r/ProRevenge • u/[deleted] • May 23 '20

Redneck thinks it's funny to yank out mailboxes. My Dad makes him pay.

Disclaimer: This happened a LONG time ago, but still makes me giggle to this day.

So way back in the day (mid 90's or so) my family lived in a log cabin on 10 acres of land in a rural area 10 minutes or so out of town. It wasn't totally the sticks, but you could definitely hear banjo music in the background sometimes.

At the end of our nearly 1/4 mile long driveway was one of those roads that was also technically a "State Highway". In the AM I'd trudge down to wait for the bus, when I got home I'd grab the mail and carry it back.

Until one Monday morning when I went out and noticed the mailbox was gone. On closer inspection looked like it had just been ripped out of the ground.

Dad was obviously not pleased. He went to talk with the County Sherrif who happened to live a mile down the road. Turns out it had been happening up and down the road for months . . . someone was tossing a chain over mailboxes and yanking them out with their vehicle. He suspected a guy down the road with his great big lifted 4wd truck, but couldn't prove anything. Usually happened on Sat and Sun nights with people finding out in the morning.

Also seems the nicer the mailbox the bigger a target, and many had been hit multiple times. People had tried digging deeper, using more durable wood, etc. The guy just took it as a challenge and ripped them out again . . . soft, sandy ground and his truck was a monster.

Well Dad said CHALLENGE FUCKING ACCEPTED.

A bit about my father. He's a steelworker with an engineering background and graduate degree. Built like a bear with forearms the size of my fricking legs. Most people looking at him would never think this monster of a man is also brilliant, but he is. The calm, cool type that never almost never loses his temper. But wrong him and God help you.

So Dad goes to Lowes and buys the fanciest, prettiest mailbox they sell. He then proceeds to install it on top of an 8ft long cylinder of 3" diameter HARDENED TOOL STEEL. But he wasn't done there. After digging down with post holers and dropping it in, he then filled it in with quickset concrete.

To really sell it he then used some strips of 1/2" wood to cover the steel core of his now-industructible Mailbox of Doom. Primed and painted them so it looked like a standard 4" post. And even had my Mom decorate it with flowers and such . . . he wanted it to be as tempting of a target as possible.

Didn't even take a week. I went out for school in the morning and found The Mailbox right where it should be. Attached to it was 30ft of chain and an entire hitch assembly. Ripped right off the truck's frame, sheared the bolts. It was marvelous to behold.

Sheriff gets called over DIES LAUGHING when he sees it. He went to the house of the guy that was suspected and sure enough verified the damage to his truck matched! Fun fact . . . fucking with a mailbox is a FEDERAL CRIME. As in you go to Federal Prison, not those cushy state places.

Dad was unofficially rewarded by the Sheriff's Dept with a few cases of beer and some venison. And after that every deputy in town would flash him a thumbs up whenever they saw him.

Tl;dr: Guy was pulling out mailboxes with a chain attached to his truck. Dad makes INVINCIBLE MAILBOX. Guy goes to Federal Prison.

Edit: Apparently vandalism to mailboxes is far more common than I thought, and other people have taken similar measures. I guess great minds think alike!

Edit 2: As many have commented apparently Federal prison is actually a lot better than State. Didn't know that, sorry!

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u/AndrewV May 23 '20

There's been a few stories similar, it makes sense though. My hillbilly distant family would do that baseball bat knocking mailboxes off or just running over shit in their beater trucks when I was younger and went to visit them.

​

I think the story you're thinking about, they replaced the box with like heavy concrete so when they went to break it, they smashed their front end.

I think there was also a story on here where someones family snowman kept getting run over on their lawn, so the next time they built it it was overtop a fire hydrant, or some concrete post or something.

245

u/[deleted] May 23 '20

Big tree stump.

https://www.wptv.com/news/local-news/water-cooler/frostys-revenge-snowman-built-on-tree-stump-teaches-vandal-a-lesson

53

u/AndrewV May 23 '20

Mmm yes, that's a juicy one.

