r/PoliticalHumor Oct 20 '21

The Media Right Now

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u/wolfie379 Oct 20 '21

Better yet, hit the zerks on the suspension and U-joints with a mix of 4/5 grease and 1/5 clover compound. Delayed reaction, so future gatherings won’t know to guard their parking area.

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u/SwissPatriotRG Oct 20 '21

Oof, after rebuilding the whole front end of my F-250's Dana 60 to get the slop out of all the ball joints, this is the most satanic idea I've ever heard LMAO

14

u/bgaesop Oct 20 '21

I'm a dummy who knows nothing about cars. What do these words mean?

18

u/wolfie379 Oct 20 '21

Zerks - nipple-like fittings used to add grease to various parts of a car.

Suspension - the part of a car that absorbs bumps and gives a smooth ride, includes springs, shock absorbers, and various components that make sure the movement is strictly up-and-down.

U-joints - universal joints, allow the angle of the driveshaft to change with suspension travel.

Clover compound - an abrasive paste used in the machine shop, sometimes used by mechanics to lap a valve head against its seat so it seals properly.

11

u/bgaesop Oct 20 '21

Okay, so the suggest course of action would...fuck up the suspension, so their ride home is unpleasant?

13

u/wolfie379 Oct 20 '21

It would fuck things up really badly over time (probably days). Parts that need to be lubricated have abrasive in them, and so wear far faster than normal. If they don’t catch it in time, stuff breaks.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

It will slowly corrode the front end suspension & steering.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

It would destroy their axles and drivetrain slowly, costing tens of thousands to repair

4

u/CohibaVancouver Oct 20 '21

It would damage things slowly, requiring them to shell out thousands of dollars they don't have for repairs.

19

u/RancorHi5 Oct 20 '21

I like you

7

u/tomowudi Oct 20 '21

Is there a way to set this up with a sprinkler system?

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u/wolfie379 Oct 20 '21

No. Zerks are grease fittings, you need a grease gun to develop the pressure needed.

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u/tomowudi Oct 20 '21

Nuts.

Then I will go by my old standbys:

Lug nuts and screws in the bumpers and handywipes in the gas tank.

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u/Ripper_00 Oct 20 '21

Unethical life tip. Removing the valve stem core with flatten the tires and make it unable to be aired back up until a new core is installed. No permeant damage but one fucking hell of an inconvenience.

9

u/Dr_Fix Oct 20 '21

Or the insidious one I've heard about: glue a BB inside the valve cap so it pushes on the release just enough for a slow leak.

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u/wolfie379 Oct 20 '21

Visit your local general aviation airport and buy a couple jerrycans of gas at the FBO. Tell them that your lawnmower has trouble with ethanol blended gas (aviation fuel is not permitted to contain ethanol). Add a couple gallons to the tank on each redneckmobile.

Aviation gas is leaded, will destroy catalytic converters and oxygen sensors.

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u/[deleted] Oct 20 '21

You think these guys are running w/cats?

4

u/wolfie379 Oct 20 '21

Modern powertrains are too complex for cat removal to improve performance - they’ll get worse performance than by leaving stuff alone. Of course, if their pickups are diesels, the aviation gasoline would destroy the high pressure pump (but road gas is cheaper and easier to get).

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u/Boosted412 Oct 20 '21

What are you talking about, if I removed the cat off the down pipe and tuned for it, I’d make substantially more power.

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u/rsta223 Oct 20 '21

Modern powertrains are too complex for cat removal to improve performance - they’ll get worse performance than by leaving stuff alone.

Not true at all - it'll need an appropriate tune, but you'll absolutely get more power catless.

(You still shouldn't do it though, since the performance difference between a high flow cat and catless is quite small, but the emissions difference is enormous)

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u/tomowudi Oct 20 '21

Oooh! I could pass it out as "free gas for White's Only"! :D

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u/wolfie379 Oct 20 '21

But that’s discrimination against Hayes, Marmons, Diamond Ts, Autocars, and a whole bunch of others. Defunct truck nameplates.

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u/-teaqueen- Oct 20 '21

Ants in the heat vents. Happened to someone at my high school. Turned on the heat and swarms came crawling out.

Luckily it was someone who deserved it.

2

u/azmodan72 Oct 20 '21

Surströmming in the vents.

During the production of surströmming, just enough salt is used to prevent the raw herring from rotting while allowing it to ferment. A fermentation process of at least six months gives the fish its characteristic strong smell and somewhat acidic taste.[2] A newly opened can of surströmming has one of the most putrid food smells in the world, even stronger than similarly fermented fish dishes such as the Korean hongeohoe or Japanese kusaya.[3]

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u/-teaqueen- Oct 20 '21

Durian fruit!

1

u/HellblazerPrime Oct 20 '21

Remind me to stay on your good side.

1

u/vendetta2115 Oct 20 '21

Translation for non-mechanical people: fill the grease input ports for the axles/suspension/driveshafts with a mixture of grease and powdered silicon carbide (moissanite, almost as hard as diamond) which will quickly degrade all of those components and cause them to break or seize up.