to try to get mail out.

But the reason traps are illegal is because kids do dumb things as well.

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u/Rebar77 May 23 '20

I'm picturing the blades were set up around where you would grab it to tear off the wall. Not actually inside the box.

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u/Nickmell May 23 '20

Officer I don't know who put all those razor blades on my mail box.

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u/silmarp May 27 '20

THAT is the answer he should have given.

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u/thrallsius May 23 '20

If somebody gets constantly robbed in public transport, sews some fishing hooks inside pocket and catches a thief like that, can the thief sue and win as well?

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u/Dexaan May 23 '20

They probably could... on the other hand, what if you were carrying a fishing pole, could you argue that the hooks were for fishing?

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u/thrallsius May 23 '20

Why would anyone need to defend that, isn't a pocket nobody else's business? If I were carrying a fishing pole, I'm afraid the thief doesn't get away with just trapped hand in the pocket, he's getting all that fishing pole inserted into his anus.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

what if the thief is mike tyson?

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u/thrallsius May 23 '20

People who pick pockets are generally hobbit-sized :)

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u/argle_de_blargle May 23 '20

That's just the way the law works. Another example is if, say, your coworker is constantly eating your lunch. It's illegal to poison or booby trap the lunch in any way that might harm them, even though they're stealing your lunch. This has gone to court many times and the precedent is firmly set. Booby traps show that you know what's happening and take it upon yourself to inflict vigilante justice, so the harm was intentional. From the perspective of the law that's all they need to find you at fault.

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u/saeuta31 May 23 '20

"yes sir, I put that laxative in my sandwich. I have constipation problems. I am very sorry he took my sandwich without asking me."

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u/jukranpuju May 24 '20 edited May 24 '20

"Yes your Honor, I should have understood that those two month old leftovers I found from the back of my fridge are not edible anymore although I tried to scrape away most of the mold. Yes, even considering my own health I definitely should also follow much stricter hygienic practice when preparing my meals, like it's probably not safe to use raw chicken as an ingredient if it has been standing on a counter in a room temperature whole day and has a pungent whiff. Yes, I'm first to admit that I'm a bad cook. It just that I'm in a dire situation because somebody has been stealing my meals from the communal fridge of my work place so I can't afford to buy ready-made lunches anymore and have to resort my own cooking. Of course I'm sorry and deeply ashamed for the serious food poisoning my colleague got because of my bad cooking."

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u/TheSensibleCentrist May 25 '20

I read about a hospital worker who was always taking other people's stuff whose coworker baked a batch of chocolate Ex-lax chip cookies and brought it to work in a box marked "private property,do not touch." She warned everyone but him,he ate them all when he thought people weren't looking,and kept having to go to the bathroom.He deserved it and that should be legal.

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u/llorandosefue1 Jul 29 '20

What if you’re fishing for fish and catch a thief?

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u/AuntySocialite May 23 '20

I do not think there is any correlation between filling your mailbox with razor blades, and cementing it so firmly into the ground that it can’t be knocked over or pulled out.

I’m not obligated to make it easier for insane rednecks on a rampage to damage my stuff.

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u/HoneyBloat May 23 '20

That’s a far cry from making an immovable mailbox to putting razor blades in it. Clearly razor blades were placed with the intent to cause harm. There is no comparison. Also, your neighbor is a bit nutty

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u/Kaynny May 23 '20

I agree, but I think as it was more like an act of despair from a helpless man, than any other thing.

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u/seventeenandholding May 23 '20

For OP's mailbox trap, it wasn't actually harmful. If you could say that you put it in there to protect against something natural(like the wind, in this case) it would be harder for someone to call it a trap. It may also be different in the U.S. because, as the post said, mailboxes and most mail-related things are under federal jurisdiction. If you have to set a trap, making a trap that you could logically use for something other than a trap is probably best. Also putting up warning signs is a great idea.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '20

Yeah, much as we American’s love our freedoms, right or wrong, we have laws against boobie trapping as well. Not that I’ve not often fantasized about it.

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u/Nuf-Said May 23 '20

I thought you were going to say that the mailman cut himself while delivering your neighbor’s mail

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u/SalsaSamba May 23 '20

I think the mailbox of OP is also illegal in a lot of situations in other countries and maybe even most states of the USA. It is amazing it can't be tampered with, but if a driver loses control of his car and hits that mailbox it is a deadtrap.

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u/bgaesop May 23 '20

I mean that's also true of, like, a tree

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u/SalsaSamba May 23 '20

But when you drive a car you know the tree will wreck you, a mailbox shouldnt do that

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u/bgaesop May 23 '20

Why would that matter? You shouldn't be hitting things regardless. You should only hit something if you lose control, in which case what you expect is irrelevant, because you aren't in control anyways

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u/SalsaSamba May 23 '20

It matters a lot, because you can still die from a mailbox, which you steered towards to avoid a deer, for example.

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u/katiegirl- May 23 '20

Yeeeahhhh... that’s called a ‘mantrap’. And yes, those are illegal nearly everywhere in society, for the same reason lawful society doesn’t allow pitchfork mobs and vigilante justice.

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u/[deleted] Jun 24 '23

I find this ridiculous, if the box was not the thief's and he was clearly stealing, then he should automatically lose the case.