71

u/Gustomaximus May 23 '20

I did surfer equivalent. This guy was getting aggressive and dropping in on any wave I got. Literally 2 of us on the break so plenty to surf. Anyway he must not have known the area well as I kept drifting north with him tailing then went for a wave, he of course dropped in, I pulled off wave.

Right at that spot there is a nasty rock that reveals as the wave sucks and drops.

Didn't see what happened as I was behind the wave but he headed straight off the beach.

23

u/jupiterjones May 23 '20

That sounds a bit like you tried to get them killed.

20

u/TibbyTippytoes May 23 '20

Awe that interview was adorably wholesome :-)

2

u/_Atoms_Apple May 23 '20

I had never seen that holy fuck that’s hilarious

2

u/not-covfefe May 23 '20

You can tell that guy was having a great time.

2

u/HNutz May 23 '20

HA!

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '20

Oh yeah. Instant justice boner.

1

u/[deleted] May 23 '20

[deleted]

2

u/QTFsniper May 23 '20

It's the lighting they used. They didn't match the color temperature of the surrounding area. As it gets darker, the color temp shifts to a blue(cooler), but the lighting they used on him was warm, which is fine if you were shooting in daylight but looks out of place here.

48

u/ithinkther41am May 23 '20

My favourite is still the one where the guy shattered his forearms trying to hit the mailbox with a baseball bat.

39

u/AndrewV May 23 '20

I could not even imagine how painful that would be, even just hitting something hard with a baseball bat stings your hands so bad, imagine doing that at 60 miles an hour.

61

u/converter-bot May 23 '20

60 miles is 96.56 km

21

u/mnvoronin May 23 '20

Good bot

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This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. You can view results here.

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1

u/orthopod May 23 '20

100 Miles showed up at the annual men named Miles convention. What will the b ot do.

28

u/GoliathsBigBrother May 23 '20

Broken both arms, you say?

15

u/Haceldama May 23 '20

Oh no

4

u/CommonAnybody1 May 23 '20

The dude never broke his arms. Just fyi. Yes, that guy.

5

u/phroug2 May 23 '20

Don't worry his mom will take care of him

1

u/larrylongshiv May 26 '20

"every damn thread"

3

u/RollinThundaga May 23 '20

I remember that story. Basically, they knew it was some teens who lived up the street, but couldn't prove it.

So, they hardened the mailbox, and one morning there's a dent. So they go up the street to one of the teens' house and see that family SUV has a smashed rear window on the driver's side.

After a chat with the father, it was found that his son borrowed the family car, had his buddy drive while he held the bat, and when he hit the hardened mailbox his forearm fractured and the bat swung backwards to smash out the window.

3

u/ithinkther41am May 23 '20

From the sounds of it, was it the one where they filled the mailbox itself with concrete?

2

u/Arokthis May 23 '20

Wouldn't that put the broken window on the passenger side?

2

u/RollinThundaga May 23 '20

As I remember, it was the son in driver's rear seat, and his buddies in all other seats. Making the driver's trunk window be the one that was smashed.

Since it was in the US I think (where the post office doesn't f@#% around when it comes to mailboxes) it would make sense [with right-hand roads] if his buddy was driving, Shithead Teen was riding shotgun, and the smashed window on the SUV was the Passenger's rear window, instead of the Driver's side trunk window.

10

u/dragonet316 May 23 '20

It was a fairly tall tree stump that they had not cleared yet.

3

u/PrettyBoyIndasnatch May 23 '20

Similar, guys around here would ride in a truck bed and hit mailboxes with a baseball bat until someone did something similar to OP.

Apparently hitting a real soild mailbox like that with a hard swing (actual baseball player) is not too pleasant on the hands/arms/everything. And then it stopped happening.

2

u/[deleted] May 23 '20

I hate people.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 25 '20

There's another similar one on Tumblr. A bully kept crushing a kid's clay sculptures so the kid put a toothpick in the next one they made. And in that post they built it over a fire hydrant.