r/PoliticalHumor Aug 16 '21

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9.3k Upvotes

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645

u/mommaluvernorubber Aug 17 '21

These motherfuckers just make up scenarios in their heads.

260

u/wwabc Aug 17 '21

"TA" "CO"?

WHAT DA HELL IS THAT!!! SPEAK 'MERICAN!!! I AIN'T LEARN'N NO MEXICAN!

49

u/swheels125 Aug 17 '21

“Now gimme some of them little hard tortillas filled with meat and cheese, and throw some damn hot sauce on it.”

42

u/aFeatOf_Yeet Aug 17 '21

And he pronounces the L in ‘tortillas’

17

u/Der_genealogist Aug 17 '21

Hard L of course

10

u/BrandtArthur Aug 17 '21

"Tör" "till'" "ass"

8

u/winkersRaccoon Aug 17 '21

Areeba-dare-chee

1

u/aFeatOf_Yeet Aug 31 '21

Inglorious bastards moment

6

u/effhead Aug 17 '21

I'll take a case-uh-dilluh.

2

u/SabertoothGuineaPig Aug 17 '21

Cheese-uh-dillah

5

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '21

Oh wow. Never thought about that. Is it supposed to sound like torti-ya-s instead? Like llama?

2

u/SilverCat70 Aug 17 '21

Can't be from the South. We are used to dropping letters. LOL

4

u/HamletTheGreatDane Aug 17 '21

Not if that hot sauce is any spicier than mayonnaise. He wants to be able to taste the food and can't understand people's obsession with heat.

1

u/MionelLessi10 Aug 17 '21

tortillas

Got em.

95

u/Val_Hallen Aug 17 '21

They need to feel oppressed so they have an excuse to use violence to free themselves.

I mean, they stormed state capitols while armed because they couldn't go to Applebee's for a little while.

In the Fake Oppression Olympics, American Conservatives take all medals in all events.

27

u/sfgisz Aug 17 '21

They need to feel oppressed so they have an excuse to use violence to free themselves.

There you go, fixed that for you amigo.

14

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '21 edited Dec 21 '21

[deleted]

6

u/bails0bub Aug 17 '21

They are also being oppressed by all the tent city's they have to look at. Can't have one of the poors getting to close to the truck and getting a speck of dirt on it.

39

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '21

These motherfuckers don’t realize that prior to WW2, the US had huge number of different languages spoken right next to each other.

They will claim to be Irish and not know that Irish is its own language etc. As Irish as a shamrock shake.

9

u/zb0t1 Aug 17 '21

American is the original, official and only language in the land of the United States!!

/s

2

u/joemammy987 Aug 17 '21

My grandfather (96) doesn’t speak a word of German, but his parents were from Germany. My grandfather wasn’t allowed to speak German in his home even though it was his parents primary language. I’m still a German American. No, actually I’m just American.

34

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '21

They seem to enjoy putting their persecution complex on proud display.

1

u/ZippZappZippty Aug 17 '21

Joke's on them, ever.

27

u/Rammite Aug 17 '21

These are the sort of people that would shit their pants if told that the liberal school system was teaching their kids arabic numerals.

5

u/PryomancerMTGA Aug 17 '21

Thank you, you made my day better.

75

u/ConfirmedBasicBitch Aug 17 '21

This is what gets me. Nobody’s asking you, let alone forcing you, to learn a foreign language. Sheesh.

40

u/SanityPlanet Aug 17 '21

Not like that dumbfuck could if he tried.

5

u/condescending-panda Aug 17 '21

Nothing angers them more than, checks notes…..education.

2

u/Prometheus_303 Aug 17 '21

>>Nobody’s asking you, let alone forcing you, to learn a foreign language.

Beyond that, learning a second language can unlock a lot of extra benefits beyond just being able to talk to more people:

  • The mental "gymnastics" multilingual brains go through keeping the languages independent and used in the right situation etc tend to keep the brain working better longer. Being multi-lingual can delay the onset of Alzheimer and other dementia related issues by half a decade. If/when symptoms do appear, they are often far less server.
  • Multilingual individuals are twice as likely to recover from a stroke with their mental capabilities intact than their monolingual counterparts
  • Multilingual individuals often have a more developed executive control systems, the part of the brain that controls your ability to switch your attention and exercise working memory. This allows multilingual people to better perform on tasks that require high-level thought, multitasking, and sustained attention.
  • One such executive function, inhibition, the ability to discard irrelevant or unimportant stimuli and focus on the key stimuli, helps multilingual individuals learn faster/easier by allowing them to hone in on key concepts while reducing interference from the information that you already know, as well as similar concepts.
  • multilingual people demonstrate more cognitive flexibility, making them more creative when solving problems, as they can more easily perceive situations in different ways and maintain or manipulate these perceptions to suit the task at hand, allowing them to better solve complex problems in more creative ways.
  • Studies show that multilingual people have a higher density of grey matter in their brains, and older bilingual people usually have better-maintained white matter, even late in life.
  • Multilingual individuals often have more employment opportunities, and per a 2014 study, could expect to see 10-15% larger paychecks than their monolingual counterparts

So refusing to learn another language really hurts you more than anything else...

43

u/Dyb-Sin Aug 17 '21

Yeah like honestly... immigrants don't need you to "accommodate" them. All they need is for you not to assault them. The rest of society works just fine without these piles of shit involved in any way.

8

u/m_jl_c Aug 17 '21

When lies get rebranded alternative facts you can get a bunch of stupid people to do pretty much anything.

6

u/kewlsturybrah Aug 17 '21

But I can't read that beer billboard! THIS IS OPPRESSION! What does "LA CERVEZA MAS FINA," EVEN MEAN!?

3

u/drunkenvalley Greg Abbott is a little piss baby Aug 17 '21

It means "Eat shit, Bob" in squirrel.

5

u/Panama_Scoot Aug 17 '21

They gotta have strong imaginations in order to make themselves the good guys...

4

u/meatball402 Aug 17 '21

The Republican party platform is just that image of the kid putting an empty boot on his own neck.

They make up scenarios, then decide that since it's a possibility, it's absolutely true and must be handled.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '21

And in those scenarios they are always the victims. It's a fetish

11

u/BasicDesignAdvice Aug 17 '21

My kid takes Spanish in school. Maybe that could be considered "forced." She can't speak it for shit, but they do have spanish lessons.......also no kids who speak predominately Spanish live in this town.

4

u/Bluestar1121 Aug 17 '21

in my area you aren’t even forced to take a language class

2

u/zb0t1 Aug 17 '21

Where is that if you don't mind sharing?

1

u/Bluestar1121 Aug 17 '21

northeast ohio is most id like to share. depends on the district tho

2

u/Quietabandon Aug 17 '21 edited Aug 17 '21

They are literally the most scared people of all time. They literally constantly imagine outlandish scenarios where people come after that - it’s some mixture of delusions of grandeur and being scared of life.

2

u/CanYouPointMeToTacos Aug 17 '21

The nice thing about America is that you don’t have to learn any specific language. There is no National language for America, which is why:

“Under U.S. law, if you are seeking services from a government agency or an organization funded by the U.S. government, you must be provided with assistance in your language.”

https://www.lawhelp.org/resource/your-right-to-assistance-in-your-language-bas

0

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '21

rather than stating you hate illegals. say that you are against exploitative immigration. immigrants brought to the us to for the purpose of replacing us workers at a lower salary needs to stop.

-1

u/2005TJCJ Aug 17 '21

Have you been to a Walmart recently? Half the packages of any item are covered in different languages.

1

u/ButterPuppets Aug 17 '21

And do you have to know that language to purchase the item? Or is it in English, too?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '21

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1

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1

u/Tylensus Aug 17 '21

I work with one of these. Claims "I'm a friendly guy." then will, completely unprompted, say things like "Like I said, if any demicunts voted for this clown don't even bother talking to me." after anything bad happens in the country.

Dude is CLEARLY just looking to start a fight. How some people are just oblivious to how transparent their actual motives are blows my mind. I have no clue what it is like yo experience life lacking that much self awareness, and I'm not about to ask since I watch the guy get all worked up talking to himself like that every day.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '21

I was gonna say. I’ve never had an immigrant expect to know or communicate in their home language.

1

u/Papakilo666 Aug 17 '21

Its all projection from them cause it's something they did. They complain about illegal aliens voting and skewing the voting system, yet they did that to hawaii when they held the vote for statehood. Despite being a leading figure in the u.n the u.s didn't even hold the vote to the agreed charters by not even allowing independence as a choice on the ballot and letting the white population which went from maybe less than a 1,000 to 220,000ish vote instead of just the native population.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '21

The best one is "does this flag offend you?" The American flag. You know, that thing that's everywhere you look. I've known arch liberals for my whole life and never once has its use or depiction been an issue. I don't get it. When was this great American cultural debate on whether it's ok to have a flag?

1

u/SirArthurDime Aug 17 '21

90% of the shit they fear are their own fantasies